21 Jul VE’ETCHANAN- APPRECIATING OUR COMMUNITY

Some –
body once
showed me
the “Ask
the Rabbi”
c o l u m n
that was
printed in a certain magazine
(that is not connected to our
community). The question was
posed by a man who had decided sometime earlier to move to
a different synagogue, and was
now having second thoughts.
For years, the man and his family
belonged to a wonderfully warm,
friendly, inviting synagogue that
had an outstanding Rabbi who
was both an impressive talmid hacham and an exceptionally warm
and caring person. However, although the synagogue was warm
and friendly, the father was disturbed by the talking during the
prayer service. He felt that this set
a very negative example for his
children, and so they moved to a
different synagogue, where there
is greater decorum and respect
during the prayers. The problem
was that the people in this synagogue were not as friendly. The
family never really felt connected
to the congregation, and so before long, the wife and daughters
stopped going to prayers altogether, and the son started going to the
first synagogue.
One Shabbat
morning, the
man overslept
and could not
go to the second
synagogue. He
told his family
he would be going that morning
to their original
synagogue, and
they all excitedly
decided to join
him. At the synagogue, they were
all received very warmly by the
members who were overjoyed that
they returned. This got the man to
start thinking if perhaps he should
again regularly attend the first
synagogue. His question was:
should he attend a warm, friendly
synagogue where there is talking
during the service, or a synagogue
which is less friendly, where his
family did not feel they belonged,
but where the service was conducted with the appropriate level
of decorum?
The Rabbi did not give a clearcut answer to this question. But
in my humble opinion, there is
no question whatsoever. In my
mind, it is clear beyond a shadow
of doubt, without any hesitation
whatsoever, that the family should
attend the first synagogue, the
congregation which offers them
a sense of belonging and a sense
of community. As serious a prohibition as it is to speak during the
prayer services, and while this is,
without question, a problem that
must not be ignored, we need to
place ourselves in a community,
somewhere where we feel a sense
of belonging and connectedness,
because only in such a setting are
we able to grow and reach our full
potential.