15 Aug THE UPSHERIN

A male child’s first
haircut is called an
upsherin, which
is taken from the
German words
“sherr” (cut) and
“up” (off). It is also
called chalakah. The
mitzvah accomplished
by cutting the hair is
forming peyos on the
child. The Chinuch says the mitzvah of
peyos removes us from the goyim. Others
say the reason to cut their hair to form peyos
is to train the child not to go in the ways of
the goyim who grow their hair long. When
cutting the hair one should have in mind
to fulfill the mitzvah of peyos harosh. The
reason for the simcha on the day of the
haircut is because the child is beginning to
fulfill the mitzvah of having peyos.
Different Ages
There are many different customs as to
the age that one cuts his child’s hair. Some
have the custom not to wait at all, and cut
the child’s hair as it grows. Others have the
custom to wait until child is nine months
old. Others cut the child’s hair at two years,
since this is generally when the child is
weaned. Some even wait until four or five
years old before cutting the child’s hair.
However, many have the custom to cut the
child’s hair when the child reaches the age
of three. Some say the reason for this age is
because just as the first three years of fruits
are off limits and the fruits of the fourth go
to Hashem, a child is also “off limits” in his
first three years since he can not speak as
well, and in the fourth year when he begins
to speak he is dedicated to Hashem.
Day or Night
Based on the writings of the Arizal hair
should not be cut after mincha gedolah.
Some say the reason for this is because
we are scared one would forget to daven
mincha. At an upsherin this is usually not

the case since there is a minyan made before
or after the haircut. Others say the upsherin
should be done in the morning. However,
many Gedolim cut the hair of a child at
night, and in fact this seems to be the custom
of many people.
Cutting the Hair Earlier and Later
There is a discussion in the poskim if those
who hold one makes the upsherin when
the child turns three are allowed to make it
earlier or later. Many say that one should only
cut the hair on the day the child turns three
years old. The Chazzon Ish says making the
upsherin earlier than it is supposed to be is
not good for the success of the child and does
damage to him. It would seem the reason
is because you are making the child wear
something when he is not ready for it, and it
may cause him to hate mitzvahs. However,
there are some poskim who maintain that
one may make the upsherin earlier than the
child’s third birthday.
If the child’s hair is so long that it causes the
child pain then one is permitted to cut the
hair before the child’s third birthday.
When the day to cut the child’s hair falls out
on Shabbos, the hair may be cut on Friday,
while others say that it should be pushed off
until Sunday.
Where to make the Upsherin
There is a discussion in the poskim if one
is allowed to cut a child’s hair in a shul.
Many say that doing so is permitted, while
others hold it may not be done. It would
seem that if one will not be giving the child
a complete haircut one is permitted to do it
in a shul even according to those who are
stringent. L’maseh, even if one only cuts
a little bit of hair it should not be done in
shul. If the upsherin must take place in shul
it would be better to perform the upsherin in
the women’s section.
Hundreds, if not thousands of people, cut
their children’s hair in Meron on Lag B’omer,
as was the custom of the Arizal. Some say
the reason is so that the holiness of Rav
Shimon Bar Yochai will be a zechus for the
child. Others say the reason is because hair
is part of the yetzer hara which was taught
to us by Rav Shimon Bar Yochai when he
gave us the Zohar. Many have the custom
to go to Meron to cut a child’s hair even
before the child turns three. Others say one
should only wait to go to Meron if the child
was born during sefira. If the child was
born after Shavuos or before sefira then one
should not go to Meron to cut his hair.
On Thursday
The Taz is of the opinion that taking a
haircut (or cut one nails) on Thursday is
not an honor for Shabbos since the hair

will grow on Shabbos. Many poskim argue
with the Taz, and permit taking a haircut
on Thursday. Accordingly, if the child’s
birthday is on Thursday one is permitted to
have the upsherin.
Rosh Chodesh
Some say if a child’s upsherin falls out on
Rosh Chodesh one should push it off to a
different day.
Ben Hashmushos
A child who is born during ben hashmushos
should have his upsherin the day after his
birthday. A child who was born after shekia
and before ben hashmushos should have his
upsherin on his birthday.
Chol Hamoed
A child who was born on Chol Hamoed may
have his upsherin on Chol Hamoed. If a
child was born the last days of Yom Tov one
may cut the child’s hair on Chol Hamoed if
he so desires.
Ben Hametzarim- The Three Weeks
There is a discussion in the poskim if a child
born during the three weeks may have his
hair cut during this time. The minhag seems
to be that one can cut his hair unless it is the
week of Tisha B’av.
Who should cut the Hair?
One should explain to the child what will be
taking place during his haircut.
It is proper for the father of the child to be
present and cut the child’s hair since he is
obligated in the mitzvah. The custom seems
to be that the mother of the child does not
cut the hair. Many people have the custom
to go around to different tzadikim on the day
the child’s hair is cut so the tzadik can cut
off some hair. Some say there is no source
for one to go to different tzadikim to cut the
child’s hair. One should invite relatives to
cut the hair.
It is very important for the people who are
cutting to know where and where not to cut,
to make sure that the place of the peyos is
not cut in a forbidden manner.
One should not take a haircut with a goyisha
barber. The reason is because we are
concerned the goy may kill him. If there is
a mirror so one can watch the goy, or there
are other people present then it is permitted.
Some say if the goy is getting paid it is
permitted. However, many say that based on
reasons of kabbalah one should not take a
haircut from a goy.
A child who is getting his first haircut should
not take it from a goy. The Sdei Chemed says
there is no simcha if the child’s hair is cut by
a goy. This is especially true since a child on
the day of his upsherin is not supposed to see

