13 Jun PARASHAT SHELACH: KNOWING WHO I WANT TO BE

Parashat Shelah tells
one of the most tragic
stories in the entire
Torah – the story of
the spies.
Beneh Yisrael were
about to enter the Land of Israel. Moshe
sent a team of spies to take a tour of the
land and then tell the people what it’s
like. The idea was to get the people
excited about Eretz Yisrael. Instead, the
exact opposite occurred.
The spies came back with a negative
report, scaring the people by telling
them about the powerful armies of the
nations who live there, insisting
that Beneh Yisrael wouldn’t stand a
chance fighting against them. They also
said that in any event, the land is a bad
place to live.
Hashem was angry at the people for not
believing Him, and for rejecting the land
that was promised to them and where
they were destined to build their
country. He decreed that they would
journey in the desert for 40 years, during

which time that generation would die,
and it would be their children who would
enter the land.
In issuing this decree, Hashem
announced that Beneh Yisrael “will
be grazing in the desert for forty years”
(14:33).
Why does Hashem speak of the people
as GRAZING in the desert like
sheep? What does this even mean?
The commentators explain that a
shepherd’s job is to bring the sheep to
pasture so they properly grow and
develop. And this was Hashem’s
intention when He decreed that Beneh
Yisrael would spend 40 years in the
desert. They needed time to grow, to
transform, to become the people they
needed to be.
The fact that they did not want to go
into Eretz Yisrael showed that they
weren’t the people they needed to
be. They weren’t people who wanted to
be Hashem’s nation. They needed time
to become the nation they were supposed
to be.
They needed to “graze” – to develop, to
grow, to ask themselves, “Who do we
want to be?”
Many times, people find themselves
confused and conflicted. They’re not
sure which parties they should be going
to or not going to. They’re not sure how
they should be dressing. They’re not
sure how they should be spending their
long Shabbat afternoons. They’re not
sure how to allocate their time between
work, their spouse, their children, their
friends, and Torah study.
All this becomes much easier once we
decide WHO WE WANT TO BE.
Deciding “who I want to be” is much,
much more important than deciding
“what I want to do.” Once I decide who
I want to be, the other choices become
clear and obvious.
Once we firmly decide that we want to
be a devoted, attentive, kind spouse, it
becomes much easier to be one.
Once we firmly decide that we want to

be an engaged parent, it becomes much
easier to make time for our kids.
Once we firmly decide we want to be
serious Torah Jews, it becomes much
easier to make the decisions that the
Torah wants us to make.
In order to do this, we need to make the
time to “GRAZE,” to think, to ask
ourselves these very important
questions. Just like our ancestors
needed to make the decision of what
kind of nation they were going to be, we
need to take the time to answer the
critical question, “Who do I want to be?”
Once we answer that question, all other
decisions become so much easier.