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    The “Three Weeks”

    The time of the three

    weeks is a time when

    we avoid many

    activities. Why do we

    refrain from such

    activities? What are

    included in these

    activities? Below we

    will discuss the

    halachos of the three

    weeks.

    Introduction

    We live in a world

    today where it is very

    hard to realize what we

    are missing by not having the Bais Hamikdosh.

    We have gotten too comfortable with our houses

    etc and are not really waiting for the day that

    Moshiach will come. The Gemorah tells us one

    who mourns over the Bais Hamikdosh will merit

    seeing it rebuilt. The Shulchan Aruch tells us

    that a G-D fearing person should worry about

    the churban Bais Hamikdosh every day of his

    life. Five tragic occurrences happened on Shiva

    Asar B’tamuz: 1. Moshe Rabbeinu broke the

    luchos when he came down from Har Sinai and

    saw the eigel 2. The karbon tamid was no longer

    brought in the first Bais Hamikdosh. 3. The

    destruction of the second Bais Hamikdosh

    started. 4. Apostumos burnt the Torah 5. A

    tzelem was placed in the heichel. On Tisha B’av

    the following tragedies happened: 1. Klal

    Yisroel were told they were not going into Eretz

    Yisroel because they wept in vain after hearing

    the evil report of the meraglim. 2. The first and

    second Bais Hamikdosh were destroyed. 3.

    Beitar, which was home to thousands of Jews,

    was captured by the Romans. 4. Turnisrupos

    surrounded the heichel. Because of the above

    tragedies, the custom is to refrain from many

    activities during the days between Shiva Asar

    B’tamuz and Tisha B’av, which are commonly

    known as “Ben Hametzarim.”

    Source

    Based on the sources in the footnote below it

    would seem that the time for aveilus is either

    from Rosh Chodesh Av or during the week of

    Tisha B’av. However, many poskim among

    them the Rama bring down that the time of

    aveilus starts from Shiva Asar B’tamuz.

    Night Before or in the Morning

    There is a discussion among the poskim if one

    has to refrain from the actions which are not

    done during the three weeks from the morning

    of Shiva Asar B’tamuz or even the night before?

    Most poskim say that one should refrain from

    doing these activities even from the night

    before, from tzeis. In a pressing situation one

    can be lenient (i.e. wedding on Motzei

    Shabbos). Some are of the opinion that during

    ben hashmoshes one can be lenient with the

    actions which are customarily refrained from

    during the three weeks (i.e. haircut). There is a

    minority view that holds that some have the

    custom not to eat meat from Shiva Asar

    B’tamuz until after Tisha B’av, (except for

    Shabbos), but the custom is not like this. Some

    have the custom to fast each day from Shiva

    Asar B’tamuz until after Tisha B’av, but the

    custom is not like this, especially for one who

    teaches Torah and is concerned it will affect his

    learning.

    Mourning Mid-day

    Many poskim mention that after the mid-day

    point of every day during the three weeks one

    should take some time out to mourn over the

    destruction of the Bais Hamikdosh.

    Nonetheless, this should not be done on Erev

    Shabbos, Erev Rosh Chodesh Av, Rosh

    Chodesh and Erev Tisha B’av.

    Restricted Activities

    There are basically four main activities which

    are customarily restricted during the three

    weeks. 1. Joy, such as a wedding, dancing or

    music. 2. Haircuts. 3. Reciting a shehechiyanu.

    4. Dangerous situations. We will now begin to

    discuss these activities in the order in which

    they appear in the Shulchan Aruch.

    Weddings

    The custom of Ashkenazim is to refrain from

    making weddings from the night of Shiva Asar

    B’tamuz until after Tisha B’av. This is even if

    one has not fulfilled the mitzvah of having

    children (see above in regard to making a

    wedding the night of Shiva Asar B’tamuz). One

    is permitted to get engaged (vort) or write a

    tenayim during the three weeks but only without

    a seuda or dancing). One is permitted to make a

    seuda for a bris milah or pidyon haben during

    the three weeks. Some say that at a sheva

    berochos which takes during the three weeks,

    one may not have dancing or music. Others

    permit dancing but no music, and others permit

    both dancing and music.

