21 Jun PARSHAS SHLACH: KNOWING WHEN NOT TO REACT

Rav Motel Katz, zt”l,

who was the Head of

the Telshe Yeshiva in

Cleveland for many

years, had a very

difficult life. He lost

most of his family in

Europe. He came to

America and had to rebuild not only a

Yeshiva, but his own family as well. The

following poignant vignette describes the

man and his life. Someone once walked into

Rav Motel’s study in the middle of the day

and found him crying. The visitor inquired

as to why he was crying. Rav Motel

explained that he had 10 children in Europe

who were all killed during the Holocaust

and now he was beginning to forget their

names. He began to cry when he could not

remember the names of his own martyred

children. This gives us a picture of the very

difficult personal life that he led. Rabbi

Abba Spero from Cleveland told me an

incident involving Rav Motel Katz. When I

told him that I could not believe that the

incident occurred, he responded that he had

documentary proof of the incident. He sent

me a copy of the incident described by Rav

Motel himself in his own collected writings.

I received permission from the son of Rav

Motel, Rav Yakov Velvel Katz to publicly

relate this incident, which I will in a

moment. The basic idea that Rav Motel

wished to illustrate by documenting this

incident is an idea to which everyone

subscribes. The idea is that there is no ONE

way to raise a child or to educate a student.

Chinuch [education] is a very

individualized and dynamic type of activity.

It is ever changing. There are really no hard

and fast rules. That which works for one

child will not necessarily work for another

child. That which works in one situation

will not necessarily work in another

situation. Parents and educators must

always understand the demands of the

situation. “Sometimes,” Rav Motel writes,

“‘Educating’ requires ‘not Educating’”.

Sometimes a parent or teacher must NOT

react. Even though the situation really

demands that something be said –

sometimes it is counter-productive to react.

This idea is really from the Talmud: “Just as

it is a Mitzvah to say something (rebuke)

which will be heard and accepted, so too it

is a Mitzvah to not say something which

will not be heard and accepted” [Yevamos

65b]. Rav Motel explained that this

principle is illustrated in Parshas Shlach.

The pasuk [verse] says, “Shlach LECHA” –

send out FOR YOURSELF [Bamidbar

13:2]. Rashi explains that Moshe was

instructed to send out the spies “for

your own sake”. In effect Hashem was

telling Moshe, “I know that no good

will come of this. Spies are not

necessary; they will ruin things; they

really should never be sent out… But

if you want to send – then you go

ahead and send them to satisfy your

needs.” Rav Motel asks, if it was so

clear that this was not the way to

proceed and that the mission had all

the markings of a disaster, then why

didn’t Hashem say straight out “Do

not send the Spies!”? Forget the

people’s clamoring and yelling that

they DO want spies; if it was clear to

Hashem that it was a bad idea then He

should have forbid them from sending out

spies! He could have told the people,

“Sorry. I am Hashem. I know better!” The

answer, says Rav Motel, is that the people

were not on the spiritual level where they

were ready to hear that. It would not have

helped. Moshe could have given the people

that message from Hashem but they were

not spiritually sophisticated enough to

appreciate the message. They would have

countered, “What do you mean that we are

not sending spies? Everyone knows that the

way to conquer a country is by sending

spies and gathering intelligence!” Under

such circumstances, there was no other

choice but to let them have their way.

Objections would fall on deaf ears.

Anyone who has a child who is older

than a toddler and certainly anyone

who has adolescents or older children

will understand this concept. Often, we

as parents know what is good and what

is right, but we know that our children

will not listen to us. Sometimes, as

difficult as this is for a parent, we must

simply keep quiet. We can hint or

suggest or perhaps provide incentives.

But in the final analysis, our children

have to make the decision themselves.

It sometimes just does not help to say

anything. This was the situation with

the Spies. The ‘right’ thing to do would

have been to tell the Children of Israel

‘No Spies’! But that approach would

not have worked. The incident that Rav

Motel related occurred at the Telshe

Yeshiva in Cleveland [presumably

sometime in the 1950s]. The incident,

which was an applied example of the

above lesson, was as follows: “I was

asked by the students of the Yeshiva to

permit them to daven Ma’ariv [conduct

evening prayers] early. They requested

that the established schedule of the

Yeshiva be changed for the evening.

Why did they wish to change the

Yeshiva’s prayer schedule? So that

they could listen on the radio to the

Championship Prize Fight in New

York to hear who wins.” Imagine if

students came to the Rosh Yeshiva

[Dean] today to ask that the Yeshiva

prayer times be changed because of the

NBA Playoffs!! Rav Motel explained:

“I knew full well that it was

inappropriate to change the time of

Ma’ariv and the Yeshiva’s schedule

for a Heavyweight Prize Fight between

people who are trained to hurt and

injure one another.” But what did this

great product of Lithuanian Yeshivas —

this product of Telshe in Europe — decide

to do? What did Rav Motel respond to the

request to daven Ma’ariv early so they could

listen to the fight on the radio? “I could not

stop them and prohibit them from doing

this. I knew that this was not the time to say

no. Famous and respected people come

from all over the country to be present at a

Heavyweight Championship Fight, to get

ringside seats. A thousand people come

from all parts of the country! This prizefight

was viewed by the masses as an event of

major proportions! It is difficult to forbid it.

I could not say no because they would not

know where I was coming from and they

would not understand my reasoning.” The

majority of students in the Telshe yeshiva in

the 1940s and 1950s came from public

schools. They came to Telshe from small

isolated communities. High level Torah

study was just beginning to take root in

America. They had not achieved the

spiritual level whereby they could

understand the idea that watching two

people hitting each other in a boxing ring is

a foolish pastime. To get up in the Yeshiva

and castigate such activity as stupidity and

nonsense would fall on deaf ears. Rav Motel

could not consider what his teachers in

Europe would think about changing the

time of Ma’ariv to accommodate such an

event, because he knew that HIS students

were not at the level of his teacher’s

students. His students at that time were not

ready to fully appreciate priorities based on

Torah values. That is Chinuch: Knowing

when to say and when not to say —

knowing one’s children and one’s students

and knowing the time and the mentality

prevalent in the era in which one is teaching.

That is Chinuch! In the great Yeshiva of

Telshe, ‘Chinuch’ in that situation was to

schedule Ma’ariv early so that the students

could listen to a prizefight on the radio. I

would not have believed this story if I had

not seen it written by Rav Motel himself.

This is a great tribute to the pedagogic

wisdom of Rav Motel Katz, zt”l. It is a

tremendous insight into the meaning of

being an educator or a father or a Rebbi or a

Rosh Yeshiva. Sometimes it is necessary to

say “Yes”. But sometimes it is just

necessary to not say anything at all! This is

what we pray for when we recite the prayer

(in Shmoneh Esrei, the Amidah) for wisdom

and understanding. We are asking Hashem

to grant us the wisdom to do what is right in

the education of our children, our students

and our community.