07 Jan PARASHAT VAYEHI: THE GREATEST BLESSING OF ALL

Many parents observe

the beautiful, time-
honored practice to

bless their children
every week on Friday
night. The blessing
they give is, “Yesimcha Elokim Ke’Efrayim
Ve’chi’Mnashe” – that Hashem should make
them like Yosef’s two sons, Efrayim and
Menashe.
The source of this blessing is the story told in
Parashat Vayehi of Yaakob Abinu’s emotional
meeting with Yosef and his two sons before
his passing. After blessing Efrayim and
Menashe, Yaakob proclaimed that for all time,
parents in Am Yisrael will bless their children
that they should become like Efrayim and
Menashe (48:20).
The obvious question arises as to why parents
wish for their children that they should
grow to become specifically like Efrayim
and Menashe. Undoubtedly, Efrayim and
Menashe were exceptionally righteous men;
after all, they were privileged to be the
founders of two of the twelve tribes of Israel.
However, our nation has been graced with
countless outstanding spiritual giants, from
the time of our saintly patriarchs until even
our generation. What is unique about Efrayim
and Menashe, such that parents wish for their
children to become like them?

The answer becomes clear when we review
the relationships between brothers from the
beginning of the Humash until our Parasha.
The first siblings in human history were
Kayin and Hebel, the two sons of Adam. As
we know, they both brought offerings to G-d,
who accepted Hebel’s sacrifice, but rejected
Kayin’s. Consumed with jealousy, Kayin
proceeded to kill his brother.
Generations later, Abraham Abinu begot two
sons – Yishmael and Yishak. The younger
brother, Yishak, was chosen as heir to the
special covenant that G-d made with Abraham.
Yishmael refused to accept this decision, and
taunted and even threatened Yishak. This is
what prompted Sara to urge Abraham to drive
Yishmael from the home.
Yishak, too, had two sons – Yaakob and Esav.
Yaakob, the younger twin, received their
father’s blessings, which Esav resented. Esav
planned to kill Yaakob, who fled from Eretz
Yisrael to escape his brother’s wrath.
This unfortunate pattern of fraternal strife
continued in the next generation. Yosef’s
brothers resented Yaakob’s special love for
him, the special garment that Yaakob made for
him, and Yosef’s dreams of leadership. They
undertook the drastic measure of throwing
him into a pit, intending to kill him, and then
decided to lift him from the pit and sell him
as a slave.

When Yosef brought his two sons to see
Yaakob, this pattern of hostility finally ended.
The Torah relates that when Yaakob blessed
Efrayim and Menashe, he purposely placed
his right hand on the head of the younger son,
Efrayim, and his left hand on Menashe’s head.
He explained to Yosef that while both tribes
will, in the future, attain greatness, the tribe
of Efrayim will become more numerous and
more powerful. Menashe, the older brother,
did not respond. He did not resent being
surpassed by his brother, and felt no envy.
Finally, the ill of fraternal strife was cured.
The greatest blessing that a parent could wish
for his or her children is that they should
follow this example of contentment, that they
avoid petty competition and jealousy, that
they feel satisfied with what they have in life
even if others have more. All of us, without
exception, are going to find on occasion that
life isn’t fair, that the people around us are
more fortunate and more blessed than we
are in some way. This is inevitable. As hard
as parents should – and, generally, do – try to
treat all their children fairly and equally, some
children are going to feel disadvantaged or
shortchanged. And even if they don’t feel this
way at home, they will feel this way in school,
in their social circles, in their professional
lives, or in some other framework. There is
nobody for whom life is always and entirely
fair. And this is why the blessing, “May G-d

make you like Efrayim and Menashe” is so
vital. In order to live happily and contentedly,
we need to follow the example of Efrayim
and Menashe. We need to transcend envy and
competition, and feel happy with whatever we
have.
The Gemara (Shabbat 152b) teaches that if a
person lives with envy, then after his death,
even his bones decay. Jealousy is so toxic, and
so destructive, that its effects upon a person’s
being endure even after he leaves this world.
Let us all strive to truly become like Efrayim
and Menashe, to respect and admire our peers
even if we see them enjoying success that we
do not enjoy, so that we will all live together
happily, harmoniously and lovingly, setting an
inspiring example for the rest of Am Yisrael
and for the rest of the world.