Have Questions or Comments?
Leave us some feedback and we'll reply back!

    Your Name (required)

    Your Email (required)

    Phone Number)

    In Reference to

    Your Message


    The time of the three
    weeks is a time when
    activities. Why do
    we refrain from
    activities? What are
    included in these
    activities? Below we
    halachos of the three
    We live in a world today where it is very
    hard to realize what we are missing by not
    having the Bais Hamikdosh. We have gotten
    too comfortable with our houses etc and are
    not really waiting for the day that Moshiach
    will come. The Gemorah tells us one who
    mourns over the Bais Hamikdosh will merit
    seeing it rebuilt. The Shulchan Aruch tells
    us that a G-D fearing person should worry
    about the churban Bais Hamikdosh every day
    of his life. Five tragic occurrences happened
    on Shiva Asar B’tamuz: 1. Moshe Rabbeinu
    broke the luchos when he came down from
    Har Sinai and saw the eigel 2. The karbon
    tamid was no longer brought in the first Bais
    Hamikdosh. 3. The destruction of the second
    Bais Hamikdosh started. 4. Apostumos
    burnt the Torah 5. A tzelem was placed in
    the heichel. On Tisha B’av the following
    tragedies happened: 1. Klal Yisroel were told
    they were not going into Eretz Yisroel because
    they wept in vain after hearing the evil report
    of the meraglim. 2. The first and second Bais
    Hamikdosh were destroyed. 3. Beitar, which
    was home to thousands of Jews, was captured
    by the Romans. 4. Turnisrupos surrounded
    the heichel. Because of the above tragedies,
    the custom is to refrain from many activities
    during the days between Shiva Asar B’tamuz
    and Tisha B’av, which are commonly known
    as “Ben Hametzarim.”
    Based on the sources in the footnote below it
    would seem that the time for aveilus is either

    from Rosh Chodesh Av or during the week of
    Tisha B’av. However, many poskim among
    them the Rama bring down that the time of
    aveilus starts from Shiva Asar B’tamuz.
    Night Before or in the Morning There is a
    discussion among the poskim if one has to
    refrain from the actions which are not done
    during the three weeks from the morning of
    Shiva Asar B’tamuz or even the night before?
    Most poskim say that one should refrain from
    doing these activities even from the night
    before, from tzeis. In a pressing situation
    one can be lenient (i.e. wedding on Motzei
    Shabbos). Some are of the opinion that during
    ben hashmoshes one can be lenient with the
    actions which are customarily refrained from
    during the three weeks (i.e. haircut). There
    is a minority view that holds that some have
    the custom not to eat meat from Shiva Asar
    B’tamuz until after Tisha B’av, (except for
    Shabbos), but the custom is not like this.
    Some have the custom to fast each day from
    Shiva Asar B’tamuz until after Tisha B’av,
    but the custom is not like this, especially for
    one who teaches Torah and is concerned it
    will affect his learning.
    Mourning Mid-day
    Many poskim mention that after the mid-day
    point of every day during the three weeks
    one should take some time out to mourn over
    the Nonetheless, this should not be done on
    Erev Shabbos, Erev Rosh Chodesh Av, Rosh
    Chodesh and Erev Tisha B’av.
    Restricted Activities
    There are basically four main activities which
    are customarily restricted during the three
    weeks. 1. Joy, such as a wedding, dancing
    or we avoid many music. 2. Haircuts. 3.
    Reciting a shehechiyanu. 4. Dangerous
    situations. We will now begin to such discuss
    these activities in the order in which they
    appear in the Shulchan Aruch.
    The custom of Ashkenazim is to refrain
    from will discuss the making weddings
    from the night of Shiva Asar B’tamuz
    until after Tisha B’av. This is even if one
    has not fulfilled the mitzvah of having
    children (see above in regard to making a
    wedding the night of Shiva Asar B’tamuz).
    One is permitted to get engaged (vort) or
    write a tenayim during the three weeks but
    only without a seuda or dancing). One is
    permitted to make a seuda for a bris milah
    or pidyon haben during the three weeks.
    Some say that at a sheva berochos which
    takes during the three weeks, one may
    not have dancing or music. Others permit
    dancing but no music, and others permit
    both dancing and music.

