30 Nov MIKETZ: STAYING COMPOSED

Parashat Miketz tells the miraculous story of Yosef’s rise to power in Egypt. After having been falsely accused of assaulting his master’s wife, and sitting in jail for twelve years, he suddenly became the second-in-command in Egypt, as a result of his being brought from prison to interpret Pharaoh’s unusual dreams.

The Midrash comments that Yosef was actually supposed to be released from prison two years earlier, when the םיקשמה†רש†(cupbearer) was released from the prison as Yosef had predicted. Yosef had asked the רש†םיקשמה†to mention him to Pharaoh and have him released from jail. Yosef made this request twice. Since he placed his trust in the םיקשמה†רש†instead of trusting in Hashem, the Midrash says, Yosef was punished with an extra two years in prison – one year for each request.

The Midrash is very difficult to understand. Is there anything wrong with asking for help? Yosef knew that the םיקשמה†רש†was going to come before Pharaoh to serve him. Why shouldn’t he have asked the םיקשמה†רש†to mention him to Pharaoh so he could be released from the dungeon?

The Hazon Ish explained that what Yosef did was an act of desperation.

There was no reason to believe that the רש†םיקשמה†could help him. The םיקשמה†רש†was just one of many, many royal servants, and he had been imprisoned for committing a crime. He was not a man of influence. There was little to no chance of him helping Yosef. Indeed, it took a great miracle – Pharaoh’s strange dreams and his strong need for an interpretation – for the םיקשמה†רש†to help Yosef. But Yosef asked him because he was desperate, and when people are desperate, they act irrationally. For a man on Yosef’s level of faith in Hashem, this was considered a sin.

This mistake made by Yosef sheds light on what might be his greatest quality – and one which we should all learn from.

Throughout Yosef’s life, no matter what situation he found himself in, he remained composed. He acted with reason and with discipline, without losing control. This is true when he was a slave, when he was in prison, and when he was the vizier and his brothers came to buy grain. The commentators explain that Yosef knew he could not right away reveal his identity to them, because he suspected they still hated him and wanted to hurt him. Instead, he devised an intricate plan to have them gradually realize that they had made a mistake by selling him as a slave. He controlled his emotions throughout this painful process, retaining his composure at every step of the way. His only mistake was asking the םיקשמה†רש†for help.

How did Yosef develop this quality? What was the source of his extraordinary ability to remain calm and composed?

The Midrash teaches that when Yosef was tempted by Potifar’s wife, he told her that he could not commit this sinful act because his grandfather, Yitzhak Avinu, was chosen by G-d as a sacrifice, and so he, too, might be chosen as a sacrifice. If he committed this grave sin, he would be invalid as a sacrifice. According to another opinion in the Midrash, Yosef said that G-d might choose to communicate with Him via prophecy, and he would be unable to receive prophecy if he committed this act.

When we dream big, we have more discipline and self-control. If we have lofty ambitions, we have more at stake, and so we retain our composure.

I’ve seen this many times with regard to finances. Ironically, wealthy people are sometimes more fiscally disciplined than people in debt. When a person already has a $10,000 debt on his credit card which he cannot pay, he’ll be more reckless, figuring that another few hundred dollars of debt won’t make much of a difference. But when a person is financially secure, he is more careful, because he does not want to compromise their financial security.

Yosef dreamt big. He did not see himself as just a lowly slave. He saw himself as the son of Yaakov Avinu and the grandson of Yitzhak Avinu, as a member of a special family that has a special relationship with Hashem. And seeing himself this way enabled him to stay composed and act in a noble, dignified manner under all circumstances.

Let’s always remember who we are – that we are the descendants of Avraham, Yitzhak and Yaakov, and of so many great individuals in our history. Let’s always remember that we belong to a special, ancient people, that we are Hashem’s beloved, chosen nation, that we are all princes and princesses. If we keep this in mind, we will act in a respectable, dignified and composed manner, even under stressful and difficult situations, as is befitting for members of Am Yisrael.