14 Dec VAYECHI: BRINGING THE WHOLE FAMILY TOGETHER

In Parashat Vayehi, the Torah tells us of Yaakov Avinu’s parting words to his children before his passing. He gathers them all around his bed and gives a blessing to each one.

There’s something curious about this scene. Yaakov has been living in Egypt for seventeen years. He was an old man, who, we can assume, did not do much else than spend time with his children and grandchildren. Yaakov definitely had opportunities to speak with each child individually. Why did he need a formal “family gathering”? Why was it necessary to assemble all his children around him to pronounce his final blessings to them?

Rav Moshe Feinstein answered that there is special power and significance to a family gathering. Having the entire family present makes for a much more impactful experience. It creates a certain energy. One-on-one time is very important, but it is also vitally important to have times when the entire family gathers together.

This is one reason why the Friday night Shabbat table is such a critically important experience. Some people do not appreciate enough the value of Friday night dinner, when the entire family comes together. They come home, make kiddush and eat the challah, and then doze off. They miss a precious opportunity to build the family.

Imagine you own a company, and you send your top salesman to a meeting with representatives from Target, Walmart and Home Depot. This is a golden opportunity, having all these figures of major, multibillion chains in the same room. Your salesman comes back from his trip, and you excitedly ask him for a report.

“So what did they think of our products? Are they interested?” you ask.

“Well,” the salesman said, “it was kind of a long trip. By the time I finally got there and sat down in my chair in the boardroom, I started dozing off.”

How would you feel about your salesman missing this golden opportunity because he was tired?

The family dinner Friday night each week is the most important “meeting” of our life. This is the time to see what’s on all our children’s minds, what they’re excited about, what they’re upset about, what they’re worried about, what they’re interested in. When the entire family is together, there is a special power and energy in the room. This is a precious opportunity that must not be wasted.

I would add that laughter is more important at the Shabbat table than divreh Torah. Of course, divreh Torah are valuable and important. But it’s even more important that there is laughter, good vibes, positive energy and a good feeling. This makes the Shabbat table into a powerful and impactful experience like no other, and helps build and nurture the family, making the home a happy and enjoyable place to be.

Let us treat every Shabbat family meal like a once-in-a-lifetime meeting with the world’s leading corporations, and let us, like Yaakov Avinu, take full advantage of the unique power of having the family all together.