01 Jun PARSHA IN PRACTICE: SKILLS FOR BETTER LIVING BEHA’ALOSCHA – RELATIVE PATIENCE

Even in their 80s,
siblings don’t always
get along.
At the end of the
parshah, Miriam and
Aharon speak lashon hara about their
brother, Moshe, and are swiftly struck
with tzara’as. Although the verses only
explicitly mention Miriam’s punishment,
Chazal say that Aharon was afflicted as
well (Shabbos 97a).
Strangely, in between the account of the
siblings’ gossip and their punishment,
the Torah interjects the following
description of Moshe: “And this man,
Moshe, was exceedingly humble, more
than any person on the face of the earth”
(Bamidbar 12:3). This verse is the basis
for the widely-used epithet “anav m’kol
adam” in reference to Moshe Rabbeinu.
While certainly a fitting characterization,
what does Moshe’s humility have to do
with the incident of Miriam and Aharon’s
lashon hara? Why does the Torah insert
this descriptor in the middle of the

narrative as though it is part of the story?
The Ramban suggests that this phrase
reveals a remarkable dimension of
the episode – one not often discussed.
After reporting the derogatory words of
Miriam and Aharon, the Torah subtly
hints that Moshe was actually present
throughout their conversation! The fact
that there is no recorded response from
Moshe is not indicative of his absence,
but a demonstration of his profound
humility. Surely there were plenty of valid
defenses or sharp retorts that he could
have offered, but instead he absorbed the
criticism and allowed Hashem to respond
on his behalf. This, explains the Ramban,
is the relevance and greatness of Moshe’s
humility.
Rabbi Baruch HaLevi Epstein zt”l (in
Tosefes Beracha) adds that this praise
takes on even greater significance
when considering that the offenders
were Moshe’s own siblings. Remaining
patient and composed at the office or
on the subway is hardly the ultimate

challenge. It would take
either an unusually volatile
personality or an extreme
provocation for someone
to lash out at co-workers
or complete strangers. But
within the familiarity of
one’s home, even minor
annoyances can trigger a
disproportionately harsh
response. Often, the people
we love most receive
the least patience and
understanding.
Even a person with tremendous humility
and self-control might have struggled to
remain silent in the face of blatant and
unjustified criticism from close family
members; Moshe was on another level.
He was not merely humble when dealing
with most people – he was “anav m’kol
adam.” Rabbi Epstein notes that this
phrase is usually translated as “more
humble than all people,” but could also be
understood as “humble in the presence

of all people” – even those whom people
tend to take for granted. Where others
would have lashed out at family, Moshe
remained in control.
Attaining the heights of Moshe’s humility
may be beyond us. But by recognizing
our tendency to become more impatient
with the people closest to us, we can at
least strive to show a little more patience
and understanding to those who deserve
it most.