15 Jul THE “THREE WEEKS”

The time of the three
weeks is a time when
activities. Why do
we refrain from
activities? What are
included in these
activities? Below we
halachos of the three
weeks.
Introduction
We live in a world today where it is very
hard to realize what we are missing by not
having the Bais Hamikdosh. We have gotten
too comfortable with our houses etc and are
not really waiting for the day that Moshiach
will come. The Gemorah tells us one who
mourns over the Bais Hamikdosh will merit
seeing it rebuilt. The Shulchan Aruch tells
us that a G-D fearing person should worry
about the churban Bais Hamikdosh every day
of his life. Five tragic occurrences happened
on Shiva Asar B’tamuz: 1. Moshe Rabbeinu
broke the luchos when he came down from
Har Sinai and saw the eigel 2. The karbon
tamid was no longer brought in the first Bais
Hamikdosh. 3. The destruction of the second
Bais Hamikdosh started. 4. Apostumos
burnt the Torah 5. A tzelem was placed in
the heichel. On Tisha B’av the following
tragedies happened: 1. Klal Yisroel were told
they were not going into Eretz Yisroel because
they wept in vain after hearing the evil report
of the meraglim. 2. The first and second Bais
Hamikdosh were destroyed. 3. Beitar, which
was home to thousands of Jews, was captured
by the Romans. 4. Turnisrupos surrounded
the heichel. Because of the above tragedies,
the custom is to refrain from many activities
during the days between Shiva Asar B’tamuz
and Tisha B’av, which are commonly known
as “Ben Hametzarim.”
Source
Based on the sources in the footnote below it
would seem that the time for aveilus is either
from Rosh Chodesh Av or during the week of
Tisha B’av. However, many poskim among
them the Rama bring down that the time of
aveilus starts from Shiva Asar B’tamuz.
Night Before or in the Morning There is a
discussion among the poskim if one has to
refrain from the actions which are not done
during the three weeks from the morning of
Shiva Asar B’tamuz or even the night before?
Most poskim say that one should refrain from
doing these activities even from the night
before, from tzeis. In a pressing situation
one can be lenient (i.e. wedding on Motzei
Shabbos). Some are of the opinion that during
ben hashmoshes one can be lenient with the
actions which are customarily refrained from
during the three weeks (i.e. haircut). There
is a minority view that holds that some have
the custom not to eat meat from Shiva Asar
B’tamuz until after Tisha B’av, (except for
Shabbos), but the custom is not like this.

Some have the custom to fast each day from
Shiva Asar B’tamuz until after Tisha B’av,
but the custom is not like this, especially for
one who teaches Torah and is concerned it
will affect his learning.
Mourning Mid-day
Many poskim mention that after the mid-day
point of every day during the three weeks
one should take some time out to mourn over
the Nonetheless, this should not be done on
Erev Shabbos, Erev Rosh Chodesh Av, Rosh
Chodesh and Erev Tisha B’av.
Restricted Activities
There are basically four main activities which
are customarily restricted during the three
weeks. 1. Joy, such as a wedding, dancing
or we avoid many music. 2. Haircuts. 3.
Reciting a shehechiyanu. 4. Dangerous
situations. We will now begin to such discuss
these activities in the order in which they
appear in the Shulchan Aruch.
Weddings
The custom of Ashkenazim is to refrain from
will discuss the making weddings from the
night of Shiva Asar B’tamuz until after Tisha
B’av. This is even if one has not fulfilled
the mitzvah of having children (see above
in regard to making a wedding the night of
Shiva Asar B’tamuz). One is permitted to
get engaged (vort) or write a tenayim during
the three weeks but only without a seuda or
dancing). One is permitted to make a seuda
for a bris milah or pidyon haben during
the three weeks. Some say that at a sheva
berochos which takes during the three weeks,
one may not have dancing or music. Others
permit dancing but no music, and others
permit both dancing and music.
Music
Just as dancing is not done during the
three weeks, it is customary to refrain from
listening to music as well. This applies to
tapes, radios, CDs or DVDs. Some poskim
are lenient and permit even live music at a
seudas mitzvah. One who wishes to listen to
music while exercising or in a waiting room
is permitted to do so. One does not have to
shut off a musical ringer on his cell phone
during the three weeks. If one is driving
and is scared of falling asleep, listening to
music is permitted. One is permitted to listen
to music if he is suffering from depression
and the music will lift his spirits. Children
below the age of chinuch are permitted to
listen to music. This applies to adults who
are listening to the children’s music as well
(i.e. while driving in the car). In addition, a
teacher in a playgroup may play music for
her students who are under the age of chinuch
during the three weeks. There is a discussion
in the poskim if playing a musical instrument
for one’s livelihood is permitted during the
three weeks. The consensus of the poskim is
that doing so is permitted, although some say

