18 Nov PARSHA IN PRACTICE: SKILLS FOR BETTER LIVING TOLDOS – SEEING RED

What we notice
about others can be
“soup-er” revealing
about ourselves!
A common misconception is that
Eisav was known as “Edom” (red) due
to the ruddy skin tone with which he
was born (Bereishis 25:25). However,
the Torah explicitly says otherwise.
It was not until 15 years later, when
he referred to Yaakov’s lentil soup as
“the very red stuff,” that Eisav earned
this national name in perpetuity (ibid.
25:30).
But why would this be? Shouldn’t his
congenital, reddish appearance be more
of a defining feature than his choice of
words one time in conversation?
The Kli Yakar answers that, in those
days, it was not considered unusual for
a baby to be born with a bloody hue.
Chazal even list this condition among
the common illnesses that would

warrant delaying a bris milah (Shabbos
134a). For that reason, Eisav’s shade of
color at birth was not unique enough
to label him at that time.
However, the Kli Yakar continues,
Eisav’s description of the soup as “the
red stuff ” was very telling. The pot
undoubtedly contained numerous
ingredients, and the stew must have
had a name that Eisav knew. Why, of
all things, would he identify the dish
by its color? The fact that this element
of the food stood out to Eisav was a
reflection that he, internally, defined
himself by his reddish appearance. It
was the identification with his bloody
complexion that led him – perhaps
unconsciously – to “see red” wherever
he went. It was only when Eisav
demonstrated that he identified others
by a red color that it became clear to
all that he characterized himself by this
same feature as well. Therefore, it was
only now that people began to call him
Edom.
In psychology, this phenomenon
is known as “projection.” Without
realizing it, people often “project” a bit
of themselves – their identity, feelings,
and values – onto other people or
situations. This is the idea behind the
famous “Rorschach Inkblot Test,” in
which two people can look at the same
image but see completely different
things. What they see can reveal
something significant about who they
are.
The same is true in everyday life. The
traits we notice most in others often
reflect what matters most to us. The
judgments we make, the labels we use,
and even the compliments we give all
say something about our inner world.
If we pay attention to what catches our
eye – or what gets under our skin – we
can learn a lot about our own values,
fears, and hopes.

So take a moment of honest reflection.
What kinds of faults do you tend to
spot in others? What motives do you
assume when someone annoys you?
What traits do you most admire? These
patterns are mirrors, showing us truths
that our conscious minds might rather
avoid.
After all, human beings are even more
complex than a pot of lentil soup;
sometimes, what we choose to “see”
in others says far more about us than
about them.
So…What color do you see?