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    PARASHAT NASO: MARITAL HARMONY

    The Torah in

    Parashat Naso

    discusses the

    procedure of

    the “Sota,”

    which was

    required when a husband had reason

    to suspect his wife of infidelity. He

    would bring her to the Bet

    Ha’mikdash where the Kohen would

    conduct a special ceremony whereby

    her innocence or guilt would be

    determined. In introducing this

    section, the Torah writes, “Ish Ish Ki

    Tisteh Ishto…” – “If a man’s wife

    strays…” The question immediately

    arises as to why the Torah here

    repeats the word “Ish” (“man”), as

    though it was saying, “A man, a man

    whose wife strays…” What is the

    purpose of this repetition? One of the

    scholars of Musar suggested that the

    Torah here subtly addresses the

    question of why a married woman

    would enter into an extramarital

    relationship. What might cause a

    woman to betray her husband? The

    answer, the Torah teaches us, is often

    “Ish Ish” – that the marriage was only

    about the husband. A marriage is

    supposed to be “Ish Isha” – a husband

    and wife. But when one spouse

    dominates the relationship,

    concerning himself or herself with

    only his or her concerns and interests,

    without giving proper consideration

    and regard to those of the other

    spouse, the other spouse might

    naturally feel tempted to find

    emotional satisfaction elsewhere. Of

    course, this does not justify betrayal.

    But the Torah cautions the husband

    that a situation of “Ish Ish,” if he does

    not pay sufficient attention to his

    wife’s needs and wishes, if he does

    not show her respect and care, he

    unwittingly builds her temptation to

    pursue other sources of gratification.

    The Rambam (Rabbi Moshe

    Maimonides, Spain-Egypt,

    1135-1204) writes that a husband is

    required to “honor his wife more than

    himself.” Marriage must never

    become a one-way street. Each must

    respect and look out for the needs and

    wishes of the other, rather than

    focusing only on his or her own

    interests. This mutual care, respect

    and attention will help ensure that

    both spouses receive the happiness

    and satisfaction they seek, that the

    marriage will serve them both as an

    everlasting source of joy and

    fulfillment.