15 Mar STANDING AT THE GATE

The Megillah mentions on several occasions that Mordechai sat ךלמה†רעשב– “at the king’s gate.” Apparently, he would frequently sit by the gate to the king’s palace. But we must wonder why the Megillah found it necessary to repeat this point numerous times. Why is it significant that Mordechai regularly sat specifically there, by the ךלמה†רעש†Righteous people always see themselves as though they’re at the “gate” of the King, on the way to achieving closeness to Hashem, but not quite there. They never feel ready to stop growing and improving. They’re constantly banging on the “gate,” begging Hashem to let them in, to help them move forward and advance. At no point do they feel they’ve done enough, that they’re perfectly fine the way they are in the present, and do not need to work to become better.

This was Mordechai. No matter how great he was, he sat ךלמה†רעשב, “at the gate,” trying to get “inside,” to draw close to Hashem. Even after Haman paraded him through the streets of Sushan, after he was given the greatest honor, the Megillah says, ךלמה†רעש†לא†יכדרמ†בשיו†– Mordechai returned to the gate. Even after achieving the highest levels of greatness, he still sat at the “gate,” seeing himself at only the beginning of the journey, with a long way still to go.

I often speak with parents who are upset that their children are becoming more religiously observant than they are. One of the underlying reasons why they react this way is because they feel perfectly content with who they are, with their level, with the way they live. They assume that their level of observance is perfect, that they are “normal,” and that anyone who does more is “extreme.” We all need to have the humility to acknowledge that no matter how good we are, no matter how proud we should be over all that we do and all we’ve achieved, we are still only at the “gate,” and we still have so much more to accomplish, and so much more to grow.

After the Purim miracle, the Jews didn’t just party. The Megillah says, ולבקו†ומייק

םערז†לעו†םהילע†םידוהיה†(literally, “The Jews fulfilled and accepted upon themselves and upon their offspring…”). The Gemara understands this to mean that the Jews reaffirmed הרותה†תלבק†– their acceptance of the Torah. They understood that if a great miracle happened, if they were saved, this meant that they must act, that they must recommit themselves to Torah, and strive to reach higher. And so they didn’t just celebrate – they made a commitment to be better.

After what was, hopefully, a beautiful, joyous and uplifting Purim, may we all make the commitment to always see ourselves as ךלמה†רעשב†בשוי, as though we are “at the gate,” banging on the door to get in, to move forward, and to grow as people and as Jews.