02 Apr SHEMINI: DESTINED

Even when a person
harms himself due to a
wrong decision, he
should believe that
what happened was
bashert. Hashem
placed in his mind to
make that choice, so it is
for the best.
A couple was delighted
with the home they had
just bought in Monsey
because the location and
the price were better than
they expected to find.
They rushed through the
closing process, and on
the first night after the purchase, they invited
their family for a chanukas habayis.
The next morning, they saw in the local paper
that another home was put up for sale, just
around the corner from the one they bought –
and it was being sold for a much better price!
Now they regretted rushing to buy this house.
They kept on telling themselves, “If we had
bought that other house, we would have saved
so much money.”
This man knew that if anyone could give him
chizuk it was his rebbe, Reb Mordechai Shwab
zt’l (brother of the renowned Reb Shimon
Shwab zt’l).
Reb Mordechai told him the following story:
“Reb Eliyahu Dessler zt’l once told me about
a shidduch he arranged and that he regretted

making that shidduch. He told me all the
details, and then he concluded, ‘But what
happened was bashert. It was destined that I
should make this mistake!’” Because even
when we harm ourselves due to unwise
choices, that was also planned and prearranged
in heaven. It is Hashem’s plan, and it is for our
good.
Reb Mordechai added, “I’m certain you
bought the house that was bashert for you. My
proof is that you only learned about the other
house a day after you bought yours. Why
didn’t you hear about it earlier? Because you
were destined to buy your house! There’s no
reason for regrets.”
Rebbe Yechezkel of Kuzmir zy”a taught that a
person takes thousands of steps each day, and
one must believe that every step was destined
from heaven. If one doesn’t believe this, then
in the morning when he recites, Hameichin
Mitzadei Gaver, “Who prepares the steps of
man,” it is a brachah l’vatalah (a brachah said
in vain). This means that every step and move
and decision we make is destined, arranged,
and planned by Hashem.
Sometimes we go somewhere, and things
don’t work out the way we planned, and we
wish we never went there. Nevertheless, there
is no reason for regret. Hashem is Hameichin
Mitzadei Gaver. Hashem sent you there. It is
where you had to go.
Imagine a king asking someone to go to a
foreign country to perform a mission. The
person is loyal to the king, and he is happy to

do this mission. He readies himself for the
trip, but when he comes to the port, he sees the
ship departing. He missed boarding the ship

by a minute. The next boat will be in a half-
year.

He will have to travel by foot through forests
and by horse and buggy through long roads.
The trip will take months.
He is very disappointed that he came late to the
port, and he feels that the long trip isn’t part of
serving the king. It is something that could
have been avoided.
But had the king told him from the onset that
he should travel by land and not by sea, he
wouldn’t be upset with the long route. He
would be happy that he is carrying out the
king’s wishes.
We must know that wherever we go and
whatever happens to us, it is bashert. The King
sent you there. This is what Hashem wanted.
With this awareness, there is no room for
regret.
Rebbe Chaim of Tzernovitz zy”a, author of
Be’er Mayim Chaim, repeated a divine vision
he saw one Friday night.
Many neshamos stood before the beis din in
heaven. The beis din just informed them that
they must return to the world as gilgulim. The
neshamos complained, “We go down to the
world, fail in our mission, and then we are sent
back down to the world. This cycle keeps on
repeating itself. What is the purpose? What
will be with us? We don’t want to go to the
world again. We will probably fail this time

around, too.”
The court couldn’t answer, so they went to a
higher beis din and an even higher beis din, but
they didn’t know how to respond either.
Finally, the neshamos placed their plea before
Hashem Yisbarach, Himself. Hashem told
them, “Go down to the world. This time will
be different. Hashem’s presence has become
very concealed in the world, and therefore,
when you do bad, the punishment is less severe
because the court understands the difficulty of
your test. And when you do good, your reward
is immense because you chose good despite
the concealment.
“But there is one thing you must avoid. If you
are cautious with this matter, you have nothing
to fear. You must never say, ‘I should have…’ If
you avoid saying those words, you will only
gain by going back to Olam Hazeh.”
This is what we must learn. We have to stop
saying, “I should have.” Don’t say, “I should
have gone there.” “I should have been more
careful with that.” “I should have invested in
that stock.” Because everything is for the
good, and even what you do to yourself due to
your choices are also for the best.
If you avoid saying “I should have…”, you
passed the test of this world.