15 Sep PARSHA IN PRACTICE: SKILLS FOR BETTER LIVING SHABBOS SHUVAH: A COMPLETE CURE

What is the secret
to making lasting
resolutions?
In the first responsive
line of Avinu
Malkeinu, we ask Hashem to help us
do “teshuvah sheleimah,” complete
repentance. The addition of that
descriptor, sheleimah, makes it sound
like there is another type of teshuvah –
one that is “incomplete” – which we do
not want. And here I was thinking that
one can either repent or not. What would
incomplete teshuvah look like? And, by
contrast, what is the teshuvah sheleimah
which we all are trying to achieve?
Rav Avraham Yitzchak HaKohen Kook
zt”l explained this phrase by looking at the
very next sentence in Avinu Malkeinu, in
which we ask Hashem to deliver a “refuah
sheleimah” to those who are ill. Here too,
we are left with the impression that there
is also an incomplete form of healing
which we do not want. But in this case, the
difference between the two types is more
intuitive. A partial healing is one that

only addresses the symptoms, leaving the
underlying malady untreated. Surely, no
patient would want “band-aid” medical
care which does not target the root of
the disease; that would be an incomplete
healing. We don’t ask Hashem to help the
sick seem better temporarily; we beg Him
to actually cure them – completely.
Similarly, Rav Kook explained, there is
a partial form of teshuvah where only
the external symptoms of aveiros are
addressed. Perhaps a negative behavior
can be suppressed or an urge stifled – but
those would be mere “band-aid” solutions.
The problem may appear to subside, but
is sure to resurface before long, returning
to our “teshuvah wishlist” year after year.
This is the incomplete rehabilitation we
are hoping to avoid.
Instead, we are striving for teshuvah
sheleimah, the process which entails
searching for the underlying causes of
undesired behaviors. Re-examining our
social environments, thought patterns,
and emotional needs is the only way to
truly deal with the mistakes and bad

habits we wish to remedy. It is no easy
feat; meaningful change rarely is. This is
why we ask Hashem to help us.
With this discrepancy in mind, we
can begin to understand why New
Year’s resolutions – of both Alef Tishrei
and January 1st – are notoriously
unsuccessful and unsustainable. We
are able to correctly identify certain
actions or relationships we would like
to improve, but fail to pinpoint or treat
their underlying causes.
For example, it is not enough to simply
commit to speaking less lashon hara.
To treat the concern “completely,” one
would need to analyze his or her personal
triggers and vulnerabilities in this area.
Questions to ask at this stage may include:
With whom do I tend to gossip? Are
there certain people, in particular, that
I take pleasure in maligning? Is there
a certain social environment or online
platform which I frequent that makes it
hard to resist partaking in juicy topics of
conversation? Exploring honest answers
to these inquiries is the true foundation of

meaningful and lasting change.
So, this is the big question we need to ask
ourselves during this season of growth
and change: Are our resolutions for the
coming year just “band-aids,” or do they
completely treat the core of each issue?
May Hashem help us achieve teshuvah
sheleimah and earn a g’mar chasimah
tovah!