17 Jun THE UPSHERIN

A male child’s first
haircut is called an
upsherin, which is
taken from the German
words “sherr” (cut)
and “up” (off). It is
also called chalakah. The
mitzvah accomplished by
cutting the hair is forming
peyos on the child. The
Chinuch says the mitzvah
of peyos removes us from
the goyim. Others say the reason to cut their
hair to form peyos is to train the child not to go
in the ways of the goyim who grow their hair
long. When cutting the hair one should have in
mind to fulfill the mitzvah of peyos harosh. The
reason for the simcha on the day of the haircut
is because the child is beginning to fulfill the
mitzvah of having peyos.
Different Ages There are many different
customs as to the age that one cuts his child’s
hair. Some have the custom not to wait at all,
and cut the child’s hair as it grows. Others have
the custom to wait until child is nine months old.
Others cut the child’s hair at two years, since
this is generally when the child is weaned. Some
even wait until four or five years old before
cutting the child’s hair. However, many have
the custom to cut the child’s hair when the child
reaches the age of three. Some say the reason for
this age is because just as the first three years of
fruits are off limits and the fruits of the fourth go
to Hashem, a child is also “off limits” in his first
three years since he can not speak as well, and
in the fourth year when he begins to speak he is
dedicated to Hashem.
Day or Night Based on the writings of the Arizal
hair should not be cut after mincha gedolah.
Some say the reason for this is because we are
scared one would forget to daven mincha. At an
upsherin this is usually not the case since there
is a minyan made before or after the haircut.
Others say the upsherin should be done in the
morning. However, many Gedolim cut the hair
of a child at night, and in fact this seems to be
the custom of many people.
Cutting the Hair Earlier and Later There is a
discussion in the poskim if those who hold one
makes the upsherin when the child turns three
are allowed to make it earlier or later. Many
say that one should only cut the hair on the day
the child turns three years old. The Chazzon
Ish says making the upsherin earlier than it is
supposed to be is not good for the success of the
child and does damage to him. It would seem
the reason is because you are making the child
wear something when he is not ready for it, and
it may cause him to hate mitzvahs. However,
there are some poskim who maintain that one
may make the upsherin earlier than the child’s
third birthday.
If the child’s hair is so long that it causes the
child pain then one is permitted to cut the hair
before the child’s third birthday.
When the day to cut the child’s hair falls out on
Shabbos, the hair may be cut on Friday, while
others say that it should be pushed off until
Sunday.
Where to make the Upsherin There is a

discussion in the poskim if one is allowed to cut
a child’s hair in a shul. Many say that doing so is
permitted, while others hold it may not be done.
It would seem that if one will not be giving
the child a complete haircut one is permitted
to do it in a shul even according to those who
are stringent. L’maseh, even if one only cuts a
little bit of hair it should not be done in shul. If
the upsherin must take place in shul it would be
better to perform the upsherin in the women’s
section.
Hundreds, if not thousands of people, cut their
children’s hair in Meron on Lag B’omer, as was
the custom of the Arizal. Some say the reason is
so that the holiness of Rav Shimon Bar Yochai
will be a zechus for the child. Others say the
reason is because hair is part of the yetzer hara
which was taught to us by Rav Shimon Bar
Yochai when he gave us the Zohar. Many have
the custom to go to Meron to cut a child’s hair
even before the child turns three. Others say one
should only wait to go to Meron if the child was
born during sefira. If the child was born after
Shavuos or before sefira then one should not go
to Meron to cut his hair.
On Thursday The Taz is of the opinion that
taking a haircut (or cut one nails) on Thursday
is not an honor for Shabbos since the hair will
grow on Shabbos. Many poskim argue with the
Taz, and permit taking a haircut on Thursday.
Accordingly, if the child’s birthday is on
Thursday one is permitted to have the upsherin.
Rosh Chodesh Some say if a child’s upsherin
falls out on Rosh Chodesh one should push it off
to a different day.
Ben Hashmushos A child who is born during
ben hashmushos should have his upsherin the
day after his birthday. A child who was born
after shekia and before ben hashmushos should
have his upsherin on his birthday.
Chol Hamoed A child who was born on
Chol Hamoed may have his upsherin on Chol
Hamoed. If a child was born the last days of
Yom Tov one may cut the child’s hair on Chol
Hamoed if he so desires.
Ben Hametzarim- The Three Weeks There is
a discussion in the poskim if a child born during
the three weeks may have his hair cut during this
time. The minhag seems to be that one can cut
his hair unless it is the week of Tisha B’av.
Who should cut the Hair? One should explain
to the child what will be taking place during his
haircut.
It is proper for the father of the child to be present
and cut the child’s hair since he is obligated in
the mitzvah. The custom seems to be that the
mother of the child does not cut the hair. Many
people have the custom to go around to different
tzadikim on the day the child’s hair is cut so the
tzadik can cut off some hair. Some say there is
no source for one to go to different tzadikim to
cut the child’s hair. One should invite relatives
to cut the hair.
It is very important for the people who are
cutting to know where and where not to cut, to
make sure that the place of the peyos is not cut
in a forbidden manner.
One should not take a haircut with a goyisha
barber. The reason is because we are concerned
the goy may kill him. If there is a mirror so one

