06 Aug TEACHING THROUGH LOVE: MOSHE RABENU’S METHOD OF REBUKE

Leading to the sad
day of Tisha B’Av,
we read Haftarot
with the rebukes of
the prophecies.
These rebukes are
meant for us, and we should take them
seriously. At the same time, it’s worthwhile
to learn from them how to correctly rebuke
so the message will be conveyed in a
beneficial way.
We also read a rebuke in the beginning of
Sefer Devarim, the last sefer of the Torah,
which starts differently than the first four.
The first four books begin with Hashem’s
expression of love for our nation and their
leader, Moshe Rabenu. Let’s go through
them:
– Bereishit opens this way to teach us the
famous words of Rashi—Bereishit means
“for reshit—for Israel,” to show that
Hashem created the whole world for Am
Yisrael.
– Shemot and Bamidbar begin with the
counting of the people of Israel, indicating
that Hashem constantly counts us to express
His love.
– Vayikra starts with a call of love and
friendship to Moshe Rabenu, the leader of
Klal Yisrael.
But the last book of the Chumash takes a
different course with a rebuke. Rashi
writes: “These are words of rebuke. Thus,
Moshe is mentioning here all the places
where they provoked Hashem to anger.
Therefore, Moshe Rabenu mentions these
matters only by mere allusion contained in
the names of these places, out of regard for
Israel.” The names of the places mentioned
at the beginning of the parasha hint at the
places where Am Yisrael sinned. For
example, when he says “in the desert,” he
means to hint to them that they complained
unjustly in the desert. When he says “in the
Arava,” he means to remind them that they
sinned with idol worship in a place called
Arvot Moav, and so on.
The Torah obviously tells us this to teach us
how one should rebuke, so let’s delve into
those teachings and see what we can take
from it. First, if we understand that it’s the
Torah which sends the message of rebuke,

then we see that in
order to rebuke, we
must first express
love repeatedly, as
the Torah does in
the first four books.
Moreover, this love
was demonstrated
over generations,
from the time of
creation until the
people were ready
to enter the Land of
Israel. Only once it
was well
established that
Hashem loves us very much did He feel
that we were ready to accept a rebuke. In
this particular case, it was Moshe Rabenu
who rebuked the people before he passed
away, which also shows us that after a
lifelong dedication to the nation, until the
people were convinced of his unbounded
love, he finally found the moment to share
with them how they should improve
themselves.
Secondly, even after all the expressions of
love, Moshe Rabenu still manages to
deliver the rebuke indirectly by only
hinting. Moshe could have spoken more
directly to the people, explaining to them
that what they had done throughout the
years was wrong. Instead, he gave soft and
indirect hints, hoping that people would
understand his meaning. This leaves us
wondering, as we read these words, how
indeed would they know his meaning?
After all, we wouldn’t know what Moshe
means without reading Rashi’s
interpretation.
The answer is that when they sinned and
were punished, the sin and the punishment
left a mark; it left a certain trauma on the
nation. When one goes through a trauma,
anything that reminds them of what
happened brings back those bad feelings
again. Therefore, all Moshe needed to do
was send a faded reminder, and those who
are attuned to the truth would immediately
understand.
But if this is a valid rebuke by merely
reminding them of what they have done
wrong, why couldn’t Moshe spell things
out instead of hinting? Rashi tells us he did
it to preserve the respect and honor of the
nation. What Rashi reveals here is an
important understanding of human nature:
when you rebuke someone, you’re
essentially telling them they are doing
things wrong, which can diminish their
sense of self-worth and honor. Therefore,

Moshe acted very wisely. He didn’t even
explicitly state that it was a rebuke; he
didn’t make them feel as though they were
being rebuked. He hinted in a way that kept
their respect intact, allowing them to come
to the conclusion themselves. How
brilliant!
Another lesson we learn from the fact that
Moshe Rabenu delivered his rebuke in his
final days is that, as long as he was alive, he
sought to improve the nation through other
means than rebuke. Moshe Rabenu did not
blame others for their failures but rather
himself. When the nation did not move in
the right direction, he felt it was the fault of
the leader, and he took every measure to
change them. He refrained from rebuking
them then, believing that it was he who
needed to be corrected rather than the
people. Once he neared his final days, he
realized that he needed to address these
issues before he was no longer around to
guide and help them, ensuring they would
not repeat the same mistakes.
It could be that this is the meaning of the
mitzvah in the pasuk that says (Vayikra 19,
17), “Rebuke your friend but incur no guilt
or sin upon him.” Many interpretations
have been given to this, but the simple
question should be asked, as it seems
contradictory that the pasuk says you
should rebuke your friend but at the same
time not tell him of his sins- incur no guilt
or sin upon him. According to the above
explanation, we can understand this to
mean that when you rebuke your friend,
follow the footsteps of Moshe Rabenu.
Don’t make him feel that you are rebuking
him or that you know he has done something
wrong. Rather, use your wisdom to awaken
him to do the right thing by himself.
Indeed, this is a very hard task and easier
said than done, as Chazal already were
quoted saying (ב ,טז ערכין(,” We wonder if
there is anyone in our generation who
knows the wisdom of rebuking correctly.”