26 Oct PARSHAS CHAYEI SARAH: “THEY WERE ALL EQUALLY GOOD”

The parsha
begins with the
pasuk, “Sarah’s
lifetime was one
hundred years,
and twenty years,
and seven years;
the years of Sarah’s life.” [Bereishis
23:1]. Rashi comments on the strange
construction of this pasuk, and in particular
on the seemingly redundant phrase, “the
years of Sarah’s life” at the end of the
pasuk. Rashi explains, “They were all
equal for goodness.” In other words, she
lived a life that was good from beginning
to end.
Let us ask ourselves, what is the meaning
of the statement that all her years were
equally good? Sarah was childless for
ninety years. In addition, the Medrash
calculates that her cousins all gave birth
when they were eight years old. It must
have been very painful for Sarah to desire
children and not be able to conceive for all
those years — the bulk of her life.
Furthermore, she brought Hagar into her
home as a co-wife. In Hebrew, a co-wife
is called a “tzarah” (which also means
trouble) because that is what it is! The
tension between co-wives is much stronger
than that of sibling rivalry. Ultimately,
the situation with Yishmael became
intolerable. She sees Yishmael trying
to influence Yitzchak towards foreign
cultures. She experiences a touch of tzaar
gidul banim [the pain of raising children].
On top of all that, she partnered with
Avraham in many of his nisyonos [trials].
She accompanied him on the journey
away from her birthplace and homeland.
She followed him down to Egypt and
was kidnapped there into Pharaoh’s
palace. Later she had a similar traumatic
experience with Avimelech.
Where does the realization of “they were
all equal for goodness” come into play?
Perhaps the final years of her life were
tranquil, but overall she had a very bitter
and traumatic life. What is Rashi talking
about?
I heard a beautiful Torah insight on this
question from the current Tolner Rebbe of
Jerusalem. He cites a Medrash in Parshas
Emor. The Torah says “And you shall take
for yourselves the fruit of a beautiful tree
(pri etz hadar)…” [Vayikra 23:40]. The
Medrash says the word hadar [beautiful]
refers to Sarah as it says “and Avraham and
Sarah were elderly” [Bereishis 18:11] for
HaKadosh Baruch Hu made her beautiful
with elderly beauty (seivah tova).
The Maharzu, a commentary on the
Medrash, notes that this pasuk in Vayera
seems to be a very inappropriate link to
the pasuk regarding the Esrog. After all,
the entirety of the pasuk reads, “Now
Avraham and Sarah were old, well on in
years; the course of women had ceased
to be with Sarah.” Out of all the pesukim
in the Torah, why is this pasuk used to
marshal proof that Sarah was beautiful,
comparable to a lovely Esrog? This pasuk
itself alludes to the fact that Sarah had a
very tough life. (She had already gone
through natural menopause while she was
still childless.) Furthermore, how is Sarah
like an Esrog?
The Tolner Rebbe offers the following
insight, based on a teaching of the former
Slonimer Rebbe.
The Talmud [Brochos 54a] teaches
that just as it is appropriate to make a
blessing over good happenings, so too
it is appropriate to make a blessing over
bad happenings. This is one of the most
difficult things in life — accepting the bad
along with the good. Not only must we
accept bad happenings, we must actually
be prepared to recite a blessing over them.
This is a very hard spiritual level to reach
— to accept the good and accept the bad
and make a bracha over both!
The source of this idea that we must
make blessings over both the good and
bad is from a combination of pesukim in
Tehillim: “How can I repay Hashem for all
His kindness to me? I will raise the cup
of salvations and the Name of Hashem
I will invoke.” [Tehillim 116:12] and,
just a few pesukim earlier, “The pains of
death encircled me; the confines of the
grave have found me; trouble and sorrow
I would find. Then I would invoke the
Name of Hashem…” [Tehillim 116:2-
3] We see from this that Shem Hashem
Ekra [we must invoke the Name of G-d]
whether we are raising the cup of salvation
or finding trouble and sorrow.
However, the Tolner Rebbe says —
quoting the former Slonimer Rebbe — we
can observe something interesting when
we read this chapter in Tehillim. The pasuk
regarding raising the cup of salvation and
invoking the Name of Hashem is all one
pasuk. When a person has witnessed
salvation, he must immediately make a
l’Chaim! However, the pasuk regarding
bad occurrences in life ends with the
words “troubles and sorrow I will find.”
The words “And I will invoke the Name
of Hashem” do not appear until the next
pasuk. This implies that there is not total
equality between the requirement to bless
G-d for the good and the requirement to
bless Him for the bad. When good occurs,
it is easy to say “Baruch Hashem“; when
times are bad, indeed we must try to say
“Baruch Hashem“, but it is not in the same
pasuk, because that is a very difficult thing
to demand from a person.
