28 Dec TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR CHILDREN
TRANSFORMATION OF A BROTHER
Joseph could not contain his tears, nor can we, when we read each year the story of how after a feud and separation that endured for twenty-two years, the Prime Minister of Egypt, Joseph, reveals his true identity to his brothers who once attempted to kill him and sold him into slavery.
No less moving is the speech—nay, ballad—presented by Judah, compelling Joseph to reveal himself to his brothers.
We are familiar with the story: After having his silver goblet placed in his brother Benjamin’s saddlebag, Joseph accuses him of theft and claims Benjamin the “thief” as his slave. Judah, approaches the viceroy of Egypt, unknowing that this was Joseph, and explains to him that there was no way he could return to his aging father Jacob without young Benjamin.
The Torah transcribes Judah’s exact presentation, the longest in all of Genesis:
“And now if I come to your servant, my father, and the lad [Benjamin] is not with us, and his soul is so bound up with his soul, when he will see that the lad is gone, he will die. And your servants will have brought down the hoariness of your servant our father in sorrow to the grave.
“Because your servant [Judah] took responsibility for the lad [Benjamin] from my father, saying, ‘If I do not bring him to you, then I will have sinned to my father, for all time.’
“Now, please let your servant [Judah] remain in the place of the lad as a servant to my lord, and let the lad go up with his brothers…”
Twenty-two years earlier, the same Judah said to his brothers, “What will we gain if we kill our brother [Joseph] and cover his blood? Let’s sell him to the Arabs and not harm him with our own hands.” The brothers consented. Joseph was sold and brought to Egypt as a slave, where, years later, he rose to become the viceroy of the country. Now, when Joseph’s younger brother Benjamin is about to be taken as a slave, Judah offers himself instead.
A metamorphosis has occurred. The time is fertile for reconciliation and renewal. Joseph can reunite with his family.
But there is more.
THE GIFT OF ROYALTY
Tradition has it that royalty in the Jewish nation belongs primarily to the descendants of Judah. Of course, there were many Monarchs who descended from other tribes of Israel, like King Saul from the tribe of Benjamin, or Yeravaam from the tribe of Joseph. The Hasmonean dynasty, responsible for the Chanukah festival, was from the Levite tribe. Yet, as Jacob tells his son Judah on his deathbed, the gift of royalty was specifically conferred upon him and his descendants; the quality of leadership was imbued in the DNA of Judah’s descendants, producing over the generations numerous leaders and kings, from the monarchs of the Davidic dynasty to Moshiach (Messiah) who will also be a descendant of David, the great-great-grandchild of Judah.
Why? What did Judah do to deserve this? Was it because he was the one who ultimately saved Joseph from dying in a pit by selling him as a slave (3)? Was it because of his courage to confess publicly that he was the person who cohabited and impregnated Tamar?
Certainly, but perhaps there was something else. It was Judah’s declaration in this week’s portion, Vayigash, “Because your servant took responsibility for the lad,” that more than all demonstrated that the gift of leadership belonged to this man’s soul.
You see, notwithstanding his unwavering promise to his father to bring back Benjamin, Judah could have returned without the lad with a book filled with great excuses. “There was no way we could have fought the viceroy of Egypt, the superpower of the world;” “I know I promised to bring him back, but our brother decided to steal the silver majestic goblet from the second to the most powerful person in the world, so what exactly was I supposed to do?” Or, “G-d apparently wanted Benjamin to remain there; after all the viceroy’s goblet did ‘miraculously’ end up in Benjamin’s bag;” “being a slave by Egypt’s viceroy—our brother Shimon can report to us—is not that bad, he treats his workers with dignity[8].” “Yes it’s terrible, but what should I have done? Self-sacrifice can help you jump from the roof to the ground, not to jump from the ground to the roof!”
These are part of the excuses Judah could have given, and he would have been (at least partially) correct. There is little one can do to battle reality. They did find the goblet of the Prime Minister in Benjamin’s bag and Judah was not the culprit.
But Judah was a leader. He had it in his bones to take absolute responsibility for a situation and never pass the buck to others, not even to what can be perceived as “reality.” As a genuine leader, Judah stood up and proclaimed: “Because your servant took responsibility for the lad!” Yes, I can find many ways to vindicate myself, but the job will not get done. This is not about me—my innocence or guilt, my merit or fault; it is accomplishing the mission: Benjamin must return to his father.
And that is what makes a leader.
EXCUSES VS. ACTION
Today, too, we desperately need the leadership that will not only search for causes but will implement solutions to ensure the safety of our loved ones and our people.
The most important solution might be a paradigm shift in our mindsets, habits, and lifestyles.
From anti-Semitism to mass assimilation we face many challenges. We live in a generation when many good excuses have been given for our bleak demographics and for Jewish continuity becoming an endangered species. Many a sociologist has, over the course of the past half-century, explained some of the causes for mass assimilation, intermarriage, ignorance, sexual impropriety, abuse, dysfunction, apathy, and strife within families or communities. The Holocaust, secularism, modernity, failure of institutionalized religion, anti-Semitism, the hypocrisy of religious leaders, the monotony of ritual, trauma of all sorts, and the extraordinarily successful integration of Jews into the mainstream of American life. The walls of the ghetto, physical and conceptual, have at last crumbled.
As a frequent traveler to Jewish conventions and retreats around the globe, I am privy to hearing lectures and workshops analyzing the unique challenges of our times and the various crises that threaten our future. They all make good and sound points.
Yet I also had the privilege of seeing a “Judah,” who a number of years after the incomprehensible destruction of Auschwitz and Treblinka, rose and declared: “Your servant took responsibility for the lad.” I, your servant, have taken personal responsibility for the collective Jewish community and for every individual Jewish lad.
For the following four decades this man, a biological scion of Judah, would not sleep nor allow anyone else to sleep. Single-handedly he empowered thousands upon thousands to stop passing the buck or relieve their conscience by merely making a contribution to a noble cause. He inspired them to take personal responsibility for the welfare, continuity, and eternity of the Jewish people. Do not allow “reality,” he always taught, to decide the future of the Jewish people. Take responsibility for the lad! Do not rest until every Jewish child the world over is given the opportunity to be liberated from spiritual slavery, from his (or her) subjugation to forces alien to his essence, and, just like Benjamin, to be able to return to his father in heaven.
Each year on this Sabbath when I hear the words “Your servant took responsibility for the lad” read aloud from the Torah scroll, my eyes swell up in tears. In my imagination I still see my Rebbe, his face aglow, teaching for hours, but always culminating with this resounding message:
“You and I must take responsibility for the lad!” Do not lament, kvetch, sigh and write a check. Do not organize conferences to analyze all of the problems. Instead, go out of your comfort zone and touch the heart of another person. Build communities, schools, synagogues, and yeshivas. Get involved and make a difference in people’s lives. Give every Jewish child the gift of a Torah education. Help people get in touch with their Jewish souls and spiritual inheritance. Most of all, care about the other as though he or she was your own brother.
“You may have good excuses for your inaction,” he would always say, and nobody will blame you.” But the bottom line is that after all of your rationalization, the child, Benjamin, will remain enslaved to Egypt and its culture.
In our times, often leaderless and aimless, we must make Judah’s call our own. “Your servant took rAesponsibility for the lad.” So shall we.