23 Dec VAYIGASH: TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR CHILDREN WILL YOU KVETCH OR LEAD?

Transformation of
a Brother
Yosef could not
contain his tears,
nor can we, when
we read each year
the story of how
after a feud and separation that endured
for twenty-two years, the Prime Minister
of Egypt, Yosef, reveals his true identity to
his brothers who once attempted to kill
him and sold him into slavery.
No less moving is the speech—nay,
ballad—presented by Yehuda, compelling
Yosef to reveal himself to his brothers.
We are familiar with the story: After
having his silver goblet placed in his
brother Binyamin’s saddlebag, Yosef
accuses him of theft and claims Binyamin
the “thief” as his slave. Yehuda, approaches
the viceroy of Egypt, unknowing that this
was Yosef, and explains to him that there
was no way he could return to his aging
father Yaakov without young Binyamin.
The Torah transcribes Yehuda’s exact
presentation, the longest in all of Bereishit:
“And now if I come to your servant, my
father, and the lad [Binyamin] is not with
us, and his soul is so bound up with his
soul, when he will see that the lad is gone,
he will die. And your servants will have
brought down the hoariness of your
servant our father in sorrow to the grave.
“Because your servant [Yehuda] took
responsibility for the lad [Binyamin] from
my father, saying, ‘If I do not bring him to
you, then I will have sinned to my father,
for all time.’
“Now, please let your servant [Yehuda]
remain in the place of the lad as a servant
to my lord, and let the lad go up with his
brothers…”
Twenty-two years earlier, the same Yehuda
said to his brothers, “What will we gain if
we kill our brother [Yosef] and cover his
blood? Let’s sell him to the Arabs and not
harm him with our own hands.” The
brothers consented. Yosef was sold and
brought to Egypt as a slave, where, years
later, he rose to become the viceroy of the
country. Now, when Yosef ‘s younger
brother Binyamin is about to be taken as a
slave, Yehuda offers himself instead.
A metamorphosis has occurred. The time
is fertile for reconciliation and renewal.
Yosef can reunite with his family.
But there is more.
The Gift of Royalty

Tradition has it that royalty in the Jewish
nation belongs primarily to the descendants
of Yehuda. Of course, there were many
Monarchs who descended from other
tribes of Israel, like King Shaul from the
tribe of Binyamin, or Yeravaam from the
tribe of Yosef. The Hasmonean dynasty,
responsible for the Chanukah festival, was
from the Leviim. Yet, as Yaakov tells his
son Yehuda on his deathbed, the gift of
royalty was specifically conferred upon
him and his descendants; the quality of
leadership was imbued in the DNA of
Yehuda’s descendants, producing over the
generations numerous leaders and kings,
from Dovid Hamelech to Moshiach who
will also be a descendant of Dovid, the
great-great-grandchild of Yehuda.
Why? What did Yehuda do to deserve
this? Was it because he was the one who
ultimately saved Yosef from dying in a pit
by selling him as a slave? Was it because
of his courage to confess publicly that he
was the person who cohabited and
impregnated Tamar?
Certainly, but perhaps there was something
else. It was Yehuda’s declaration in this
week’s parsha, Vayigash, “Because your
servant took responsibility for the lad,”
that more than all demonstrated that the
gift of leadership belonged to this man’s
soul.
You see, notwithstanding his unwavering
promise to his father to bring back
Binyamin, Yehuda could have returned
without the lad with a book filled with
great excuses. “There was no way we
could have fought the viceroy of Egypt,
the superpower of the world;” “I know I
promised to bring him back, but our
brother decided to steal the silver majestic
goblet from the second to the most
powerful person in the world, so what
exactly was I supposed to do?” Or, “G-d
apparently wanted Binyamin to remain
there; after all the viceroy’s goblet did
‘miraculously’ end up in Binyamin’s bag;”
“being a slave by Egypt’s viceroy—our
brother Shimon can report to us—is not
that bad, he treats his workers with
dignity.” “Yes it’s terrible, but what should
I have done? Self-sacrifice can help you
jump from the roof to the ground, not to
jump from the ground to the roof!”
These are part of the excuses Yehuda
could have given, and he would have been
(at least partially) correct. There is little
one can do to battle reality. They did find
the goblet of the Prime Minister in
Binyamin’s bag and Yehuda was not the
culprit.

