17 Jan VAERA: THE INFLUENCE OF FRIENDS

When my grandfather
conducted a tisch, he
would often repeat over
and over again: “There

is no hope for me – oth-
er than teshuvah… It is

time to do teshvuah…
The time has come to do
teshuvah…” He spoke
to himself, but his

words inspired every-
one present to do tes-
huvah.

After the ticsh, he
would shake the
bachurim’s hands and
would bless them,
“Learn the holy Torah
and be healthy.”
One time, the Rebbe took the hand of one of
the bachurim and said, “Why is your hand so
cold? What happened to you?” Then the
Rebbe added, “Have good friends, study
Gemara, and be healthy.”
The bachur left the Rebbe’s room ashamed
and devastated. The gabaim tried to calm the
distraught bachur. They said, “The Rebbe is
very weak, and he’s sensitive to cold.
Apparently, your hands were cold.”
The bachur replied, “The Rebbe knows

exactly what he was saying, and his words
were on target.” I was with this bachur when
we returned to our yeshiva, Yeshivas Ponoviz.
We were still outside the yeshiva building
when one of his close friends came over and
greeted him. The bachur replied, “I was just
with Rebbe Moshe Mordechai. He held my
hand for five minutes, asking me why my
hands were cold. Then he told me that I
should have good friends, learn Gemara, and
be healthy. This means that we cannot be
friends anymore.”
That boy wasn’t an ideal friend for him, and
the Rebbe was hinting that he should break
up that friendship. Years later, the bad nature
of that friend became known to all. And then
I understood why the Rebbe warned him to
have good friends.
The Ahavas Yisrael fo Viznitz would often
say, “One must be good to everyone, but not
with everyone.” Be kind to all, but don’t
spend too much time with them. You must
choose your friends carefully.
The Shlah Hakadosh writes that חבר can also
be spelled בחר] to choose], or חרב] sword], or
ברח] escape and run away]. The Shlah
Hakadosh explains: One should be a friend
(חבר ( to those who choose ( בחר ( to be good.
But from those whose deeds are harmful like
a sword (חרב ,(one should run away ( ברח (

and keep a distance.
A good friend can do wonders, and a bad
friend can cause destruction. One must
therefore choose his friends very carefully. In
last week’s parashah, Pharaoh said (5:7), לא
longer no will We, “תאספון לתת- לכם תבן
supply straw.” It seems the Torah should have
written, תוספון לא” ,We will no longer.” The
word תאספון with an extra alef, means to
gather.
Rebbe Dovid of Lelov zt’l explains that
Pharaoh sought to destroy the Yidden’s
spirituality. The Midrash tells us that the
Yidden got together every Shabbos in
Mitzrayim to discuss emunah. Pharaoh
understood that these meetings strengthened
their Yiddishkeit, therefore, he decreed לא
תאספון , that they may not gather anymore.
Rebbe Dovid of Lelover said, “I’m certain
that when I go up to heaven, Moshe Rabbeinu
will come out to greet me, to tell me that I
revealed the correct reason he wrote תאספון
with an extra alef.”
When Yidden gather to speak divrei Torah
and to sing songs to Hashem, their hearts
become filled with emunah and yearning for
Hashem.
As the Chinuch (mitzvah 384) writes, “There
is nothing that awakens the heart as much as
songs do.” Tzaddikim from the Ruzin dynasty

told the following mashal: A king wanted to
build a large castle but didn’t have where to
build it. So he instructed his servants to clear
a large area in the forest to make space for
this large edifice.
The servants began cutting, one tree at a time,
but the task was endless, and the work tiring.
There were so many trees. A wise man
suggested to the king, “Instead of cutting
down the trees, just set the forest on fire. The
forest will be cleared in moments.”
Similarly, some people attempt to uproot bad
middos and negative tendencies, one middah
at a time, but that is a long and arduous task.
But if one can light a fire in his heart for
Hashem, all the bad will disappear
automatically.
Similarly, the Sefas Emes (Tzav 5634) writes,
“When one has genuine love for Hashem, it will
burn away all foolish thoughts. And this is the
only effective way to overcome bad thoughts:
to have a constant desire to serve Hashem.”