28 Aug Mussar & Mentor: A Wonderful Combination
In Masechtas Yoma [38b], the Gemora tells us that when
we come before the Heavenly tribunal for the final judgment,
each one of us will offer excuses. The poor man
will say that he was desperately preoccupied with eking
out a living. The rich person will say that he was overwhelmed
by the pressures of his financial holdings and
just couldn’t find a moment for spiritual improvement.
The sensual man will defend himself with the claim that
it wasn’t his fault that Hashem gave him such virility. Indeed,
each of us in turn will say to Hashem, ‘It isn’t my
fault that You gave me such a temper, that I had such a
jealous nature. Hashem, if You had made me with a more
balanced temperament, everything would have been very
different.’
Rav Segal, the Manchester Rosh Yeshiva, Zt”l, Zy”a, advises
us that Hashem will parry these protestations with
the simple question of why we didn’t study mussar, i.e.,
works such as the Chovos HaLevovos or the Orchos Ha-
Chaim, or Rav Moshe Chaim Luzzato’s Mesilas Yesharim,
which train a person how to spot his or her own character
flaws and how to correct them. To this Divine question
we will have no answer. Rav Segal therefore recommends
that especially before the Day of Judgment and Yom Kippur,
we accept upon ourselves a course of study in one of
the great mussar works.
A question was posed: If a person has only a half an hour
per day to study, what should he learn? Should he learn
Chumash, the actual Word of Hashem? Or, perhaps, he
should pursue Halachah in order to know how to live
correctly? The famous answer given is that he should
learn mussar for, when he learns mussar, he will realize
that he really has more time to learn daily than a half an
hour.
Mussar will first of all sensitize us to
make us more aware of the severity of
the crimes in daily life that we might
take too lightly. If we sit down and
peruse carefully the writings of the
Chofetz Chaim, we will become more
sensitized to the horrific crime of talking
about others. In Mesilas Yesharim,
Rav Moshe Chaim Luzzato will open
our eyes to the folly of such sins as
lying and the like, while the Chovos
HaLevovos will force us to take a
hard look at how much of a part does
Hashem have in the decision making
process of our life. Another great
sefer for this time of the year is the
Shaarei Teshuvah of Rabbeinu Yonah.
It is a veritable syllabus of how, and on
what, we should do teshuvah.
I have the pleasure to occasionally speak during the summer
in the Monticello Shul in Monticello, New York. The
rabbi there is a wonderful man by the name of Rabbi
Chanowitz, Shlit”a. He is a follower of Chabad Chassidus.
I had an occasion recently to speak to him about
certain practices of a segment of Chabad that I find troubling.
He shared with me something beautiful about
Chabad that I think we can all learn from and I want to
share it with you. Rabbi Chanowitz told me that every
devotee of Chabad, every man, every woman, and every
child, is trained to have a personal mashpiah, a mentor, to
whom they can go to for advice and for mussar. What a
beautiful thing! How much better life would be if, when
someone has a fight with their sibling, they would go to
their respective mentor and ask what the Torah way is
to deal with the problem. Remember, the mentor has
the advantage of not being personally involved and can
therefore see the matter much more clearly.
This wonderful practice is really the advice of the Mishnah
in Pirkei Avos, “Asei lecha Rav – Make for yourself a
Rebbe,” which, if everyone would adhere to, many of our
problems in shul, in the business place, and in the home,
would not escalate into crises. I believe that this is another
question that the Heavenly tribunal will ask us: Did
you have a mashpiah, did you have a
mentor. These are two improvements
that we can accept upon ourselves in
the coming year. In the merit of our
attempting to improve, may Hashem
bless us with long life, good health,
and everything wonderful.
Please learn, give tzedaka, and daven
l’iluy nishmas of Miriam Liba bas Aharon.