But Yehuda was a leader. He had it in his
bones to take absolute responsibility for a
situation and never pass the buck to others,
not even to what can be perceived as
“reality.” As a genuine leader, Yehuda
stood up and proclaimed: “Because your
servant took responsibility for the lad!”
Yes, I can find many ways to vindicate
myself, but the job will not get done. This
is not about me—my innocence or guilt,
my merit or fault; it is accomplishing the
mission: Binyamin must return to his
father.
And that is what makes a leader.
Excuses vs. Action
Today, too, we desperately need the
leadership that will not only search for
causes but will implement solutions to
ensure the safety of our loved ones and
our people.
The most important solution might be a
paradigm shift in our mindsets, habits, and
lifestyles.
From anti-Semitism to mass assimilation,
we face many challenges. We live in a
generation when many good excuses have
been given for our bleak demographics
and for Jewish continuity becoming an
endangered species. Many a sociologist

has, over the course of the past half-
century, explained some of the causes for

mass assimilation, intermarriage,
ignorance, abuse, dysfunction, apathy, and
strife within families or communities. The
Holocaust, secularism, modernity, failure

of institutionalized religion, anti-
Semitism, the hypocrisy of religious

leaders, the monotony of ritual, trauma of
all sorts, and the extraordinarily successful
integration of Jews into the mainstream of
American life. The walls of the ghetto,
physical and conceptual, have at last
crumbled.
As a frequent traveler to Jewish
conventions and retreats around the globe,
I am privy to hearing lectures and
workshops analyzing the unique
challenges of our times and the various
crises that threaten our future. They all
make good and sound points.
Yet I also had the privilege of seeing a
“Yehuda,” who a number of years after the
incomprehensible destruction of
Auschwitz and Treblinka, rose and
declared: “Your servant took responsibility
for the lad.” I, your servant, have taken
personal responsibility for the collective
Jewish community and for every
individual Jewish lad.

For the following four decades this man, a
biological scion of Yehuda, would not
sleep nor allow anyone else to sleep.
Single-handedly he empowered thousands
upon thousands to stop passing the buck
or relieve their conscience by merely
making a contribution to a noble cause.
He inspired them to take personal
responsibility for the welfare, continuity,
and eternity of the Jewish people. Do not
allow “reality,” he always taught, to decide
the future of the Jewish people. Take
responsibility for the lad! Do not rest until
every Jewish child the world over is given
the opportunity to be liberated from
spiritual slavery, from his (or her)
subjugation to forces alien to his essence,
and, just like Binyamin, to be able to
return to his father in heaven.
Each year on this Shabbos when I hear the
words “Your servant took responsibility
for the lad” read aloud from the Torah, my
eyes swell up in tears. In my imagination I
still see my Rebbe, his face aglow,
teaching for hours, but always culminating
with this resounding message:
“You and I must take responsibility for the
lad!” Do not lament, kvetch, sigh and
write a check. Do not organize conferences
to analyze all of the problems. Instead, go
out of your comfort zone and touch the
heart of another person. Build
communities, schools, shuls, and yeshivas.
Get involved and make a difference in
people’s lives. Give every Jewish child the
gift of a Torah education. Help people get
in touch with their Jewish souls and
spiritual inheritance. Most of all, care
about the other as though he or she was
your own brother.
“You may have good excuses for your
inaction,” he would always say, and
nobody will blame you.” But the bottom
line is that after all of your rationalization,
the child, Binyamin, will remain enslaved
to Egypt and its culture.
In our times, often leaderless and aimless,
we must make Yehuda’s call our own.
“Your servant took responsibility for the
lad.” So shall we.