08 Mar KI-TISSAH: THE BACKWARD SWITCH

I was once speaking
with somebody suffering
from an eating disorder.
After hearing about the
terrible condition that
this patient was going
through, I observed that
this person had “a backward switch” –
something in the body’s system that worked
the precise opposite than the way it is
supposed to. Hashem created a “switch” in
our body that gets turned on when we need
food – making us feel hungry – and then
turns off when we are full. For patients
suffering from an eating disorder, this switch
doesn’t get turned on. Their body needs
food, but they don’t feel like eating.
There are many other kinds of “backward
switches,” as well. Some people have a
backward sensitivity switch – they get
insulted when they hear something that isn’t
insulting. Some people have a backward
anger switch – they get angry at things that
really aren’t a big deal. Some people have a
backward anxiety switch – they get nervous
in situations that aren’t threatening.
And, of course, many of us have the
opposite kind of “backward switch”
regarding food – we feel we need food when
we really don’t. The body does not need any
more food, but we feel that more food is
good for us, when in reality, it is harmful.
An even more common “backward

switch” has to do with money. We always
want more money. We never feel we have
enough.
Parashat Ki-Tissa tells the story of the sin
of the הזהב עגל – the golden calf. Where did
Beneh Yisrael get the idea to make a golden
calf and bow down to it? Where did such a
notion come from? The Rabbis explain that
at the time of the splitting of the sea, Beneh
Yisrael were shown a vision of the Heavenly
Throne. On each of the four corners of the
throne, there is an image. On the northern
side, there is an image of an ox. The north is
associated with wealth, and so Beneh Yisrael
concluded that in order to earn wealth, they
need to worship that species – an ox. And so
they made a calf, a young ox.
When Beneh Yisrael left Egypt, they
suddenly became exceedingly wealthy. They
took the Egyptians’ possessions with them
when they left, and then, at the shores of the
sea, they collected the precious jewels that
decorated the chariots and that now washed
ashore. Wealth became so central that they
ended up worshipping a golden image.
Wealth is a wonderful blessing. The
problem is when we turn money into a “god,”
the main thing that our lives revolve around.
I tell my students that money is like our
left leg. Is our left leg important? Of course
it is. Should we do everything we can to
protect our left leg? Of course we should.

Would we suffer terribly if we didn’t have a
left leg? Of course we would. But this does
not mean that we should be preoccupied all
day with our left leg. We also need many
other things.
I was once speaking to a hard-working,
successful businessman whose oldest child
was getting married. It was several days
before the wedding, so I asked him how the
last-minute preparations were going.
“Oh, the wedding,” he said. “Gosh, I
haven’t really had time to think about it. I’ve
been so busy with work.”
This obsession with work and business is
the הזהב עגל of our generation. There is
certainly nothing wrong at all with wanting
to be wealthy, or with working hard to attain
that goal. The problem becomes when it
takes over, when it takes center stage, and
other things – like a child’s wedding – get
pushed backstage.
The “backward button” has become an
especially difficult challenge in our day and
age, due to the smartphone. People today are
always working, even if they’re not in the
office. At all hours, on weekends, on
vacations, wherever they are…they’re
dealing with work texts and emails. Our
instinct tells us that more hard work is always
better, when in truth it isn’t. Some things are
more important, and we need to give those
things the time and attention they deserve.

We need to know when to turn off the switch
that causes us to try to earn more money.
This Shabbat we read Parashat Parah, the
section that deals with the אדומה פרה ,the
special cow that was slaughtered and then
burned, and its ashes were used for
purification. The Rabbis teach us that the
אדומה פרה was performed to atone for the עגל
הזהב .Just as a mother cleans up the mess
made by her child, so does the אדומה פרה
“clean” the “mess” of the calf, the young
.עגל הזהב the – cow
Let us use this opportunity to correct our
modern-day golden calf, and learn how to
turn off the switch, and recognize that there