09 Jul LIFE LESSONS FROM THE ROYAL GAME OF CHESS – PART TWO

Last week, I
introduced the idea that
we can learn many life
skills from the popular
game of chess. So, let
us continue.

When playing the game of chess
properly, one doesn’t just ‘make a move.’
One must have a plan. To make a move
without a purpose is a waste of a tempo
and a sure way to give an opponent the
advantage. In the game of life this is
certainly true. The successful Jew never
coasts aimlessly through life. To the
contrary, the smart person always has a
plan and has goals.
Rav Avigdor Miller, zt”l, zy”a, says that
on the seder night we have the Table of
Contents, “Kadeish, ur’chatz, karpas,
yachatz…,” to teach us that a Jew should
have objectives plotted out and know
at all times what his aims and goals
are. It also teaches us that we should
always do things meaningfully, from the
brachos that we say to the tefillin that we
put on. It should always be done with
thoughtfulness.

Another great lesson is that the winning
chess player doesn’t only think about his
own plan of action. This is a recipe for

disaster! While he is plotting a queen-
side attack, he neglects to see that his

opponent successfully has a mate in three
on the king’s side of the board. The smart
player always trains himself to think what
the other person on the other side of the
board is thinking about.
This is an oh! so important lesson for
marriage. Too often, one spouse only sees
life from their own vantage point. They
don’t stop to think how their partner is
experiencing life. A good example of this
is the wife who tells her husband that she
wants to go out on motzoei Shabbos. Her
husband responds, “After a long Shabbos
you want to go out?” He doesn’t stop to
think that while he was out on Friday night
for shul, shabbos morning for shacharis
and again for mincha and shalosh seudos,
she was stuck in the house preparing,
serving, and cleaning up, watching the
children, and just starving to get outside
a bit. The Mishna teaches, “Al tadin es
chavercha ad shetagia bimkomo – Don’t

judge your friend until
you are in their shoes.”
So, it is an important skill
to be able to see things
from the other person’s
viewpoint.
Another great discipline
of chess is the importance
of looking at the whole
board. How often does
a novice fall into the
trap of having his bishop
snatched by a queen with
a clear path from all the
way on the other side of
the board? Looking at the whole picture
is extremely important in life. As it says,
“Hevei dan es kol ha’adam l’kaf zchus –
Train yourself to judge the whole person
to the side of merit.” If you can look
at the whole person you might discern
that he’s out of work, or he has a child
off the derech, which will change your
perspective on how he is behaving.
The footmen of chess are the pawns. A
feature of their mobility is that they can
only move forward. They can never
move back. Therefore, one must think
carefully before advancing them. You
can’t retreat if you are in trouble. This
is a major lesson for life. Words spoken
can never be fully rescinded. So, think
carefully before saying something.
Hurtful words can leave a lasting
negative imprint upon the recipient.
Rav Avigdor Miller in his Ten
Commandments of Marriage said,
“Never tell your spouse that you want
a divorce.” He considered this so
important for once said, it punctures the
security and the safety of the couple in
a terrible way. This is also true when
dating. Look before you leap! For
marriage is a long-term investment for
this world and the Next World.
In chess, the different pieces have
different levels of strength. The pawn
is worth one point for it has the most
limited range. The bishop is worth three
points. It commands a full diagonal,
both backwards and forwards, but can
never go on the other color. The rook
is five points because, in a vertical and
horizontal way, it controls both colors.
The queen is worth the most points,
a full nine, for it can go diagonally,
horizontally, and vertically. We see from

here that the more flexible a piece is, the
more powerful it is. This is oh! so true in
life. The more rigid a person is, the more
limited they are. While the more flexible
and adaptable a person is, the more likely
they are to have successful and happy
relationships.
I remember I once was going to give a
large shalom bayis shiur and I happened
to meet up with Mr. Leifer, ztl, zya, who
at the time was happily married for sixty
years. I said to him, “I’m going to give
a shiur about marriage. You’ve been
doing it successfully for sixty years what
advise can you give me to share with the
people?” He answered me with a smile.
“I’ll tell you in one word! Flexibility!”
Having healthy elasticity with our mate
allows us to sidestep much friction and
discontent in our union.
May we merit to implement these ideas
in our lives, and may Hashem reward us
with long life, good health, and everything
wonderful.
(To be continued.)