However, there are people who reach such
a spiritual level that even in the troubles
that befall them, they see the Hand of G-d
and they see the good therein. In Chapter
11, Yeshaya speaks of the coming of
Mashiach (“A staff will emerge from the
stump of Yishai and a shoot will sprout
from his roots…” At the beginning of
the very next chapter (Chapter 12, the
shortest chapter in all of Yeshaya — only
6 pasukim), the pasuk says, “You will say
on that day, ‘I thank You, Hashem, for You
were angry with me…” To what does “on
that day” refer? It refers to the time after
the coming of Moshiach. The redemption
will finally arrive and we will look back on
2000 years of exile and persecution, from
the destruction of the Bais Hamikdash
to the Spanish Inquisition, to the decrees
of 5408 and 5409, to Chmielnicki to the
pogroms in Europe, to the Cossacks,
and to the Holocaust. Klal Yisrael will
look back and will be able to say on that
day — after the arrival of the Moshiach
— “I thank you, Hashem, for you were
angry with me.” Such a spiritual level is
possible. Somehow, even within the tzara
[trouble] one sees the tova [good].
The Slonimer Rebbe says that now we
understand why the Medrash compares
Sarah to the Pri Etz Hadar (Esrog). Sarah
had a life “that was all equally good.”
This means that despite the fact that she
was barren for 90 years, despite the fact
that she had aggravation with Hagar and
Yishmael, despite her experiences in
Egypt (with Pharaoh) and in Gerar (with
Avimelech), etc., etc., despite all this, in
her mind, they were all equally good years.
She had such a high spiritual level of faith
(Emunah and Bitachon) that in her mind,
they were kulan shavim l’tova.
The Yalkut Shimoni says that the pasuk in
Mishlei [31:10], “A woman of valor who
can find? Far beyond pearls is her value,”
is the eulogy Avraham gave for Sarah.
What did Avraham mean by the expression
“Far beyond pearls is her value”? The
Medrash explains that she waited for 90
years to have a baby. Avraham eulogized,
“this is the type of woman my wife
was”. She had no complaints against the
Almighty. She waited 90 years for a child
but never complained. She saw her entire
life experience as one blessed by G-d.
We might consider what Sarah experienced
and say, “That’s a horrible life.” However,
Sarah did not see it that way. She had the
capacity to see the “tova” in the “ra’ah”.
The Slonimer Rebbe says this is why she
is like an Esrog. The Gemara says that the
Esrog is the only fruit wherein the taste of
the tree and that of its fruit are the same.
The bark of an Esrog tree tastes like and
Esrog itself!
The Slonimer Rebbe says that certainly,
if a person tries taking a bite out of the
bark of an Esrog tree, it will not taste as
good as a ripe Esrog. Nonetheless, in
the “tree”, a person can already taste
the flavor of an Esrog. Even though the
wood is hard and brittle, it contains within
itself a flavor reminiscent of the Esrog
that will grow from it. Sara was like an
Esrog because she too could sense the
connection between the “tree” (i.e., – the
process) and the “fruit” (i.e., – the result).
Sarah saw the connection between all her
trials and tribulations in her life (i.e., – the
process) and the good that befell her (i.e.,
– the result).
This is what Chazal are trying to teach us
by saying, “They were all equally good.”
There are people who are capable of
looking at that which is a bitter life and
saying, “No. It’s all for the good.”
We might think that such people do not
exist in our day and age, but they do
exist. Recently, I made a phone call that
I anticipated being a very difficult call to
make. I know someone who I have had
dealings with five or six times over the last
10 years or so. He is a very nice fellow.
Last week, he married off a son. On the
third day of Sheva Brochos, the son died.
This is a mind-boggling tragedy. The
Seven Days of Marriage Feasting (Shivas
Yemei HaMishteh) turned into Seven Days
of Mourning (Shivas Yemei Aveilus).
I am not that close to the father, but I
do know him. We have had a pleasant
relationship, so I called him. This type
of phone call makes a person wonder,
“What can I possibly say?” I began “Reb
Shmuel, what can I say? There are no
words to utter. It has just been on my mind
the whole week…”
He is not a Rav or a Rosh Yeshiva. He is
just an ordinary businessman. (Obviously,
he is not really so “ordinary.”) He told
me “Reb Yissocher, this is all part of the
puzzle. When Moshiach will come, we are
going to understand all of this. I accept
this as part of the Divine Plan, even though
I do not yet understand exactly what it is
all about.”
I told him “You have strengthened me,
more than I could have possibly hoped to
strengthen you.”
This is what Rashi is saying. “The years of
Sarah were all equally good” means that
Sarah was on such a high spiritual level that
she viewed them as such. Chazal say that a
person should always ask himself, “When
will my deeds be equal to the deeds of my
ancestors?” We need to strive for such
a level. For most of us, this represents a
seemingly unattainable spiritual goal.
We will understand this, hopefully, in the
Days of the Messiah. However, there were
people — and apparently, there are still
people — who can look at life — even a
life full of suffering and misfortune — and
say, “they were all equally good.”