    Music

    Just as dancing is not done during the three

    weeks, it is customary to refrain from listening

    to music as well. This applies to tapes, radios,

    CDs or DVDs. Some poskim are lenient and

    permit even live music at a seudas mitzvah. One

    who wishes to listen to music while exercising

    or in a waiting room is permitted to do so. One

    does not have to shut off a musical ringer on his

    cell phone during the three weeks. If one is

    driving and is scared of falling asleep, listening

    to music is permitted. One is permitted to listen

    to music if he is suffering from depression and

    the music will lift his spirits. Children below the

    age of chinuch are permitted to listen to music.

    This applies to adults who are listening to the

    children’s music as well (i.e. while driving in

    the car). In addition, a teacher in a playgroup

    may play music for her students who are under

    the age of chinuch during the three weeks. There

    is a discussion in the poskim if playing a

    musical instrument for one’s livelihood is

    permitted during the three weeks. The

    consensus of the poskim is that doing so is

    permitted, although some say only until Rosh

    Chodesh Av. It is proper not to have music

    lessons during the three weeks.

    Newest Fad

    Many say singing without music is not

    permitted. Therefore, the newest fad to have

    music which simulates instrumental music (A

    capella) is not a viable loophole during the three

    weeks. Such singing defeats the whole purpose

    of the isssur because the musical experience is

    what is really ossur, which A capella singing

    provides in full. If there is singing without

    music then it may be permitted. In addition,

    some say even if one sings into a CD without

    beats it is considered music and forbidden.

    Singing

    Singing with one’s mouth is permitted during

    the three weeks. Some say singing songs which

    brings joy should not be done. According to

    some poskim listening to a CD of chazzanos

    without music is permitted even if one finds it

    enjoyable.

    Haircuts

    The custom of Ashkenazim is not to take

    haircuts from Shiva Asar B’tamuz until after

    Tisha B’av. This applies to both men and

    women. The reason for this is since one does not

    take a haircut so often, if we were allowed to

    take haircuts until Rosh Chodesh Av it would

    not be recognizable that we let our hair grow

    after Rosh Chodesh, therefore, the custom is to

    refrain from haircuts for the entire three week

    period. This stands true even for the honor of

    Shabbos. One is permitted to comb his hair even

    if some hair may fall out. Some say an

    Ashkenazi can give a Sefardi a haircut since the

    Sefardi is permitted to have a haircut until the

    week of Tisha B’av, but l’halacha one should

    not do so. Others say if a Sefardi (who is

    permitted to take a haircut until the week of

    Tisha B’av) wishes he can be stringent and not

    give haircuts to Ashkenazim, but according to

    the letter of the law doing so is permitted. An

    adult may not give a child a haircut, since one

    should teach his children about the churban,

    however, if it is for the need of the child then

    doing so is permitted until the week of Tisha

    B’av. One should avoid performing an upsherin

    of a child during the three weeks. The haircut

    which is forbidden refers to the head and beard

    (shaving). If one’s mustache is getting long and

    in the way of eating, it may be shaven. One who

    works in a place that if he does not shave or take

    a haircut he will lose his job, may shave or take

    a haircut during the three weeks, except for the

    week of Tisha B’av. A woman whose hair

    grows long enough that it starts coming out of

    her head covering may shave it. The same is true

    if the shaving is done for tznius reasons. Going

    for electrolysis is permitted for a woman. A

    woman is permitted to tweeze her eyebrows

    during the three weeks. A sheitel which needs to

    be fixed or cut is permitted until Rosh Chodesh

    Av. A girl who is involved with dating can

    shave before she goes on a date. Some say if

    one’s hair is so long that it is a chatzitzah for

    hilchos tefillin then one is permitted to take a

    haircut. It is permitted for the one who is making

    a bris (father of the child), the mohel, and

    sandek to shave for the bris, until the week of

    Tisha B ’av.A chosson during his sheva

    berochos is permitted to shave since it is like a

    Yom Tov for him. The opinion of some poskim

    is to be lenient for a bar-mitzvah boy to take a

    haircut if the bar-mitzvah is before the week that

    Tisha B’av falls out, but other say this should

    not be done, and this is the custom of many.

    Cutting Nails

    One is permitted to cut nails during the three

    weeks. A mohel is permitted to cut his nail in

    order to perform a bris more efficiently.

