23 May THE MOUNTAIN OVER YOUR HEAD NEVER CONFUSE MOODS WITH VALUES

A Doctor’s Advice
A woman accompanied
her husband to the
doctor’s office.Following
her husband’s checkup,
the doctor called the wife
into his office to speak with her
privately. He said, “Your husband is suffering from
a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t do the
following, your husband will surely deteriorate and
die.”
“Each morning,” instructed the doctor, “fix
him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all
times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal.
For dinner prepare an especially nice meal
for him. Have the dinner waiting for him on
the table, hot, as he arrives home from work.
Don’t burden him with chores. Don’t discuss
your problems with him; it will only make his
stress worse. No nagging is allowed. You
must also compliment him at least five-six
times a day, telling him how brilliant and
talented he is. And most importantly, never
disagree with him.”
“If you can do this for the next 10 months to
a year,” the doctor said, “I think your husband

will regain his health completely.”
On the way home, the husband asked his
wife, “What did the doctor say?”
“He said you’re going to die,” she replied.
The Proposal
There is an enigmatic Talmudic passage
explaining a peculiar phrase in the Torah
reading of shvauos, from the portion of Yisro:
“They (the Jewish people) stood in the
bottom of the (Sinai) mountain.”
What is the meaning of the words “in the
bottom of the mountain”? The Talmud
explains that the Jews were actually standing
inside the mountain. “G-d enveloped them
with the mountain as though it was an
upturned vat, and He said to them: ‘If you
accept the Torah, fine; if not, this will be your
burial place.’”
The event at Sinai is viewed as the marriage
ceremony between G-d and the Jewish
people. Imagine a groom, who on the day of
his wedding, placed his bride under an
elevator and declared: “If you marry me,
great; if not, the elevator will come down on
your head.” How enduring can such a

relationship be? Couldn’t
G-d have found a more
“romantic” way to convince
the “bride” to marry Him?
What is even more puzzling
is the fact that according to
the biblical narrative, the
Jewish people had already
expressed their willingness
to accept the Torah before
this event. Why was it
necessary for G-d to coerce
them into something they
had already agreed upon?
Let us present the explanation offered by
one of the greatest spiritual masters of all
time, the Baal Shem Tov.
Numb Days
There are days when we are emotionally in
touch with our inner idealism, spirituality and
G-dliness. At such times we are inspired to
live deeply and to love deeply.
But then come the days when we feel
estranged from our souls. We are emotionally

numb, experiencing ourselves merely as self-
centered and materialistic creatures

seeking to satiate nothing more than our
momentary cravings. We are simply not
in the mood for our higher, refined
aspirations. G-d does not appeal to us. At
such times of spiritual alienation, we
often succumb to mundane and selfish
behavior. Since we feel disconnected, we
act as though we are indeed disconnected.
This is a mistake. By G-d forcing the
Jewish people to enter into the
relationship—even though they had
already agreed—He demonstrated to
them the truth that their relationship was
not based on the fact that they were
consciously passionate about it. Instead,
the relationship was inherent and
essential to their very chemistry. Man is
an innately sacred and Divine creature.
“Even when you are not in the mood of
me,” G-d was intimating, “our
relationship is as strong as ever. You can
act on it.”
Yet you may still think, “Fine, I will
behave, but let’s face it, the relationship
is not happening. It is all but dead.”
So G-d says “no.” By placing the
mountain on their heads at the moment of
Revelation, during the profoundest
moment of intimacy between G-d and his
people, G-d was saying that a relationship
inspired by the knowledge that this is the
truth, though you may not feel it, is a

genuine and authentic relationship. It is a real
union. Though there is no passion, when you
behave in a moral and sacred fashion
knowing that this is who you really are, it is a
true bond.
I don’t feel like spending time with my
children right now. I do not feel like going to
the wedding. I do it anyway. But I feel it is
lifeless and devoid of meaning. So the Torah
says: Not at all. It is real, authentic and
valuable. What I feel or don’t is never the
barometer of whether it is right or wrong.
Never confuse your moods with your
values. I may not be in the mood of something,
for 1000 different reasons. That does not
diminish in the slightest my inner connection
to it: it remains my value, my innate desire
and commitment.
Rocky Moments
In the Jewish tradition, the marriage of each
man and woman reflects the cosmic marriage
between G-d and His people. There are the
days when we feel truly grateful for our
spouses and experience deep love towards
them. At such times we crave to give of
ourselves to our spouses and make their lives
happier.
But at other times we become cold and
apathetic. We just want to do “our own thing”
and simply are not in the mood of the
relationship. Sometimes, a marriage goes
through tough seasons.
In the majority of cases, it would be a sad
error to act upon those feelings of detachment.
For the Kabbalah teaches that a wife and
husband are essentially “two halves of a
single soul.” At their core, they are one. Thus,
when a couple enters into marriage, it needs
to recall what G-d reminded us on the day of
His marriage: Whether we are in the mood of
each other or not, we are married and we are
one.
Such a commitment could save many
marriages when they encounter rocky times.
After all, it saved the marriage between G-d
and the Jews.