25 Apr SOULS CONNECTING: A REFLECTION FROM THE DEE SHIVA

How does one feel so
profoundly connected
to someone they never
met, they had never
spoken to, they had
never even heard of?
At the heartbreaking funeral for his two
daughters, Maia and Rina H”yd, who were
brutally murdered by Palestinian Arab
terrorists, Rav Leo Dee mentioned my
name and that he drew strength from
listening to our shul’s shiurim on Emunah.
When I watched the funeral and heard him
say those words for myself, I was
overwhelmed with emotion by a feeling of
closeness to this man and I burst into tears.
As I went online to book a ticket to Israel,
it wasn’t that I actively decided to travel
on behalf of our community to pay a shiva
call to Rav Leo and his children, it was
that I simply could not stay away. Two
days later, at the funeral for his wife Lucy
Lee H”yd who had succumbed to her
wounds, once again, Rav Leo quoted a
thought from one of our shiurim. This
solidified my decision to go to Israel for a
day, but I was still puzzled trying to
understand what was compelling me to go.
Certainly, representing BRS in an effort
to communicate comfort, love, loyalty,
unity, sympathy and faith were
justifications enough. But that would
apply to every tragic terror event in our
holy homeland and yet I had not previously
been moved to jump on a plane before.
What was different this time? Was it my
ego, a sense of honor and pride that he
acknowledged me so publicly at such a
vulnerable moment? It continued to gnaw
at me.
After landing, I made my way to the
shiva house where I had coordinated to
meet my dear friend and colleague, Rabbi
Shay Schachter. Several people who had
attended Shiva told Rabbi Schachter that
Rav Leo was quoting him and referencing
how much he loved listening to his classes,
too. Rabbi Schachter was also moved to
come meet this special man in person and
so we coordinated to arrive and visit
together.
With thousands of people coming from
all over Israel to offer comfort, strength
and love, the Dee family sat shiva in a tent
in their backyard. Holy volunteers
carefully conducted crowd control, turning
over all those assembled in the tent every
few minutes. When we arrived, we were
invited to come into the tent before it
opened to the public. Rav Leo was there,

but before we could meet, the Yom
HaShoah siren blasted throughout Israel
and everything screeched to a halt,
everyone standing still, taking exactly two
minutes to honor and daven for the
memory of the six million kedoshim, the
martyrs of the Holocaust. In that silence, I
couldn’t help but think that these two
tragedies were really one and the same.
As we just sang on Pesach, bechol dor
va’dor omdimm aleinu l’chaloseinu, in
every generation they rise against us to
destroy us.
That siren at that moment was not just
paying tribute to the six million but it was
wailing for the three fresh graves that had
just been filled, and it was crying out for
every Jewish life and light that has been
extinguished in our history by enemies
that have sought to eliminate us. But as
the wail of the siren was accompanied by
the sound of birds chirping, my eyes were
drawn to the view from the tent of the
magnificent Judean hills and I was struck
by the notion that as much as the
martyrdom of the Holocaust and the
murder of Lucy, Maia and Rina had in
common, there was a profound,
fundamental difference between them.
The Holocaust was perpetrated against a
defenseless Jewish people, strangers in a
foreign land, while the Dees had died al
kiddush Hashem in the one and only
Jewish homeland, under Jewish
sovereignty, under the protection of a
strong Jewish army and with the promise
that those that perpetrated this heinous act
would be brought to justice and that we
will never leave these hills or this land.
The siren concluded and Rav Leo came
directly over to us. No words were
exchanged as we embraced and held onto
a meaningful hug that will last a lifetime.
We sat directly in front of the mourners as
Rav Leo took the microphone, a necessity
so that all who had now packed the tent
could hear all he had to say. He thanked us
for coming and said, I have been listening
to Rav Efrem and Rav Shay’s shiurim for
ten years. For a decade I quote them at my
Shabbos table and share their divrei Torah
with friends. He shared a few more
thoughts, and once again thanked us for
the countless hours of Torah learning
together.
Hearing him speak, it became absolutely
clear. It was true that our guf, our bodies
had never met, but I now understood that
our souls have been talking and connecting
and singing together for many years and
my soul was craving to be with its good

friend and chavrusa at this painful time.
That night, Rav Shlomo Katz invited us
to join his Efrat community, which was
collectively struggling with this horrific
tragedy, for a night of chizuk and to share
a few thoughts. I hope our words resonated
and offered comfort but for me, the most
moving parts of the night were not when
people were speaking but when souls were
singing. Every chair in the room had a
physical body in it, but it was the chorus
and connection of neshamos that sang
together at the beginning, in the middle,
and at the end of the night that gave the
greatest chizuk.
There are so many powerful moments
and poignant lessons from this
extraordinary day with an extraordinary
family and community that I take home
with me. As I continue to process them I
look forward to sharing further reflections.
But as I traveled back to Boca, there is one
thought in particular that jumped out at
me. If Rav Leo’s wife and two daughters
had not been murdered, would we have
ever met in person? Would I ever come to
know that we had been learning together
all along? Would I ever discover the
impact of the ideas we are privileged to
share?
While not everyone publishes Torah
shiurim online, all of our neshamos are
connected with our brothers and sisters in
ways we don’t realize or fully appreciate.
There may be a Jew halfway around the
world you do not know who is living a
more inspired life today because she once
crossed paths with you in an airport and
saw the way you patiently spoke with the
airline staff during a delay. There could be
someone learning more Torah every day
because he read an article about a learning
group you are part of and was motivated to
do more. There may well be a Jew
somewhere whose name you don’t
recognize but who saw your name on a
program you sponsored, or a cause you
supported, who now supports that same
program or cause. We may not ever meet
these people physically but we must
appreciate they are out there and recognize
that every single positive action we do
potentially builds a new relationship with
another holy neshama.
Rav Leo spent shiva challenging us to
leave our comfort zone, to extend
ourselves to others, to become better
people, and to change the world together.
At davening on Shabbos, he stopped the
chazzan before kedusha to offer an

interpretation and charge to all who had
gathered. Kadosh, kadosh, kadosh,
Hashem Tzevakos melo chol ha’aretz
kevodo. Kadosh Lucy, Kadosh Maia,
Kadosh Rina, the three of them are now
kedoshim, they have died al kiddush
Hashem. Now, in their memory, in their
merit, we carry on their mission of melo
chol ha’aretz kvodo, filling Hashem’s
whole world with His glory, His teachings
and His value.
Every day I wake up and feel beyond
blessed to have the greatest and most
fulfilling job in the world. There is no
greater privilege and nothing more
gratifying than sharing Hashem’s Torah
and teachings. It turns out there was a Jew
6,000 miles away who was listening,
enjoying, and drawing inspiration for a
decade without my ever knowing it or
knowing him.
Regardless of our full-time formal
position, every single one of us is a teacher
and influencer and there are people
watching, listening and observing what we
say and do. We have no idea if we daven
intensely or learn diligently or volunteer
generously who will impact, who will
seek to emulate us, who might be
transformed without our ever knowing it.
Indeed, by emulating the Kedoshim, the
three beautiful Dee souls who can no
longer bring glory to Hashem’s name in
this world, we have the ability to melo
chol ha’aretz kvodo – we can literally
connect with and fill the entire world with
His glory without realizing it. Appreciate
the impact you can have on other
neshamos, the connections we all share,
and the difference you can make in
someone’s life.