19 Aug THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO NEVER BRING INTO YOUR HOME

In 2001, Indra
Nooyi was named
president of PepsiCo.
Five years later, she
would be promoted
to CEO and, in 2007,
she would become
chairman of the company as well. She

once spoke about the day she was ap-
pointed president and put in charge of

running the $166 billion company. That

night her parents happened to be visit-
ing. Here is how she described that

night:

I’ll never forget coming home after be-
ing named President of PepsiCo back in

2001. My mother was visiting at the
time. “I’ve got great news for you,” I
shouted. She replied, “It can wait. We
need you to go out and get some milk.”
So I go out and get milk. And when I
come back, I’m hopping mad. I say, “I
had great news for you. I’ve just been
named President of PepsiCo. And all
you want me to do is go out and get
milk.”

Then she says, “Let me explain some-
thing to you. You may be President of

PepsiCo. But when you step into this
house, you’re a wife and mother first.
Nobody can take that place. So leave
that crown in the garage.”
In our Parsha, the Torah commands us
not to bring toeiva into our homes. The
word toeiva, abomination, is generic
and can refer to many things. The Torah
describes inappropriate illicit relations
as toieva. Non-kosher food, inexact
weights and measures, and dishonest
business practices are also identified as
toeiva. So what does it mean here?

What exactly are we warned from tak-
ing into our house and into our lives?

The Rambam and Ramban understand
that idols themselves are a toeiva, an
abomination, and the Torah prohibits
the deriving of any benefit from an idol
or its accessories. The Sefer HaChinuch
extends this prohibition to another form
of idolatry, the worship of money, and
says our passuk is a prohibition from
earning any profit from funds that were
obtained in an unethical manner.
According the Gemara in Sotah (4b),

the toeiva, the abomination that we can-
not and must not bring into our homes,

is ga’ava—arrogance, hubris or conceit.
You may have made a great business
deal, given a great shiur, had a killer
workout, or made world peace, but no
matter what you accomplished or

achieved, lo savi toeiva el beisecha,
don’t bring a sense of pride or arrogance

into your home. As Indra Nooyi’s moth-
er said – leave that abomination in your

garage.

When you find success, Moshe cau-
tions his people, you will be tempted by

arrogance and conceit. Your ego will
entice you to feel that you and you alone

are responsible for achieving and ac-
complishing greatness. Moshe enjoins

them strongly to remember it is Hashem
who gives ko’ach.
Our Parsha seeks to communicate a

simple message. Success is not the re-
sult of our talents, skills, or wisdom. It

reflects the will of Hashem Who grants

us that success. Indeed, Unkelus inter-
prets this pasuk in a very interesting

way: “It is He who gave you the advice
to purchase property.”
Unkelus understands
that not only does
Hashem allow our
success, He even
plants the ideas and
decisions in our heads
that bring about those
positive results. From
Unkelus it sounds like

we are essentially pas-
sive spectators and

bystanders to our des-
tiny that is in reality

shaped and molded by
the Almighty alone.
Yet this position feels
at odds with one of

our fundamental be-
liefs. In a few weeks we will read

“u’vacharta ba’chayim, choose life.”
Clearly, we are given the power to make
choices in our lives and those choices
matter and matter greatly. The concept

of bechira chofsis, free will, is axiomat-
ic to our faith and indeed, gives purpose

and meaning to our lives. So which is it,
are we responsible for our success? Is it
the result of our choices, our talents,
skills, wisdom and judgment? Or, did
Hashem plant those ideas in our head

and all of our success belongs exclu-
sively to Him?

Rabbeinu Nissim (Derashos Ha’Ran
#10) is bothered by this very question
and shares a very fundamental insight:
The meaning of this is as follows: The
truth is that people have different talents
in different areas. For example, certain

people are predisposed to receive wis-
dom, whereas others are predisposed to

devise strategies to gather and amass
wealth. On account of this, the wealthy
man can truthfully say, from a certain
angle, “My ability and the might of my

hand made me this wealth.” Neverthe-
less, insofar as that ability was implant-
ed within you, be sure to remember

Who gives you the ability to make
wealth.
Moshe did not say, “V’zacharta ki
Hashem Elokecha nosein lecha chayil,
remember that Hashem is the One Who
gives you wealth,” for if he had said
that, he would be minimizing the ability
implanted within the person, which is

an intermediate cause in the accumula-
tion of that wealth – but this is not the

case. Therefore he said “Hu Hanosein
lecha koach la’asos chayil – Although
your own ability is what made you this

wealthy, you must remember Who gives
you that ability.”
In truth, says the Ran, it is our talents
and skills that achieve positive results.
We can be proud of our efforts, hard

work, prudent judgment, and wise deci-
sions. The Torah doesn’t demand that

we deny what we are good at or that our

being good matters. What it does de-
mand of us is to always remember who

gave us those skills, talents and abili-
ties. There is nothing wrong with being

proud of our intelligence, decision-mak-
ing, or prodigiousness in a given field.

But we must recognize that those gifts

are on loan from the Almighty and nev-
er owned by us. Arrogance is thinking

we control our gifts, they are part of a
permanent collection. It is thinking we

are autonomous and we are the sole ar-
biters of our destiny. Transferring the

deserved credit and recognition from
G-d to us is essentially worshipping

ourselves and denying G-d’s involve-
ment in our lives.

Self-confidence should not be con-
fused with arrogance. A confident per-
son can yet be humble as long as they

know that their success or gifts are from
Hashem and can be fleeting. Humility is
not denying what you are good at. It is
identifying it and then using it to be an
instrument of Hashem. The moment we

feel independent and immune that arro-
gance takes over and our downfall be-
gins. We are accordingly warned: Do

not bring that despicable, vile, abomi-
nable character trait into your home.

Check your ego at the door. As you en-
ter that threshold into the home you

earned, with the possessions you pur-
chased and with the family you created,

you may be tempted to feel slightly ar-
rogant, superior or proud. But you must

check it at the door.
One of the many lessons to incorporate
from the last few months is how much

humility we must have despite whatev-
er abilities and strengths we are blessed

with. We may be smart, yet we must
feel humbled by how much we have
come to realize we do not know. We
cannot bring arrogance to the kitchen
table, we cannot be condescending to
spouses or children or friends. Don’t
bring arrogance to the phone and have
conversations that disregard or diminish
others. Don’t bring arrogance to your
Shabbos table and sit in judgment of
your neighbors, your family members
and your community leaders. And don’t
bring that arrogance to the keyboard of
your computer and express definitive,
authoritative opinions about issues you
likely don’t know everything about.
You may not be able to throw a slider
95 mph, but we can all be like the Hall
of Famer greatest closer of all time,
Mariano Rivera of the Yankees, who

said in an interview upon retiring: “Ev-
erything I have and everything I became

is because of the strength of the Lord,
and through him I have accomplished
everything. Not because of my strength.
Only by his love, his mercy, and his
strength.”
As you walk into your home, the
boardroom, operating room, courtroom
or any other room, always remember,
all that we have, the things, the skills,
the talents and the blessings are on loan,
never part of our permanent collection.
May He continue to lend them to us and
give us the strength to use them well.