only until Rosh Chodesh Av. It is proper not
to have music lessons during the three weeks.
Newest Fad
Many say singing without music is not
permitted. Therefore, the newest fad to have
music which simulates instrumental music
(A capella) is not a viable loophole during
the three weeks. Such singing defeats the
whole purpose of the isssur because the
musical experience is what is really ossur,
which A capella singing provides in full. If
there is singing without music then it may be
permitted. In addition, some say even if one
sings into a CD without beats it is considered
music and forbidden.
Singing
Singing with one’s mouth is permitted
during the three weeks. Some say singing
songs which brings joy should not be done.
According to some poskim listening to a CD
of chazzanos without music is permitted even
if one finds it enjoyable.
Haircuts
The custom of Ashkenazim is not to take
haircuts from Shiva Asar B’tamuz until
after Tisha B’av. This applies to both men
and women. The reason for this is since one
does not take a haircut so often, if we were
allowed to take haircuts until Rosh Chodesh
Av it would not be recognizable that we
let our hair grow destruction of the Bais
Hamikdosh. after Rosh Chodesh, therefore,
the custom is to refrain from haircuts for
the entire three week period. This stands
true even for the honor of Shabbos. One is
permitted to comb his hair even if some hair
may fall out. Some say an Ashkenazi can
give a Sefardi a haircut since the Sefardi is
permitted to have a haircut until the week of
Tisha B’av, but l’halacha one should not do
so. Others say if a Sefardi (who is permitted
to take a haircut until the week of Tisha
B’av) wishes he can be stringent and not
give haircuts to Ashkenazim, but according
to the letter of the law doing so is permitted.
An adult may not give a child a haircut,
since one should teach his children about
the churban, however, if it is for the need
of the child then doing so is permitted until
the week of Tisha B’av. One should avoid
performing an upsherin of a child during the
three weeks. The haircut which is forbidden
refers to the head and beard (shaving). If
one’s mustache is getting long and in the way
of eating, it may be shaven. One who works
in a place that if he does not shave or take
a haircut he will lose his job, may shave or
take a haircut during the three weeks, except
for the week of Tisha B’av. A woman whose
hair grows long enough that it starts coming
out of her head covering may shave it. The
same is true if the shaving is done for tznius
reasons. Going for electrolysis is permitted
for a woman. A woman is permitted to

tweeze her eyebrows during the three weeks.
A sheitel which needs to be fixed or cut is
permitted until Rosh Chodesh Av. A girl who
is involved with dating can shave before she
goes on a date. Some say if one’s hair is so
long that it is a chatzitzah for hilchos tefillin
then one is permitted to take a haircut. It is
permitted for the one who is making a bris
(father of the child), the mohel, and sandek
to shave for the bris, until the week of Tisha
B ’av.A chosson during his sheva berochos
is permitted to shave since it is like a Yom
Tov for him. The opinion of some poskim is
to be lenient for a bar-mitzvah boy to take a
haircut if the bar-mitzvah is before the week
that Tisha B’av falls out, but other say this
should not be done, and this is the custom of
many.
Cutting Nails
One is permitted to cut nails during the three
weeks. A mohel is permitted to cut his nail in
order to perform a bris more efficiently.
Swimming – Three Weeks (not including
nine days)
Some have the custom to refrain from
swimming during the three weeks. However,
the custom is to go swimming until Rosh
Chodesh Av. Nonetheless, one should avoid
swimming in dangerous places.
Gifts
Some say one is permitted to give a gift to
someone during the entire three weeks if it
is something which one does not recite a
shehechiyanu on.