28 Mar Take The High Road

It’s Saturday night a mere four days after the petirah of our dear dear Chaver, Chaim Ben Kloinimus Kalman Silber z’l ( aka ‘LOBO’) the Amud Hachesed of Klal Yisroel. The shock of his passing, despite his illness, will reverberate in the hearts and minds of everybody he touched and there were literally thousands. His Simchas Hachaim was unparalleled. Everyone who knew him was his best friend and was treated as such.

I remember one of the early Sheva Brochos I attended where Lobo was MC. He was always MC because his charm, personality and showmanship made him a natural choice. He told the story of the farmer celebrating his 50th anniversary on the farm. The animals on the farm wanted to do something extra special for their beloved master. So the cow and the chicken got together and decided to make him a  breakfast of steak and eggs. The difference being that the chicken was involved (she only had to give up a few eggs), but the cow was committed ( she’d have to give up much more to provide the steak). Everything Chaim did he was committed to 110%. By him tzedakah wasn’t merely writing a check, it was the whole nine yards. Every project, every cause, every relationship and friendship got his utmost attention and he would see it through to the end. For those of us fortunate enough to have known him personally enjoy this stroll down memory lane, for those of us who didn’t know him learn from these tales what it means to be a “frum” Yid with an open heart and an open hand.

It’s a week before Purim and there is no better place to start. The ‘Dovy Faivish’ story has gone viral. It is one of thousands of stories I can tell you about Purim in Lobo’s basement on east 23rd street. For years I had the privilege of being one of the gatekeepers in front of his home just to keep some order amongst the throngs of people who showed up.. Weeks before Purim we would get phone calls from groups of boys collecting for various causes. Invariably, hundreds of kids would show up and everybody walked away with a check, a hug and a smile. His nerf basketball hoop was legendary and kids practiced free throws for weeks in advance to double, triple and even earn ten times the amount requested. It was his way of being mechanech children on how to do chesed. Today,there are many homes where significant checks are written on Purim night, but none of them can compare to the ‘event’ that was going by  Lobo’s house every  Purim night.

Following Purim came the Maos Chitim appeal at Sasregen. Over the years many people who davened in Sasregen moved to Long Island, New Jersey, Florida and other places. There was only one person who after he left the neighborhood would call in  for this appeal. His pledge was always the same, he would match whatever R’ Chaim Fortgang called out, but insisted that we call out Chaim Fortgang’s pledge first. He was machshiv R’ Chaim as a friend and talmid chochem and was very makpid on his kovod. He held the Rebbe in such high esteem that he would attend all the Melave Malka’s, daven in Sasregen when he had yahrzheit and buy the Rebbe kibudim on Yomim  Tovim like Chosson Breishis the last several years. You could take the man out of Brooklyn but you couldn’t take Brooklyn out of the man. When Alan Hirsch and I went to tell the Sasregen Rebbe of Chaim’s petirah, the Rebetzin told a story about a young lady going out of town on a date. Lobo told her if she gets engaged he will pay for the wedding and that’s exactly what happened. It was a beautiful, leibedik super nice wedding. I can only imagine how many other Chassanim and Kallahs he had a hand in making their weddings.

Then there was the annual Nachum Segal Radiothon. Every year, despite wanting to shun the spotlight, Chaim would call his closest 1,000 or so friends to make sure they were listening. Early in the morning ( and he wasn’t a morning person) he would drive to Yutzenplutz, New Jersey to lend his good name to the campaign. Invariably, the phones would ring off the hook when Chaim was in the studio. Everybody clamored to donate with Chaim and in his honor. A few years ago after some good joshing, Nachum got Chaim to donate $9,000+ which was way more than he had given before and way more than he intended to give. On the way home he called to tell me he did the right thing, because Nachum was doing right by Klal Yisroel and we have an obligation to support him. I was so moved by his explanation of this tzedakah and what it meant to him.

With everything he was involved with the thing that meant the most to him was summers in Greentree Acres, AKA Loboville. I am not from the rishonim in this bungalow colony so I don’t know all the stories but I can tell you that for the nine summers we spent together he was revered by all- from little kids in strollers to older people in wheelchairs. All you heard was “Lobo, Lobo’ Lobo”. From the Dagwood sandwiches on Thursday nights on Chesky’s porch, to the paddle ball games, to handing out newspapers on Friday, to the beautiful tefilos in shul, to the shiurim, to bringing coffee to Mendy’s porch for Sholosh Seudos, to the Saturday night shows, to buying ice cream for the kinderlach every Sunday morning, to the Sunday morning baseball games where he hired, I mean, recruited the best players possible, to his birthday party, to the derech eretz he showed the collectors who came every Sunday morning and the sizable checks he wrote, to the appeals for Yeshiva of Sullivan county and Hatzoloh,  to the shed on the right side of his summer home which housed the caps, tee shirts, mugs, cover ups, thermoses that he loved to distribute to all comers, to Sunday funday, etc., etc. It was never about him. It was about how could  he make everybody else happy. A few years ago a crop of younger couples joined the Greentree family. They immediately grasped the gadlus of Lobo and the derech eretz they showed him and all the rest of us old timers is a tribute to him.

He showed tremendous derech eretz to his Father A’h and his Mother. I remember at his Father’s levaya how he said the best thing that ever happened to him was that he was born the son of Kalman Silber. He always showed tremendous respect for his Mother and would always visit and call as often as humanly possible. Even last week following treatment and in great pain he made sure to visit his Mother in Brooklyn. Little did he know that would be his last visit .

Sixteen years ago I spent 10 months in beautiful downtown Otisville. During that time I had many people visit. I single handedly broke the record for most rabbinical visits. Every other week I would get a visit from Chaim and his partner R’ Moishe Soltan. While I knew the main reason for their visit was to get in a round of golf in Wallkill, nevertheless the visit always lifted my spirits. What was of particular interest to me was how Lobo would schmooze with the guards and the prison staff. There was no doubt in his mind if he was nice to them they would be nice to me. After one visit, one of the guards said to me, “Rabbi Lobo isn’t really a Rabbi he’s too nice”.

I can continue for hours, but I don’t think Morty would be happy if I went on and on. I want to ask Lobo to be moichel me if I didn’t treat him with the highest respect he deserved. He was an ace, a one of a kind. We should all learn how to do mitzvos, how to give tzedakah, how to love your fellow man from this giant.

On behalf of the Admor M’Sasregen Shlita, the Rav Hatzair, the Greentree family and all your friends, those that we are aware of and those that we aren’t, we want to extend our condolences to Eva, Mrs. Silber, Donny, Malkey, Esther, Sasha, Cookie, Nathan, Yanky, Perele, Moishie , Esther, Selena, Lenny,  and the entire Silber family. We can’ t imagine the tremendous loss to your family. He will always be in our hearts and our minds, reminding us to always 

TAKE THE HIGH ROAD!