15 Feb KI TISSA- THE BACKWARD SWITCH

I was once speaking with somebody suffering from an eating disorder. After hearing about the terrible condition that this patient was going through, I observed that this person had “a backward switch” – something in the body’s system that worked the precise opposite than the way it is supposed to. Hashem created a “switch” in our body that gets turned on when we need food – making us feel hungry – and then turns off when we are full. For patients suffering from an eating disorder, this switch doesn’t get turned on. Their body needs food, but they don’t feel like eating.

There are many other kinds of “backward switches,” as well. Some people have a backward sensitivity switch – they get insulted when they hear something that isn’t insulting. Some people have a backward anger switch – they get angry at things that really aren’t a big deal. Some people have a backward anxiety switch – they get nervous in situations that aren’t threatening.

And, of course, many of us have the opposite kind of “backward switch” regarding food – we feel we need food when we really don’t. The body does not need any more food, but we feel that more food is good for us, when in reality, it is harmful.

An even more common “backward switch” has to do with money. We always want more money. We never feel we have enough.

Parashat Ki-Tisa tells the story of the sin of the בהזה†לגע†– the golden calf. Where did Beneh Yisrael get the idea to make a golden calf and bow down to it? Where did such a notion come from? The Rabbis explain that at the time of the splitting of the sea, Beneh Yisrael were shown a vision of the Heavenly Throne. On each of the four corners of the throne, there is an image. On the northern side, there is an image of an ox. The north is associated with wealth, and so Beneh Yisrael concluded that in order to earn wealth, they need to worship that species – an ox. And so they made a calf, a young ox.

When Beneh Yisrael left Egypt, they suddenly became exceedingly wealthy. They took the Egyptians’ possessions with them when they left, and then, at the shores of the sea, they collected the precious jewels that decorated the chariots and that now washed ashore. Wealth became so central that they ended up worshipping a golden image.

Wealth is a wonderful blessing. The problem is when we turn money into a “G-d,” the main thing that our lives revolve around.

I tell my students that money is like our left leg. Is our left leg important? Of course it is. Should we do everything we can to protect our left leg? Of course we should. Would we suffer terribly if we didn’t have a left leg? Of course we would. But this does not mean that we should be preoccupied all day with our left leg. We also need many other things.

I was once speaking to a hard-working, successful businessman whose oldest child was getting married. It was several days before the wedding, so I asked him how the last-minute preparations were going.

“Oh, the wedding,” he said. “Gosh, I haven’t really had time to think about it. I’ve been so busy with work.”

This obsession with work and business is the בהזה†לגע†of our generation. There is certainly nothing wrong at all with wanting to be wealthy, or with working hard to attain that goal. The problem becomes when it takes over, when it takes center stage, and other things – like a child’s wedding – get pushed backstage.

The “backward button” has become an especially difficult challenge in our day and age, due to the smartphone. People today are always working, even if they’re not in the office. At all hours, on weekends, on vacations, wherever they are…they’re dealing with work texts and emails. Our instinct tells us that more hard work is always better, when in truth it isn’t. Some things are more important, and we need to give those things the time and attention they deserve. We need to know when to turn off the switch that causes us to try to earn more money.

This Shabbat we read Parashat Parah, the section that deals with the ¨המודא†הרפ†the special cow that was slaughtered and then burned, and its ashes were used for purification. The Rabbis teach us that the המודא†הרפ†was performed to atone for the בהזה†לגע. Just as a mother cleans up the mess made by her child, so does the הרפ†המודא“clean” the “mess” of the calf, the young cow – the בהזה†לגע.

Let us use this opportunity to correct our modern-day golden calf, and learn how to turn off the switch, and recognize that there are things far more important than money.