12 Dec MIKETZ: STAYING COMPOSED

Parashat Miketz tells the
miraculous story of Yosef’s
rise to power in Egypt. After
having been falsely accused
of assaulting his master’s
wife, and sitting in jail for

twelve years, he suddenly became the second-
in-command in Egypt, as a result of his being

brought from prison to interpret Pharaoh’s
unusual dreams.
The Midrash comments that Yosef was actually
supposed to be released from prison two years
earlier, when the Sar Hamashkim (cupbearer)
was released from the prison as Yosef had
predicted. Yosef had asked the Sar Hamashkim
to mention him to Pharaoh and have him
released from jail. Yosef made this request
twice. Since he placed his trust in the Sar
Hamashkim instead of trusting in Hashem, the
Midrash says, Yosef was punished with an extra
two years in prison – one year for each request.
The Midrash is very difficult to understand. Is
there anything wrong with asking for
help? Yosef knew that the Sar Hamashkim was
going to come before Pharaoh to serve him. Why
shouldn’t he have asked the Sar Hamashkim to
mention him to Pharaoh so he could be released
from the dungeon?
The Hazon Ish explained that what Yosef did
was an act of desperation.

There was no reason to believe that the Sar
Hamashkim could help him. The Sar
Hamashkim was just one of many, many royal
servants, and he had been imprisoned for
committing a crime. He was not a man of
influence. There was little to no chance of him
helping Yosef. Indeed, it took a great miracle –
Pharaoh’s strange dreams and his strong need
for an interpretation – for the Sar Hamashkim to
help Yosef. But Yosef asked him because he was
desperate, and when people are desperate, they
act irrationally. For a man on Yosef’s level of
faith in Hashem, this was considered a sin.
This mistake made by Yosef sheds light on
what might be his greatest quality – and one
which we should all learn from.
Throughout Yosef’s life, no matter what
situation he found himself in, he remained
composed. He acted with reason and with
discipline, without losing control. This is true
when he was a slave, when he was in prison, and
when he was the vizier and his brothers came to
buy grain. The commentators explain that Yosef
knew he could not right away reveal his identity
to them, because he suspected they still hated
him and wanted to hurt him. Instead, he devised
an intricate plan to have them gradually realize
that they had made a mistake by selling him as a
slave. He controlled his emotions throughout
this painful process, retaining his composure at

every step of the way. His only mistake was
asking the Sar Hamashkim for help.
How did Yosef develop this quality? What was
the source of his extraordinary ability to remain
calm and composed?
The Midrash teaches that when Yosef was
tempted by Potifar’s wife, he told her that he
could not commit this sinful act because his
grandfather, Yitzhak Avinu, was chosen by G-d
as a sacrifice, and so he, too, might be chosen as
a sacrifice. If he committed this grave sin, he
would be invalid as a sacrifice. According to
another opinion in the Midrash, Yosef said that
G-d might choose to communicate with Him via
prophecy, and he would be unable to receive
prophecy if he committed this act.
When we dream big, we have more discipline
and self-control. If we have lofty ambitions, we
have more at stake, and so we retain our
composure.
I’ve seen this many times with regard to
finances. Ironically, wealthy people are
sometimes more fiscally disciplined than people
in debt. When a person already has a $10,000
debt on his credit card which he cannot pay,
he’ll be more reckless, figuring that another few
hundred dollars of debt won’t make much of a
difference. But when a person is financially
secure, he is more careful, because he does not

want to compromise their financial security
Yosef dreamt big. He did not see himself as
just a lowly slave. He saw himself as the son of
Yaakov Avinu and the grandson of Yitzhak
Avinu, as a member of a special family that has
a special relationship with Hashem. And seeing
himself this way enabled him to stay composed
and act in a noble, dignified manner under all
circumstances.
Let’s always remember who we are – that we
are the descendants of Avraham, Yitzhak and
Yaakov, and of so many great individuals in our
history. Let’s always remember that we belong
to a special, ancient people, that we are
Hashem’s beloved, chosen nation, that we are
all princes and princesses. If we keep this in
mind, we will act in a respectable, dignified and
composed manner, even under stressful and
difficult situations, as is befitting for members
of Am Yisrael.