03 Sep MISSING APOLOGIES TO THE HOSTAGES

“Ok, sweet boy, go now
on your journey, I hope
it’s as good as the trips
you dreamed about,
because finally, my sweet
sweet boy, finally, finally,
finally, finally you are
free. I will love you and I
will miss you every single day for the rest of my
life.”
It was hard to not be brought to tears listening
to these piercing words, uttered by Rachel
Goldberg-Polin as she bid farewell to her
beloved son Hersh. After his arm was blown off
on October 7, Hersh survived 11 months in
captivity, held hostage by barbaric and brutal
terrorists, but before he could be rescued or
released, Hersh and five other hostages were
executed in cold blood, their bodies discovered
soon after by heroic IDF soldiers.
Rachel shared a message of love and of
gratitude but also included an apology. “At this
time, I ask your forgiveness. If ever I was
impatient or insensitive to you during your life,
or neglected you in some way, I deeply and
sincerely request your forgiveness, Hersh. If
there was something we could have done to save
you, and we didn’t think of it, I beg your
forgiveness. We tried so very hard, so deeply
and desperately. I’m sorry.”
She wasn’t the only one to react to this horrific
outcome with an apology. At Hersh’s funeral,

President Isaac Herzog also expressed a request
for forgiveness from Hersh and his family and
from all of the hostages: “Beloved Hersh, with a
torn and broken heart, I stand here today as the
president of the State of Israel, bidding you
farewell and asking for your forgiveness, from
you, and from Carmel, from Eden, from Almog,
from Alex, and Ori, and from all your loved
ones. I apologize on behalf of the State of Israel,
that we failed to protect you in the terrible
disaster of October 7, that we failed to bring you
home safely. I apologize that the country you
immigrated to at the age of 7, wrapped in the
Israeli flag, could not keep you safe. Rachel,
Jon, dear Leebie and Orly, grandparents, and the
whole family – I ask for your forgiveness,
forgiveness that we could not bring Hersh back
home alive. Your special light, Hersh, captivated
all of us from the first glance, even through the
posters crying out for his return.”
In a press conference later that day, in the
context of pressure on him to reach an
agreement, Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu also
joined the chorus of apologies. “To the families
of the six hostages, I ask for your forgiveness
that we did not succeed in bringing them home
alive. We were close, but we did not make it.”
Certainly cynics and critics will challenge the
sincerity of politicians’ apologies, why and
when they are offered and if they should be
accepted if there was, in fact, more that they
could have done.

On that day of apologies what struck me was
not who offered them, but who did not. Make no
mistake – the biggest apologies should be issued
by the evil perpetrators who committed and
continue to commit these atrocities, their
associates, supporters, and backers. Of course,
we are not holding our breath for these
apologies. Yet there are plenty more that also are
notable in their absence.
Hersh was an American citizen and was also
failed by the country of his birth. In all the
statements released by members of the US
Administration there was no apology, not even a
lip-service request for forgiveness for a failure
to bring him home. Were they really “working
day and night” non-stop? Could overwhelming
pressure not have been applied with increased
sanctions on Iran, pressure on Qatar with the
threat of withdrawing our bases there,
withholding aid to Lebanon and Egypt, pressure
on Turkey and more? Where is the apology for
pressuring Israel not to go into Rafah, a decision
that may well have contributed to this horrific
result? Where is the apology for withholding
arms to support Israel’s effort against Hamas?
Where is the apology from the Red Cross, who
failed to visit or protect Hersh or any of the
hostages even once?
Where is the apology from humanitarian
organizations who are outspoken about innocent
civilians in Gaza but failed to protect and secure
the release of Israeli hostages?
Where is the apology from the UK who,
while five British citizens are still being held
hostage in Gaza, and days after Hamas
executed six hostages, suspended thirty arms
licenses to Israel?
Where is the apology from Canada who took
over 24 hours to condemn the murder of the
hostages by Hamas in Gaza and then
proceeded in the same statement to call for an
immediate ceasefire?
Where is the apology from the members of
the media who referred to the hostages as
“having died” rather than accurately reporting
their murder, who refer to civilians in captivity
as “prisoners” rather than “hostages,” who
write about other hostages being “freed” when
the reality is they were rescued?
Where is the apology from the world who,
less than a century removed from after the
most heinous genocide in history, yet again
failed to protect the Jewish people and, in the
time that has followed, still fail to truly support
our full right and ability to protect ourselves?
While everyone seems to have fairly strong
opinions on the matter, the question of whether
the leaders of Israel could have or should have
made more compromises to reach a deal that
would have brought these hostages home is
incredibly complicated and difficult with
grave consequences in both directions.
Though they certainly aren’t directly guilty for
the murder of innocent Israelis, ultimately
leaders are responsible for the safety and
security of their people. President Herzog and
Prime Minster Netanyahu were right to take
ask for forgiveness for having failed in that
role.
What I’m thinking about most, though, is
that while some have apologized, and we are