    Reciting a Shehechiyanu and Buying New

    Items

    It is a good practice to refrain from reciting a

    shehechiyanu on a fruit or garment during the

    three weeks (until the tenth of Av) (please note

    the below discussion only pertains to a fruit or

    garment that requires a shehechiyanu to be

    recited according to halacha. In addition this

    discussion is not referring to the nine days

    where the halachos are more stringent). Some

    say the custom is only to refrain from a

    shehechiyanu from the nine days (see below)

    but not before. The reason for the custom is

    since this time is a time of “unpleasant

    occurrences” it is not the time to say the beracha

    of shehechiyanu where we mention being

    brought to this time. A woman who is expecting

    is allowed to eat a fruit even if she will have to

    make a shehechiyanu on it since if she wants a

    food and does not have it there can be a danger.

    From the fact that one should not recite a

    shehechiyanu during these days, we learn that

    one should also not buy any clothing which

    would require him to recite a shehechiyanu.

    Some say one who mistakenly recited a beracha

    rishona on a fruit which requires a shehechiyanu

    should recite a shehechiyanu on it before eating

    it. According to the above, one would be

    permitted to buy a chashuv item during the three

    weeks as long as no shehechiyanu is recited on

    its purchase. Some still say that something

    which is “chashuv” should not be bought during

    this time. A sefer that one does not recite a

    shehechiyanu on (not chashuv, or according to

    those poskim that no shehechiyanu is recited on

    seforim) is permitted to be bought until Rosh

    Chodesh Av. Some say if avoiding the purchase

    of an item will cause a loss, one should just give

    a down payment for it and pay the rest after the

    three weeks, others are more lenient. Some say

    an item which one does not wear when he buys

    it (i.e. clothing which requires alternation) and

    he would recite a shehechiyanu when wearing it,

    would be permitted to buy during the three

    weeks in order to wear it after Tisha B’av. A

    new garment which one bought before the three

    weeks and recited a shehechiyanu on it

    (according to those who say a shehechiyanu is

    not recited at the time of wearing but at the time

    of the purchase) at that time is permitted to wear

    it for the first time until Rosh Chodesh Av. One

    is permitted to recite a shehechiyanu on a

    mitzvah such as a pidyon habenor bris. In

    addition, one is permitted to recite hatov

    v’hameitiv during the entire three weeks. For

    example, one is permitted to buy a car until

    Rosh Chodesh Av if it will be used for his

    family. One who gives birth to a girl may recite

    a shehechiyanyu, even if the girl is born during

    the three weeks. Some have the custom that one

    should refrain from moving into a new home

    during the three weeks.

    Gifts

    Some say one is permitted to give a gift to

    someone during the entire three weeks if it is

    something which one does not recite a

    shehechiyanu on.

    Avoiding Danger

    The poskim mention of few actions to refrain

    from the entire three weeks period because of

    danger involved. We will begin to discuss them

    below. During the three weeks a Rebbe should

    be careful not to hit his students, and a parent

    should not hit their child even with a strap, and

    even the slightest hit. Some say this is only

    referring to a hit in a place which can be danger

    to the child. The time frame is from the

    beginning of the fourth hour until the end of the

    ninth hour of the day (in the summer it is

    approx. from 11:00am – 2:00 pm), while others

    say it is a whole day. Some say there is no

    concern in a room which has a mezuzah. One

    should be careful not to walk by himself outside

    of the city between the beginning of the fourth

    hour until the end of the ninth hour of the day (in

    the summer it is approx. from 11:00am – 2:00

    pm). In addition any place where people

    frequent it is permitted. One should not walk

    between the sun and the shade during the three

    weeks, but this is only for a long period of time.

    The whole concern is in the same place, but to

    walk from sun to shade is permitted. Some say

    one should be careful not to sit or sleep in the

    shade of the sun during this time. One should

    avoid having surgery during the three weeks if

    pushing it off until after the three weeks is

    possible.

    Swimming – Three Weeks (not including

    nine days)

    Some have the custom to refrain from

    swimming during the three weeks. However, the

    custom is to go swimming until Rosh Chodesh

    Av. Nonetheless, one should avoid swimming in

    dangerous places.