12 Mar PARASHAT PEKUDEH: BRINGING THE SHECHINA THROUGH MARRIAGE

Parashat Pekudeh
continues the Torah’s
discussion of the
Mishkan, the portable
Temple which Beneh
Yisrael carried with them through the
wilderness. The purpose of the Mishkan
– which was also the purpose of the Bet
Ha’mikdash, which later replaced it – is stated
earlier, in Parashat Teruma (25:8): “Ve’asu
Li Mikdash Ve’shachanti Be’tocham.” The
Mishkan served to bring the Shechina, the
Divine Presence, into the nation’s midst.
Our Sages teach that in the absence of the Bet
Ha’mikdash, this purpose is served by the
institution of marriage. Although we cannot,
unfortunately, experience the Shechina as
we did in the times of Bet Ha’mikdash, we
can still bring the Divine Presence into our
homes by building and maintaining strong
and happy marriages. This concept is alluded
to in the “Hareh At” declaration which the
groom makes under the Huppa when he
formally designates the bride as his wife. He
announces, “Hareh At Mekudeshet Li” (“You
are hereby designated for me”). The word
“Li” brings to mind the aforementioned verse
in which G-d commands Beneh Yisrael to
build the Mishkan: “Ve’asu Li Mikdash.” The

building of a Jewish home takes the place
of the building of a Mikdash as the vehicle
through which the Shechina is brought into
our lives, and we therefore include a reference
to the Mikdash under the Huppa.
This may also explain the widespread custom
to break a glass under the Huppa after the
ceremony. This unusual practice is widely
understood as intended to commemorate
the tragedy of the Hurban, the Temple’s
destruction. Even in our moment of joy,
we need to take a moment to reflect upon
the fact that our joy remains incomplete
without the Bet Ha’mikdash. The question
arises, however, as to why this is done
only at weddings, and not at other joyous
occasions, such as a Berit Mila or Bar Misva.
The answer, perhaps, lies in the association
between marriage and the Mikdash. Since
marriage replaces the Mikdash as the
means of bringing down the Shechina, it is
specifically then, when a couple marries, that
we express our yearning for the restoration of
the ultimate residence of the Shechina – the
Bet Ha’mikdash.
It is worth noting in this context an entirely
different explanation given for the custom
of breaking a glass under the Huppa. The
Rokeah (Rabbi Elazar of Worms, 1176-

1238) writes that the breaking of the glass is
intended to bring to mind Moshe Rabbenu’s
breaking the two stone tablets when he saw
Beneh Yisrael worshipping the golden calf.
This explanation, of course, gives rise to the
question as to the connection between the
breaking of the tablets and a Jewish wedding.
Moshe’s lifework was embodied by those
two stone tablets. His job was to lead Beneh
Yisrael from Egypt and bring them to Mount
Sinai to receive G-d’s commands. The tablets
represented the culmination of the historic
process through which Moshe led the people.
Yet, when it became clear that the process had
failed, that Beneh Yisrael were not worthy of
the tablets engraved by G-d, he broke them.
He did not think to himself, “After all the
work I put into this, I am not going to break
the tablets.” Instead, Moshe did what to be
done, without looking back at the work he
had put in.
This is a vital message for a bride and groom.
Too often, we argue and stubbornly refuse to
budge on principle, because we insist that we
are right. One of the most important guidelines
for a peaceful marriage is to be smart, not
right. It is simply not worth the tension and
anguish to stick to one’s guns and refuse to
give in. Just as Moshe was prepared to shatter

the stone tablets in which he had invested so
much, similarly, we need to be prepared to
“break” our ideas and preconceived notions
for the sake of marital harmony. And so right
at the moment when a young couple begins
their marriage, we remind them of Moshe
Rabbenu breaking the tablets, to teach them
this lesson of flexibility and sacrifice.
In order to bring the Shechina into our
homes, we need to make the sacrifices and
compromises that are necessary for a happy,
stable marriage. We can and must work to
build our own personal “Bateh Mikdash,” our
Jewish homes, by investing in our marriages
and knowing when we need to “break the
tablets” and compromise for the sake of
peace and harmony.