29 Sep MUSSAR AND MENTOR: A WONDERFUL COMBINATION
In Masechtas Yoma [38b], the Gemora tells us that when we come before the Heavenly tribunal for the final judgment, each one of us will offer excuses. The poor man will say that he was desperately preoccupied with eking out a living. The rich person will say that he was overwhelmed by the pressures of his financial holdings and just couldn’t find a moment for spiritual improvement. The sensual man will defend himself with the claim that it wasn’t his fault that Hashem gave him such virility. Indeed, each of us in turn will say to Hashem, ‘It isn’t my fault that You gave me such a temper, that I had such a jealous nature. Hashem, if You had made me with a more balanced temperament, everything would have been very different.’
Rav Segal, the Manchester Rosh Yeshiva, Zt”l, Zy”a, advises us that Hashem will parry these protestations with the simple question of why we didn’t study mussar, i.e., works such as the Chovos HaLevovos or the Orchos HaChaim, or Rav Moshe Chaim Luzzato’s Mesilas Yesharim, which train a person how to spot his or her own character flaws and how to correct them. To this Divine question we will have no answer. Rav Segal therefore recommends that especially before the Day of Judgment and Yom Kippur, we accept upon ourselves a course of study in one of the great mussar works.
A question was posed: If a person has only a half an hour per day to study, what should he learn? Should he learn Chumash, the actual Word of Hashem? Or, perhaps, he should pursue Halachah in order to know how to live correctly? The famous answer given is that he should learn mussar for, when he learns mussar, he will realize that he really has more time to learn daily than a half an hour.
Mussar will first of all sensitize us to make us more aware of the severity of the crimes in daily life that we might take too lightly. If we sit down and peruse carefully the writings of the Chofetz Chaim, we will become more sensitized to the horrific crime of talking about others. In Mesilas Yesharim, Rav Moshe Chaim Luzzato will open our eyes to the folly of such sins as lying and the like, while the Chovos HaLevovos will force us to take a hard look at how much of a part does Hashem have in the decision making process of our life. Another great sefer for this time of the year is the Shaarei Teshuvah of Rabbeinu Yonah. It is a veritable syllabus of how, and on what, we should do teshuvah.
I have the pleasure to occasionally speak during the summer in the Monticello Shul in Monticello, New York. The rabbi there is a wonderful man by the name of Rabbi Chanowitz, Shlit”a. He is a follower of Chabad Chassidus. I had an occasion recently to speak to him about certain practices of a segment of Chabad that I find troubling. He shared with me something beautiful about Chabad that I think we can all learn from and I want to share it with you. Rabbi Chanowitz told me that every devotee of Chabad, every man, every woman, and every child, is trained to have a personal mashpiah, a mentor, to whom they can go to for advice and for mussar. What a beautiful thing! How much better life would be if, when someone has a fight with their sibling, they would go to their respective mentor and ask what the Torah way is to deal with the problem. Remember, the mentor has the advantage of not being personally involved and can therefore see the matter much more clearly.
This wonderful practice is really the advice of the Mishnah in Pirkei Avos, “Asei lecha Rav – Make for yourself a Rebbe,” which, if everyone would adhere to, many of our problems in shul, in the business place, and in the home, would not escalate into crises. I believe that this is another question that the Heavenly tribunal will ask us: Did you have a mashpiah, did you have a mentor. These are two improvements that we can accept upon ourselves in the coming year. In the merit of our attempting to improve, may Hashem bless us with long life, good health, and everything wonderful.