02 Jul THE WISE AND THE FOOLISH

I was running errands, when a woman I did
not recognize approached me. “Are you
Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis’ daughter?” When I
proudly answered, “Yes”, she continued. “You
don’t know me, but your mother helped me. I
want to share my story with you.”
“I was contemplating divorce. My life was
going in one direction, my husband’s in
another. I reached out to your mother for
advice.”
“Though the hour was late, your mother gave
me all the time I needed. I told her how I was
becoming more religious, while my husband
was on another page. All I asked from him
was to come to the Shabbos table, make
kiddush, hamotzie, and spend time with our
kids. He would come for a few minutes. No
kiddush, no hamotzie. He would eat something
and retreat to the den to watch TV. The kids
would follow him – they love to watch. It
would end up with one big fight. The Shabbos
I dreamed of evolved into arguments, and I
would go to my bedroom and cry into my
pillow. This scenario would play out over and
over again, every Shabbos, week after week.
My husband is otherwise a good man. Is it
reason for divorce?”

“The Rebbetzin gave me the best advice. She
told me to set a beautiful Shabbos table. Make
everyone’s favorite dishes – including my
husband’s. To not even ask him to make
kiddush, but that I should make kiddush and
bless the children. To spend time at the table
speaking to them about how their week was.
To shower the kids with lots of love and
understanding, and with time, your mother
said, the kids will remain at the table where
their mother gives them attention, rather than
sitting in silence, watching a show.”
“Your mother warned me – no arguments.
Make Shabbos a special time your children
will look forward to, and eventually, so will
your husband.”
“I listened. I blessed the children, made
kiddush and hamotzie. The kids stayed, and
with time, my husband joined. He came
around.”
“Your mother saved my marriage. Today, we
sit as a family. My husband at the head of the
table. We have a beautiful Shabbos and a
beautiful marriage.”
“Chochmas nashim bonsah beisah, The wise
among women builds her home, v’eeve’less
b’yadeh’ha seh’her’seh’nu, but the foolish
one tears it down with her own hands.”
(Mishlei 14:1) Rashi comments that the

“wise” one refers to the wife of
Ohn ben Peles, while the
“foolish” one is the wife of
Korach.
This Shabbos, we read Parshas
Korach. Korach was a member
of Shevet Levi, a cousin of
Moshe and Aaron. He was
blessed with so much. Korach
held a prestigious position, and
was honored with being one of
the carriers of the Aron. He was
wealthy and influential,
successful in his own right. But
for Korach, it was not enough.
He wanted more. He wanted to
be a leader. He was consumed
by a toxic jealousy of Moshe
and Aaron.
Korach approached Moshe, saying “We are all
tzadikim. Why are you our leader, rabbeinu,
and Aaron the Kohein Gadol?”
Korach was an influential orator, who was
able to convince two-hundred-and-fifty others
to join his rebellion. Amongst his followers
was Ohn ben Peles, from the tribe of Reuven.
Ohn promises his allegiance to Korach and his
cause – a rebellion against Moshe.
Ohn comes home and shares the goings-on
with his wife. The chochmah of a woman…
a woman’s wisdom. She realizes that this is
all about Korach’s insatiable jealousy, and
knows that nothing good will come from it.
She wants to protect her husband from
being part of this insurrection that was
doomed to failure. She appealed to her
husband’s emotions, and explains to Ohn
that no matter the outcome, he will remain
Ohn. If Korach steps in as the leader, Ohn
will still be Ohn. If Moshe’s leadership is
confirmed, he will also be just plain Ohn.
After Ohn’s eyes were opened as to what he
allowed himself to be dragged into, he
realizes his error.
But Ohn reveals to his wife that he has a
problem. He had made a commitment to
Korach to join his cause. “What will I do
when they come to get me”, he asks her.
“No worries” was her reply, “I have it all
figured out”. So Ohn’s wife offers him
wine… and more wine…. He falls into a
deep slumber.
Eishes Ohn ben Peles, the wife of Ohn,
positions herself at the opening of their tent,
with her hair uncovered. Knowing that
Korach’s followers are all inherently
righteous people, and will not approach the
tent while she sat there with her hair out,
she saved her husband from a tragic end.
“And a foolish woman tears it down.” This
is written about Korach’s wife. She, like her
husband, was consumed with jealousy. She
looked at Tzipora, wife of Moshe, with

envy. Just as Korach desired to be the leader,
his wife was ready to be the “first lady”. With
foolishness, she thought that prestigious
positions would make both her and her
husband happy.
Not true. We must create our own happiness.
A powerful position is no guarantee for a
happy life.
It is no coincidence that this week’s chapter of
Pirkei Avos includes the mishnah regarding
jealousy. “Ha’kinah, ha’ta’avah, v’ha’kovod
motzi’in es ha’adam min ha’olam, Jealousy,
lust and seeking honor remove a person from
this world.” (Pirkei Avos 4:28) Powerful
emotions, if not channeled properly, lead to
one’s downfall, separating a person from
reality. Clouding one’s mind, and creating a
situation where one can’t make proper
decisions.
The mishnah is teaching us a vital lesson. Not
only do such characteristics impact one
emotionally and spiritually, but can even
physically remove one from the world around
him. Anxiety, high blood pressure, even heart
failure and strokes, can at times be attributed
to the pressures we place upon ourselves due
to unbridled “jealousy, lust and seeking
honor”.
Korach created machlokes, disagreement,
inner fighting. Machlokes comes from the
word l’chalek, to separate. Additionally, I
have seen it brought down from an anonymous
source, that the letters of machlokes (mem,
ches, lamed, vov, kuf, suf) can be re-arranged
to form two words – chelek (ches, lamed, kuf)
and maves (mem, vov, suf), a portion of death.
By instigating discord, by choosing to separate
oneself from the community, instead of
earning the chelek of Olam Ha’bah, one
brings upon himself the chelek of maves.
Reading Parshas Korach should remind all of
us about the importance of unity, cohesiveness,
and respecting our leaders. It should also
make us realize how destructive and damaging
discord and machlokes can be.
Let’s take the high road…. Always.