a goy (as will be discussed later)..
How to Begin Cutting
Before the hair is cut one should gather the
peyos to make sure they are not accidentally
cut. Generally one should use scissors to cut.
Some people have the custom to start cutting
in the place of the tefillin.
Minhagim after the Haircut
After one cuts hair he is obligated to wash his
hands, this is even if he is cutting someone
else’s hair. There is a discussion in the
poskim if one is required to wash his hands
after cutting a child’s hair at an uphserin,
since only a little bit of hair is cut before
going to a barber to cut the rest of the hair. It
would seem that the people who only cut a
little bit of the hair are not required to wash
their hands afterwards. The child himself
should wash his hands after receiving his
upsherin.
What to do with the Hair
Many have the custom to place the cut hair
in a bag before throwing it out. One should
not throw the cut hair on to the floor. Some
take the hair and see how much it is worth
in gold and give that money to tzedaka, and
this is a segula that the child will be a talmid
chachum. Others place the hair in shaimos.
The Simcha
One should make a party (and invite many
guests) to celebrate his being able to train
his child in the mitzvah of peyos by being
able to give him a upsherin. One should also
give shevach to Hashem for giving him this
opportunity. If possible, the party should be
made with music, etc. Many have the custom
to distribute schnapps and cake on the day
one is zocheh to give his child an upsherin..
Wearing a Yarmulka
Wearing a yarmulka brings a person to fear
Hashem, and protects one from sinning.
The word yarmulka (in Hebrew) stands for
“yure malka” fear of the king. Some poskim
are of the opinion that a young child should
wear a yarmulka even before his upsherin.
However, the custom of most people is for
the child to begin wearing a yarmulka on the
day he turns three, even though the inyun
of wearing a yarmulka i s not related to the

inyun of an uphse rin. Therefore, if for some
reason one does not cut the child’s hair on
the day he turns three, the yarmulke should
still be placed on the child. One should
train his child not to remove his yarmulka
throughout the day.
Tzitzis
The custom is that a child does not wear
tzitzis until he turns three.
Although the tzitzis have no connection
to the yarmulka or the upsherin, they are
still put on for the first time the same day.
Therefore, one who does not get his hair
cut on his third birthday should still begin
wearing tzitzis on that day.
Going to Cheder
It is customary that on the day the child’s
hair is cut he is taken to cheder where a
rebbe performs many different customs.
Some say if for some reason the child’s hair
is not cut on his third birthday he should still
be brought to the cheder, while others say
this should not be done.
The day the child goes to cheder is like the
day the Torah was given to klal yisroel, and
one should choose a rebbe who is a G-d
fearing person. Although the child may

begin learning with a morah one should still
go to a rebbe on the day of the upsherin.
The day the child goes to cheder his hands
should be washed netiylas yudayim. The
child should be cleaned from any dirt on
his body, and should be dressed in Shabbos
clothes.
Carrying the Child
The custom is for the father to be the one
to bring the child to cheder. When going
with the child to cheder the child should be
covered. Although the seforim do not quote
a custom to wrap a child in a tallis on the day
he goes to cheder, the minhag is to cover him
with a tallis. The child is covered to ensure
that he does not see any impure things (such
as a dog, horse, or goy) on the day of his
upsherin (if he goes to cheder that same
day). The child should also be covered after
he leaves the cheder. Others have the custom
only to cover the child when he is going to
cheder but not when he leaves.
Seder of Learning
At the cheder the child should be put on the
rebbes lap. Using a luach with letters of the
aleph bais written on it, the rebbe should
read each letter with the child repeating after
him. Some read the letters in the reverse

order starting with Tuf, Shin, Reish, Kuf. A
child who does not want to repeat after the
rebbe does not have to be forced to do so.
The rebbe should say Torah Tzivah Luno
Moshe, and Torah Teheiy Umnuseiy…
Some also say Hamalach Hagoel, the first
posuk of Krias Shema, and the first posuk of
Parshas Vayikra.
Even if the child’s hair was not cut on the
day of his third birthday, he should still be
taught the aforementioned pesukim.
The rebbe should place honey on the letters
and allow the child to lick the honey off
of the letters. Before licking the honey a
shehakol should be recited on the honey.
The reason for licking the honey is a simon
that the Torah should be as sweet as honey
to the child. Some put the honey only on
the letters of aleph, mem and tuf (the letters
of emes). If one can’t find a luach or siddur
with the aleph bais to read from, one may
write the letters on a piece of paper or on a
blackboard.
The Piece of Cake
One should bring a piece of cake to the child
made from honey. This cake is eaten to open
his heart to the Torah. Some write pesukim
on the piece of cake, while others say this

should not be done because one is erasing
Torah. Many poskim mention the inyun of
eating the cake but do not mention writing
pesukim on it. It would seem that one should
do whichever way he feels, however it seems
most people do not have the custom to place
pesukim on the cake.
Egg
Some mention the custom to give the child
a boiled egg to open the child’s heart to the
Torah.
Candies
The child should distribute bags of candies
to the children in the cheder.