    Just as dancing is not done during the
    three weeks, it is customary to refrain from
    listening to music as well. This applies to
    tapes, radios, CDs or DVDs. Some poskim
    are lenient and permit even live music at a
    seudas mitzvah. One who wishes to listen to
    music while exercising or in a waiting room
    is permitted to do so. One does not have to
    shut off a musical ringer on his cell phone
    during the three weeks. If one is driving
    and is scared of falling asleep, listening to
    music is permitted. One is permitted to listen
    to music if he is suffering from depression
    and the music will lift his spirits. Children
    below the age of chinuch are permitted to
    listen to music. This applies to adults who
    are listening to the children’s music as well
    (i.e. while driving in the car). In addition, a
    teacher in a playgroup may play music for
    her students who are under the age of chinuch
    during the three weeks. There is a discussion
    in the poskim if playing a musical instrument
    for one’s livelihood is permitted during the
    three weeks. The consensus of the poskim is
    that doing so is permitted, although some say
    only until Rosh Chodesh Av. It is proper not
    to have music lessons during the three weeks.
    Newest Fad
    Many say singing without music is not
    permitted. Therefore, the newest fad to have
    music which simulates instrumental music
    (A capella) is not a viable loophole during
    the three weeks. Such singing defeats the
    whole purpose of the isssur because the
    musical experience is what is really ossur,
    which A capella singing provides in full. If
    there is singing without music then it may be
    permitted. In addition, some say even if one
    sings into a CD without beats it is considered
    music and forbidden.
    Singing with one’s mouth is permitted
    during the three weeks. Some say singing
    songs which brings joy should not be done.
    According to some poskim listening to a CD
    of chazzanos without music is permitted even
    if one finds it enjoyable.
    The custom of Ashkenazim is not to take
    haircuts from Shiva Asar B’tamuz until
    after Tisha B’av. This applies to both men
    and women. The reason for this is since one
    does not take a haircut so often, if we were
    allowed to take haircuts until Rosh Chodesh
    Av it would not be recognizable that we
    let our hair grow destruction of the Bais
    Hamikdosh. after Rosh Chodesh, therefore,
    the custom is to refrain from haircuts for
    the entire three week period. This stands
    true even for the honor of Shabbos. One is

    permitted to comb his hair even if some hair
    may fall out. Some say an Ashkenazi can
    give a Sefardi a haircut since the Sefardi is
    permitted to have a haircut until the week of
    Tisha B’av, but l’halacha one should not do
    so. Others say if a Sefardi (who is permitted
    to take a haircut until the week of Tisha
    B’av) wishes he can be stringent and not
    give haircuts to Ashkenazim, but according
    to the letter of the law doing so is permitted.
    An adult may not give a child a haircut,
    since one should teach his children about
    the churban, however, if it is for the need
    of the child then doing so is permitted until
    the week of Tisha B’av. One should avoid
    performing an upsherin of a child during the
    three weeks. The haircut which is forbidden
    refers to the head and beard (shaving). If
    one’s mustache is getting long and in the way
    of eating, it may be shaven. One who works
    in a place that if he does not shave or take
    a haircut he will lose his job, may shave or
    take a haircut during the three weeks, except
    for the week of Tisha B’av. A woman whose
    hair grows long enough that it starts coming
    out of her head covering may shave it. The
    same is true if the shaving is done for tznius
    reasons. Going for electrolysis is permitted
    for a woman. A woman is permitted to
    tweeze her eyebrows during the three weeks.
    A sheitel which needs to be fixed or cut is
    permitted until Rosh Chodesh Av. A girl who
    is involved with dating can shave before she
    goes on a date. Some say if one’s hair is so
    long that it is a chatzitzah for hilchos tefillin
    then one is permitted to take a haircut. It is
    permitted for the one who is making a bris
    (father of the child), the mohel, and sandek
    to shave for the bris, until the week of Tisha
    B ’av.A chosson during his sheva berochos
    is permitted to shave since it is like a Yom
    Tov for him. The opinion of some poskim is
    to be lenient for a bar-mitzvah boy to take a
    haircut if the bar-mitzvah is before the week
    that Tisha B’av falls out, but other say this
    should not be done, and this is the custom of
    Cutting Nails
    One is permitted to cut nails during the three
    weeks. A mohel is permitted to cut his nail in

