Have Questions or Comments?
Leave us some feedback and we'll reply back!

    Your Name (required)

    Your Email (required)

    Phone Number)

    In Reference to

    Your Message


    Even when a person
    harms himself due to a
    wrong decision, he
    should believe that
    what happened was
    bashert. Hashem
    placed in his mind to
    make that choice, so it is
    for the best.
    A couple was delighted
    with the home they had
    just bought in Monsey
    because the location and
    the price were better than
    they expected to find.
    They rushed through the
    closing process, and on
    the first night after the purchase, they invited
    their family for a chanukas habayis.
    The next morning, they saw in the local paper
    that another home was put up for sale, just
    around the corner from the one they bought –
    and it was being sold for a much better price!
    Now they regretted rushing to buy this house.
    They kept on telling themselves, “If we had
    bought that other house, we would have saved
    so much money.”
    This man knew that if anyone could give him
    chizuk it was his rebbe, Reb Mordechai Shwab
    zt’l (brother of the renowned Reb Shimon
    Shwab zt’l).
    Reb Mordechai told him the following story:
    “Reb Eliyahu Dessler zt’l once told me about
    a shidduch he arranged and that he regretted

    making that shidduch. He told me all the
    details, and then he concluded, ‘But what
    happened was bashert. It was destined that I
    should make this mistake!’” Because even
    when we harm ourselves due to unwise
    choices, that was also planned and prearranged
    in heaven. It is Hashem’s plan, and it is for our
    Reb Mordechai added, “I’m certain you
    bought the house that was bashert for you. My
    proof is that you only learned about the other
    house a day after you bought yours. Why
    didn’t you hear about it earlier? Because you
    were destined to buy your house! There’s no
    reason for regrets.”
    Rebbe Yechezkel of Kuzmir zy”a taught that a
    person takes thousands of steps each day, and
    one must believe that every step was destined
    from heaven. If one doesn’t believe this, then
    in the morning when he recites, Hameichin
    Mitzadei Gaver, “Who prepares the steps of
    man,” it is a brachah l’vatalah (a brachah said
    in vain). This means that every step and move
    and decision we make is destined, arranged,
    and planned by Hashem.
    Sometimes we go somewhere, and things
    don’t work out the way we planned, and we
    wish we never went there. Nevertheless, there
    is no reason for regret. Hashem is Hameichin
    Mitzadei Gaver. Hashem sent you there. It is
    where you had to go.
    Imagine a king asking someone to go to a
    foreign country to perform a mission. The
    person is loyal to the king, and he is happy to

    do this mission. He readies himself for the
    trip, but when he comes to the port, he sees the
    ship departing. He missed boarding the ship

    by a minute. The next boat will be in a half-

    He will have to travel by foot through forests
    and by horse and buggy through long roads.
    The trip will take months.
    He is very disappointed that he came late to the
    port, and he feels that the long trip isn’t part of
    serving the king. It is something that could
    have been avoided.
    But had the king told him from the onset that
    he should travel by land and not by sea, he
    wouldn’t be upset with the long route. He
    would be happy that he is carrying out the
    king’s wishes.
    We must know that wherever we go and
    whatever happens to us, it is bashert. The King
    sent you there. This is what Hashem wanted.
    With this awareness, there is no room for
    Rebbe Chaim of Tzernovitz zy”a, author of
    Be’er Mayim Chaim, repeated a divine vision
    he saw one Friday night.
    Many neshamos stood before the beis din in
    heaven. The beis din just informed them that
    they must return to the world as gilgulim. The
    neshamos complained, “We go down to the
    world, fail in our mission, and then we are sent
    back down to the world. This cycle keeps on
    repeating itself. What is the purpose? What
    will be with us? We don’t want to go to the
    world again. We will probably fail this time

    around, too.”
    The court couldn’t answer, so they went to a
    higher beis din and an even higher beis din, but
    they didn’t know how to respond either.
    Finally, the neshamos placed their plea before
    Hashem Yisbarach, Himself. Hashem told
    them, “Go down to the world. This time will
    be different. Hashem’s presence has become
    very concealed in the world, and therefore,
    when you do bad, the punishment is less severe
    because the court understands the difficulty of
    your test. And when you do good, your reward
    is immense because you chose good despite
    the concealment.
    “But there is one thing you must avoid. If you
    are cautious with this matter, you have nothing
    to fear. You must never say, ‘I should have…’ If
    you avoid saying those words, you will only
    gain by going back to Olam Hazeh.”
    This is what we must learn. We have to stop
    saying, “I should have.” Don’t say, “I should
    have gone there.” “I should have been more
    careful with that.” “I should have invested in
    that stock.” Because everything is for the
    good, and even what you do to yourself due to
    your choices are also for the best.
    If you avoid saying “I should have…”, you
    passed the test of this world.