can watch the goy, or there are other people
present then it is permitted. Some say if the
goy is getting paid it is permitted. However,
many say that based on reasons of kabbalah one
should not take a haircut from a goy.
A child who is getting his first haircut should not
take it from a goy. The Sdei Chemed says there
is no simcha if the child’s hair is cut by a goy.
This is especially true since a child on the day of
his upsherin is not supposed to see a goy (as will
be discussed later)..
How to Begin Cutting Before the hair is cut one
should gather the peyos to make sure they are
not accidentally cut. Generally one should use
scissors to cut. Some people have the custom to
start cutting in the place of the tefillin.
Minhagim after the Haircut After one cuts
hair he is obligated to wash his hands, this is
even if he is cutting someone else’s hair. There
is a discussion in the poskim if one is required
to wash his hands after cutting a child’s hair at
an uphserin, since only a little bit of hair is cut
before going to a barber to cut the rest of the
hair. It would seem that the people who only cut
a little bit of the hair are not required to wash
their hands afterwards. The child himself should
wash his hands after receiving his upsherin.
What to do with the Hair Many have the
custom to place the cut hair in a bag before
throwing it out. One should not throw the cut
hair on to the floor. Some take the hair and
see how much it is worth in gold and give that
money to tzedaka, and this is a segula that the
child will be a talmid chachum. Others place the
hair in shaimos.
The Simcha One should make a party (and
invite many guests) to celebrate his being able
to train his child in the mitzvah of peyos by
being able to give him a upsherin. One should
also give shevach to Hashem for giving him
this opportunity. If possible, the party should be
made with music, etc. Many have the custom to
distribute schnapps and cake on the day one is
zocheh to give his child an upsherin..
Wearing a Yarmulka Wearing a yarmulka
brings a person to fear Hashem, and protects one
from sinning. The word yarmulka (in Hebrew)
stands for “yure malka” fear of the king.
Some poskim are of the opinion that a young
child should wear a yarmulka even before his
upsherin. However, the custom of most people
is for the child to begin wearing a yarmulka on
the day he turns three, even though the inyun of
wearing a yarmulka i s not related to the inyun
of an uphse rin. Therefore, if for some reason
one does not cut the child’s hair on the day he
turns three, the yarmulke should still be placed
on the child. One should train his child not to
remove his yarmulka throughout the day.
Tzitzis The custom is that a child does not wear
tzitzis until he turns three.
Although the tzitzis have no connection to the
yarmulka or the upsherin, they are still put on for
the first time the same day. Therefore, one who
does not get his hair cut on his third birthday
should still begin wearing tzitzis on that day.
Going to Cheder It is customary that on the day
the child’s hair is cut he is taken to cheder where
a rebbe performs many different customs. Some
say if for some reason the child’s hair is not cut

on his third birthday he should still be brought
to the cheder, while others say this should not
be done.
The day the child goes to cheder is like the day
the Torah was given to klal yisroel, and one
should choose a rebbe who is a G-d fearing
person. Although the child may begin learning
with a morah one should still go to a rebbe on
the day of the upsherin.
The day the child goes to cheder his hands
should be washed netiylas yudayim. The child
should be cleaned from any dirt on his body, and
should be dressed in Shabbos clothes.
Carrying the Child The custom is for the father
to be the one to bring the child to cheder. When
going with the child to cheder the child should
be covered. Although the seforim do not quote a
custom to wrap a child in a tallis on the day he
goes to cheder, the minhag is to cover him with a
tallis. The child is covered to ensure that he does
not see any impure things (such as a dog, horse,
or goy) on the day of his upsherin (if he goes to
cheder that same day). The child should also be
covered after he leaves the cheder. Others have
the custom only to cover the child when he is
going to cheder but not when he leaves.
Seder of Learning At the cheder the child
should be put on the rebbes lap. Using a luach
with letters of the aleph bais written on it, the
rebbe should read each letter with the child
repeating after him. Some read the letters in the
reverse order starting with Tuf, Shin, Reish, Kuf.
A child who does not want to repeat after the
rebbe does not have to be forced to do so. The
rebbe should say Torah Tzivah Luno Moshe,
and Torah Teheiy Umnuseiy… Some also say
Hamalach Hagoel, the first posuk of Krias
Shema, and the first posuk of Parshas Vayikra.
Even if the child’s hair was not cut on the day of
his third birthday, he should still be taught the
aforementioned pesukim.
The rebbe should place honey on the letters
and allow the child to lick the honey off of the
letters. Before licking the honey a shehakol
should be recited on the honey. The reason
for licking the honey is a simon that the Torah
should be as sweet as honey to the child. Some
put the honey only on the letters of aleph, mem
and tuf (the letters of emes). If one can’t find a
luach or siddur with the aleph bais to read from,
one may write the letters on a piece of paper or
on a blackboard.
The Piece of Cake One should bring a piece of
cake to the child made from honey. This cake
is eaten to open his heart to the Torah. Some
write pesukim on the piece of cake, while others
say this should not be done because one is
erasing Torah. Many poskim mention the inyun
of eating the cake but do not mention writing
pesukim on it. It would seem that one should do
whichever way he feels, however it seems most
people do not have the custom to place pesukim
on the cake.
Egg Some mention the custom to give the child
a boiled egg to open the child’s heart to the
Torah.
Candies The child should distribute bags of
candies to the children in the cheder.