19 Mar PURIM: KNOWING WHEN TO KEEP QUIET

The Megillah introduces
Mordechai as an Ish Yehudi
and also as an Ish Yemini.
The Gemara explains this
to mean that from his
mother’s side, Mordechai
descended from the tribe of
Yehudah, and from his father’s side, he
descended from the tribe of Binyamin. And
so he is called both an Ish Yehudi and an Ish
Yemini – a man from the tribe of Yehudah
and also from the tribe of Binyamin.
Why is this significant? Why do we need to
know that Mordechai descended from both
these tribes?
One commentator answered that this is
important because Mordechai had a special
quality – he knew how to blend the
characteristic of Yehudah and the
characteristic of Binyamin
Yehudah excelled in leadership, in
communication. When he made a mistake,
he spoke up and admitted he did something
wrong. When the family was in crisis,
Yehudah stepped up and took responsibility
for his younger brother, speaking to Yosef as
a strong, capable leader.

Binyamin, however, excelled in silence.
The Torah does not once tell us anything that
Binyamin ever said. And his mother, Rachel,
kept silent when her sister was being brought
in her place to marry Yaakov, in order not to
embarrass her. Mordechai’s ancestor, King
Shaul, also from the tribe of Binyamin,
learned that he was being anointed as king,
and he kept quiet about it, not saying a word.
Mordechai was an Ish Yehudi and an Ish
Yemini. He understood the importance of
maintaining this balance – that sometimes
we need to speak, and sometimes we need to
keep silent.
When Ester was brought to the king’s
palace, Mordechai gave her strict
instructions, to keep silent about her
background. He realized that this is what she
needed to do. But when it came time for
Ester to speak up, after Haman issued his
edict, Mordechai urged her to speak.
This is the balance we need to maintain –
knowing when to speak, and when to remain
silent.
There are many reasons why this quality, of
not talking too much, is so vital and so
valuable.

For one thing, when we train ourselves to
keep quiet, we become accustomed to
thinking before speaking. The less we talk,
the more we think – and the more we think,
the more intelligently we speak and act.
Additionally, when we talk too much, we
are bound to make fools out of ourselves.
Keeping quiet significantly lowers the
chances of saying something foolish and
silly, and embarrassing ourselves. And, when
we keep quiet, we appear more composed,
more dignified, more intelligent, and more
confident.
Another reason to limit our talking is that it
helps us show concern and sensitivity. If we
are always talking, then we are not listening.
In order to show somebody that we care, we
need to be able to patiently and quietly listen
to what the person has to say, without
jumping in to talk about ourselves.
And, when we listen instead of talk, we
open our minds to new ideas and new
opinions. People who talk excessively are
often closed-minded, uninterested in hearing
other people’s viewpoints or insights. By
keeping quiet, we are able to hear what
people have to say, and this is how we
become smarter and more intelligent.

The Purim miracle happened because a
courageous, humble and wise woman had
the strength to remain silent, until she needed
to speak – and when she did, she was listened
to, precisely because she had kept quiet.
When Ester finally came before Ahashverosh
and spoke, he was eager to hear what she had
to say, and this ended up saving the Jews.
Let us learn from her example, and strive to
maintain this delicate balance, to know when
we need to speak, and when we need not to.