    order to perform a bris more efficiently.
    Reciting a Shehechiyanu and Buying New
    It is a good practice to refrain from reciting
    a shehechiyanu on a fruit or garment during
    the three weeks (until the tenth of Av) (please
    note the below discussion only pertains to a
    fruit or garment that requires a shehechiyanu
    to be recited according to halacha. In addition
    this discussion is not referring to the nine
    days where the halachos are more stringent).
    Some say the custom is only to refrain from a
    shehechiyanu from the nine days (see below)
    but not before. The reason for the custom
    is since this time is a time of “unpleasant
    occurrences” it is not the time to say the
    beracha of shehechiyanu where we mention
    being brought to this time. A woman who is
    expecting is allowed to eat a fruit even if she
    will have to make a shehechiyanu on it since
    if she wants a food and does not have it there
    can be a danger. From the fact that one should
    not recite a shehechiyanu during these days,
    we learn that one should also not buy any
    clothing which would require him to recite a
    shehechiyanu. Some say one who mistakenly
    recited a beracha rishona on a fruit which
    requires a shehechiyanu should recite a
    shehechiyanu on it before eating it. According

    to the above, one would be permitted to buy a
    chashuv item during the three weeks as long
    as no shehechiyanu is recited on its purchase.
    Some still say that something which is
    “chashuv” should not be bought during
    this time. A sefer that one does not recite a
    shehechiyanu on (not chashuv, or according
    to those poskim that no shehechiyanu is
    recited on seforim) is permitted to be bought
    until Rosh Chodesh Av. Some say if avoiding
    the purchase of an item will cause a loss, one
    should just give a down payment for it and
    pay the rest after the three weeks, others are
    more lenient. Some say an item which one
    does not wear when he buys it (i.e. clothing
    which requires alternation) and he would
    recite a shehechiyanu when wearing it,
    would be permitted to buy during the three
    weeks in order to wear it after Tisha B’av. A
    new garment which one bought before the
    three weeks and recited a shehechiyanu on it
    (according to those who say a shehechiyanu
    is not recited at the time of wearing but at the
    time of the purchase) at that time is permitted
    to wear it for the first time until Rosh Chodesh
    Av. One is permitted to recite a shehechiyanu
    on a mitzvah such as a pidyon habenor bris.
    In addition, one is permitted to recite hatov
    v’hameitiv during the entire three weeks. For
    example, one is permitted to buy a car until

    Rosh Chodesh Av if it will be used for his
    family. One who gives birth to a girl may
    recite a shehechiyanyu, even if the girl is
    born during the three weeks. Some have the
    custom that one should refrain from moving
    into a new home during the three weeks.
    Some say one is permitted to give a gift to
    someone during the entire three weeks if it
    is something which one does not recite a
    shehechiyanu on.
    Avoiding Danger
    The poskim mention of few actions to refrain
    from the entire three weeks period because
    of danger involved. We will begin to discuss
    them below. During the three weeks a Rebbe
    should be careful not to hit his students, and
    a parent should not hit their child even with
    a strap, and even the slightest hit. Some say
    this is only referring to a hit in a place which
    can be danger to the child. The time frame is
    from the beginning of the fourth hour until
    the end of the ninth hour of the day (in the
    summer it is approx. from 11:00am – 2:00
    pm), while others say it is a whole day. Some
    say there is no concern in a room which has a
    mezuzah. One should be careful not to walk
    by himself outside of the city between the

    beginning of the fourth hour until the end
    of the ninth hour of the day (in the summer
    it is approx. from 11:00am – 2:00 pm). In
    addition any place where people frequent it
    is permitted. One should not walk between
    the sun and the shade during the three weeks,
    but this is only for a long period of time. The
    whole concern is in the same place, but to
    walk from sun to shade is permitted. Some
    say one should be careful not to sit or sleep
    in the shade of the sun during this time. One
    should avoid having surgery during the three
    weeks if pushing it off until after the three
    weeks is possible.
    Swimming – Three Weeks (not including
    nine days)
    Some have the custom to refrain from
    swimming during the three weeks. However,
    the custom is to go swimming until Rosh
    Chodesh Av. Nonetheless, one should avoid
    swimming in dangerous places.