14 Jun KNOWING WHEN SOMETHING IS NOT A BIG DEAL
In Parashat Behaalotecha,
we read about the seventy
prophets who were
appointed to help Moshe
Rabbenu. Two of those
prophets, named Eldad
Medad, gave a certain
prophecy, and when Yehoshua – Moshe
Rabbenu’s assistant – heard about it, he was
very upset. He exclaimed, – אד≠ונ≠י†מש≠ה¨†כל≠אם
“My master, Moshe, put them in jail!” The
Midrash explains that Eldad and Medad gave a
prophecy that Moshe would die in the desert,
and it would be Yehoshua who would lead
Beneh Yisrael into the land (which is, of
course, what eventually happened). Yehoshua
was very disturbed by this, and he urged
Moshe to punish them. Moshe, in his great
humility, assured his student that everything
was ok. He said: המ≠קנא†את≠ה†ליø†ומ≠י†ית≠ן†כל†עם
ה߆נב≠יא≠ים¨†כי†ית≠ן†ה߆את†רו≠חו†על≠יהם†! Are you
zealous†for†meø°†If†only†the†entire†nation†of
Hashem would be prophets, that Hashem
would place His spirit [of prophecy] upon
them! There is a word which the Torah uses in
this†story†which†at†first†seems†unnecessaryÆ
When the Torah tells us of Yehoshua’s
response to Eldad and Medad’s prophecy, it
says that Yehoshua was מבחוריו†– “one of his
young ones,” one of the young men whom
Moshe taught and who assisted Moshe. Why
do we need to know that Yehoshua was a ,בחור
a†young†manø†Why†is†this†importantø†How†is
Yehoshua’s†young†age†relevant†to†the†storyø
The Gemara states in Masechet Nedarim (40a):
אם†יא≠מר≠ו†לך†יל≠דים†בנ≠ה†וז≠קנ≠ים†סת≠ור†שמ≠ע
לז≠קנ≠ים†וא≠ל†תש≠מע†לי≠לד≠ים†שב≠נין†יל≠דים†סת≠ירה
וס≠תי≠רת†זק≠נים†בנ≠ין†. If youths tell you to build,
and elders tell you to destroy, listen to the
elders and do not listen to the youths – because
the building of youths is destruction, and the
destruction of elders is building. There is a
tendency among youngsters to make a big deal
out of something which isn’t a big deal. They
see some problem, something that isn’t quite
right, and they right away want to “build,” to
do something drastic. One of the things we
learn as we grow older is the patience and the
wisdom to know when not to “build,” when
rushing to “build” will actually be destructive,
when it’s better to just accept a situation
without panicking and without responding
with drastic measures. This might be why the
Torah emphasizes Yehoshua’s youthfulness in
this story. Of course, Yehoshua was a truly
outstanding young man, who ended up
succeeding Moshe Rabbenu as leader of the
nation. But in his youthfulness, he rushed to a
drastic conclusion – that Eldad and Medad
needed to be punished. Moshe, who was older
and wiser, told Yehoshua that this wasn’t a big
deal. It wasn’t something to get excited about.
To the contrary, Am Yisrael would be better
off with more prophets. This lesson is relevant
to many different areas of life, one of them
being family relationships. All families,
virtually without exception, go through
difficult†periodsƆEven†Moshe†Rabbenu†had
problems in the family. The pesukim at the
end of Parashat Behaalotecha tell that Miriam
and Aharon – Moshe’s sister and brother –
spoke critically about him, and Hashem was
angry about them for their inappropriate
speech about Moshe. All families go through
difficult†periodsƆWhen†it†happens¨†it†is
important to stay calm, and not to make a tense
situation more tenseby getting all upset about it
and resorting to drastic
measures. The same is true about marriage.
All marriages have ups and downs. In a
healthy marriage, the couple doesn’t fall apart
when they hit a rough patch. They get over it,
and they try to learn from it. We need to
know when not to make a big deal out of
something which isn’t a
big deal, to recognize that things can be
imperfect without being a major crisis. By
keeping calm and not turning the problem
into something bigger than it is, we can grow
from the experience and make things much
better going forward.