waiting for others to ask forgiveness, there is
one more group who needs to reflect and should
be expressing responsibility.
Our Parsha, Shoftim, tells the story of a corpse
found in the field with no indications or evidence
as to who the murderer is. The Sanhedrin
justices are charged with the task of measuring
to determine which is the closest city to the
scene of the crime. An eglah, a calf in its first
year that has not worked and is not blemished, is
executed in the valley. The leaders of the city
and the Kohanim are present and a declaration
ensues.
The elders of the city proclaim:
ָיֵָ֗ד�֗ינּו ֹ֤ל�֤א )שפכה( ]ָֽׁש�ְׁפְכּ֙ו֙[ ֶאֶת־ַהַָּ֣ד�֣ם ַהֶַּ֔ז�֔ה ְו ְֵעֵיֵ֖נ�֖ינּו ֹ֥ל�֥א
ָרָֽאּֽו׃ ַּכֵּּפּ֩ר֩ ְלְַע ּ ְַּמָ֨ך֨ ִיְִׂשָׂרֵָ֤א�֤ל ֲאֶׁשׁר־ָּפִּ֙ד֙יָ֙ת�֙ ְיְֹהָֹ֔ו�֔ה ְו ְַאַל־ִּת ּ ֵּּת֙ן֙
Our “ָּ֣ד�֣ם ָנִָ֔ק ּ ֔י ְּבֶ֖ק�ֶ֖רֶב ַעְַּמָּ֣ך֣ ִיְִׂשָׂרֵָ֑א�֑ל ְו ְִנִַּכֵּּ֥פ�֥ר ָלֶָ֖ה�֖ם ַה �ָּֽדֽם׃
hands did not shed this blood, nor did our eyes
see it done. Absolve, Your people Israel whom
You redeemed, and do not let guilt for the blood
of the innocent remain among Your people
Israel.” And they will be absolved of bloodguilt.
The Ibn Ezra explains this seemingly unusual
process, the Egla Arufa, as a procedure designed
to achieve atonement not so much for the
murder, as for the sins of the townspeople
which, metaphysically, allowed a murder to take
place in their vicinity. If a tragedy unfolds in a
community, it is cause for introspection to
examine what did they do wrong and how could
this have happened there.
The Jewish people collectively owe an
apology to the victims of October 7, to the
heroic soldiers who have been at war since then,
to the hostages, and to all of those suffering
during this difficult time. We aren’t the
perpetrators and would never directly harm a
fellow Jew, but if these monumental events are
happening under our watch and in our backyard,
we are responsible both metaphysically and
spiritually. We could and should be bigger and
better to one another and to Hashem.
If only we were worthy, if only we truly woke
up, if only we changed how we treat one another,
how we represent Hashem in this world,
following His word and repairing the world in
His image, this Galus and this suffering would
end.
To Hersh, Carmel, Eden, Almog, Alex, and
Ori, to the 1,611 who have died and the 101 still
being held hostage, from the bottom of our
hearts and from the depths of our beings, we
apologize. We are sorry we haven’t learned the
lessons of our history. We are sorry we didn’t do
all we could and should to create a different
destiny. We ask for your forgiveness and we
promise to be better and to do more until we live
in a way that is worthy of finally changing our
condition forever with the coming of Moshiach.