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    TMI

    Have I got news for you… Want to hear the
    latest… Did you hear what she did? Do you
    know what he said? I shouldn’t be sharing
    this, but… practically everyone knows
    anyways.
    And so begins the treacherous trail of lashon
    hara. Gossip, slanderous talk, derogatory
    statements, be it true or not, public knowledge
    or confidential information… it’s all lashon
    hara.
    This Shabbos, we read the double Torah
    portions, Tazria and Metzora, which include
    the laws regarding one afflicted with tzoraas, a
    blemish that, in biblical times, appeared upon
    the skin of one who spoke lashon hara. A
    physical response to the spiritual ailment of
    harmful speech.
    The word metzora comes from the term
    “motzi (shem) ra”. Literally, one who gives a
    bad name to another through slanderous
    gossip.
    Spots start popping up on one’s skin. Its
    appearance would hopefully stop the speaker
    in his tracks. A sign to be careful with one’s
    words. While tzoraas is a punishment, the

    mere fear of contracting it protected our
    ancestors from falling into the trap of lashon
    hara
    The Lubavitcher Rebbe teaches that tzoraas
    should be understood as a lesson to help a
    person correct his ways and experience a
    spiritual rebirth.
    While the physical affliction of tzoraas no
    longer exists, its message remains strong and
    relevant. HaShem gifted us with the power of
    speech, and we must choose our words wisely.
    Once said, words cannot be taken back. There
    is a well-known tale of a man who went to his
    rabbi seeking advice. He spoke lashon hara,
    damaging another’s reputation. The rabbi
    instructed him to take a sack of feathers and
    scatter them in the town square, and then
    report back to him.
    No problem, the simple-minded man thought.
    This I can do. An easy way to make amends.
    He followed the rabbi’s instructions and
    returned to him. “Now, go collect the
    feathers”, the rabbi instructed.
    “Impossible”, the man said. “By now, they
    have all blown away”.
    “Ah”, said the rabbi. “Just as you can’t collect
    the feathers, so it is impossible to take back

    your words. Like feathers, words
    travel, and like feathers, they cannot
    be retrieved”.
    The Talmud in Arachin has an
    extensive discussion amongst the
    sages about the severity of lashon
    hara. “Rabbi Yishmael taught,
    ‘Whoever speaks lashon hara is
    guilty of a wrongdoing equivalent
    to the three cardinal sins: idol
    worship, illicit relations and
    murder.’ ” Strong words that should
    make one think before speaking.
    In today’s fast-paced, hi-tech world,
    emails, texts, WhatsApp and social
    media have made gossip instantly
    available to be read and heard. With
    one click – one “send all” –
    information proliferates easily and
    travels exponentially. Once you
    push that button, it is impossible to
    control how far and wide the words travel.
    Additionally, thanks to smartphone technology
    at our side, it has become so easy to take
    pictures and videos wherever we are, and of
    whomever and whatever we desire. These
    pictures and clips are shared, very often
    without the knowledge of the subject, and
    without considering the ramifications of
    simply dumping information into the public
    arena.
    Language is life. Words can be both creative
    and destructive. Words can be used to spread
    goodness or bring pain and sorrow. As
    Shlomo HaMelech says, “Maves v’chaim
    b’yad loshon, Death and life are in the hand
    of the tongue”. (Mishlei
    8:21). Our words can be used to build,
    encourage, console and provide confidence.
    Or, they can be used to tear down, diminish
    and destroy. The decision is ours to make.
    The Chofetz Chaim is quoted as saying
    “Before you speak against someone else,
    think how you would like it, if someone said
    the same thing about you.”
    One must think: Is there a chance that my
    words may be hurtful or damaging? Am I
    embarrassing someone with my words? Am
    I revealing another’s confidences, sharing
    private info? The Rambam teaches in
    Hilchos Dayos, that lashon hara hurts not
    just the person being spoken about, but also
    has a negative spiritual effect on the speaker
    as well as on the listener. Honestly, no one
    walks away from lashon hara with a good
    feeling.
    In poll of 1,000 people, 51% answered that
    the #1 buzz with friends was about other
    people’s relationships. And 59% admitted
    their kids have repeated something they
    heard their parents gossiping about. What
    does that say about the world we live in, and
    what does that indicate about the role models
    we are for our children.

    It’s not always easy to break away from the
    habit of speaking lashon hara. To be the one to
    change the conversation, when it becomes
    negative and is about someone else. In fact, it
    takes much strength and willpower. But
    HaShem never asks the impossible from us.
    We have the capacity to do it, bringing
    blessing not only to our own lives, but to the
    lives of those around us.
    Tzoraas is called a nega, an affliction. The
    Hebrew word nega, is spelled nun, gimmel,
    ayin. If we rearrange the order of the letters to
    ayin, nun, gimmel, we have the word oneg, an
    occasion of pleasure and delight. With our
    words, we can change nega to oneg, affliction
    to pleasure. All we have to do is put the ayin
    first. The word ayin, means an eye. First and
    foremost, we must look at others with an ayin
    tov, a good eye, to see the positive in others, to
    be genuinely happy for them. When we fargin
    others, it creates a barrier in our mind that
    prevents us from speaking negatively. See the
    good and you will experience oneg, the
    blessing of joy.
    In the sefer Aleinu L’Shabeach, Rabbi
    Yitzchok Zilberstein relates a teaching from
    the Chofetz Chaim. The Chofetz Chaim said
    that before Rosh HaShana, people try to
    engage in self-improvement, and take on extra
    mitzvos. One highly effective way to ensure
    that one has a good year, and merits a positive
    Heavenly judgment, is to commit not speak or
    listen to lashon hara. If one finds the strength
    to not speak negatively about others, and
    speaks words of kindness and understanding,
    the malochim, the angels above, will find
    kind, good words to say about him.
    It’s never too late to make it a lashon hara free
    year. We can start now. We can make our
    home, our Shabbos table, our daily
    conversations, lashon hara free. In that merit,
    may we see many brachos and yeshuos for
    ourselves, our loved ones, and all of Klal
    Yisroel.