05 May WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME

One of the special features
of the wonderful upcoming
Yom Tov of Shavuos is the
reading of Megilas Rus.
While it is a fascinating
and delightful story, its
linkage to the celebration
of Matan Torah, the giving
of the Torah, is not at all obvious. Why
we read Megilas Esther on Purim is a slam
dunk for it’s the very story of Purim. So
too, Eicha, Lamentations, on Tisha b’Av, for
it is the mournful dirge of the destruction
of Yerushalayim and the Temple. But the
Megila of Rus doesn’t mention the Torah at
all, and it seems to be disconnected from the
Shavuos spirit.
One school of thought is that Shavuos is the
yahrzeit of Dovid HaMelech. Therefore,
we lein Megilas Rus which reveals to us the
wonderful beginnings of Dovid HaMelech.
But there is another reason given which is
more central to the very essence of Shavuos.
In Rus Rabbah, the question is asked,
“HaMegilah hazeh ein bo lo issur v’heter,
v’lo tumah v’taharah. Umipnei mah bah?
L’lamedcha schar gadol shel gomlei chasodim
– This Megilah does not contain information
about that which is prohibited or permitted,
that which is ritually contaminated or pure.
If so, why is it taught to us? To teach us

the great reward for acts of kindness.” The
Megilah is replete with heroic kindness.
The dedication of Rus and Orpah to their
mother in-law Naomi after the death of their
husbands, Machlon and Chilyon, the kindness
of Boaz to the Moabite convert Rus; these are
hallmarks of Megilas Rus.
This is the reason why we read Rus on
Shavuos; to accentuate one of the core
essences of the Torah HaKedosha which
is chesed. Indeed, the Medrash at the very
beginning of the Torah says that the Torah
opens with an act of kindness and closes
with an act of kindness. Namely, Torah starts
with Hashem clothing Adam and Chava
when they were naked (Not to mention the
creation of the entire world which is the
most monumental act of kindness. As it says,
“Olam chesed yiboneh.”), and it finishes with
an act of kindness when Hashem Himself
buries Moshe Rabbeinu, to teach us that the
entire Torah is full of chesed. This is why we
say the phrase Toras chesed in Eishes Chayil
for the Torah is a compendium of kindness.
Thus, one of the great lessons of Shavuos is
for us to reaffirm our commitment to being
a kind, loving people. Indeed, it is one of
the three national traits that mark a person
as a Torah Jew: rachmonim, baishonim,
v’gomlei chasodim, we are a people who are
compassionate, we have a sense of shame,

and we do acts of kindness. Indeed, the word
gever, which is the Hebrew word for a man
and means strength, is also an acronym of
rachmonim, baishonim, gomlei chasodim!
There is a scary thought shared in the Sefer
Chemdas Eliyahu. He cites the Gemara
which asks a historical question. The First
Temple was destroyed because we were guilty
of three cardinal sins, idolatry, immortally,
and bloodshed. However, during the time of
the Second Temple, we had Torah, mitzvos,
and kindness. So therefore, why was the
Second Temple destroyed? The Gemara
gives the grim answer: we were awash in the
sin of sinas chinam, senseless hatred for each
other. The Chemdas Eliyahu comments about
the phenomenon that it is possible for us to be
saturated with kindness and at the same time
to be guilty of sinas chinam. This points to a
sobering reality. We are ready to do plenty of
kindnesses on our own terms.
Still, it isn’t necessarily so, that loving
kindness permeates our very beings. For, if
that were true, it would be virtually impossible
for us at the same time to be guilty of sinas
chinam. This is a tough question which we
need to confront about ourselves. Is much of
the kindness that we do truly for others or is it
more about feeling good about ourselves or for
our own aggrandizement? When Rabbi Akvia
said, “V’ahavta l’rei’acha k’mocha; Zeh klal
gadol baTorah – Love your fellow man as
you love yourself. This is a great principle
of the Torah,” he was emphasizing this
battle against being self-centered.
Let me share with you an important
observation. There is a troubling anomaly
in human behavior. Some spouses never
compliment their mate in private but in
public they sing the praises of their partner
to others. In a similar vein, children who
care for an older parent might never hear
thanks from their father or mother but are
amazed and troubled when they hear this
same parent sing the praises of how their
children take care of them when speaking
with their own friends.
Why do so many people behave in such a
paradoxical way? The answer is simple.
When a spouse or a parent compliments
their mate or their child, the act is about the

other person. This is something that self-
centered people have a hard time doing.

When it comes to telling others about the
goodness of a spouse or the wonderful
behavior of their children, then it’s really
about the person himself: What a great
spouse they have, or what great children
they raised. They have no problem
applauding themselves publically to others.
The husband has no problem boasting to
the public what a great wife he has because
that’s all about himself. To compliment his
wife in private would be about her. That’s
something he has not yet mastered.
In a similar vein, Shlomo HaMelech, in

describing the Eishes Chayil, the Woman of
Valor, explains, “Kamu banehah vayashruhah,
baalah vayehal’lah – Her children get up and
applaud her, her husband gets up and sings
about her.” The obvious question is: Of
course they praise her, it’s his wife and it’s
their mother. Wouldn’t it be more telling to
know what others say about her? The answer
is a resounding, NO! How she behaves with
other people is because she is constantly
calculating quid pro quo. If she’s not nice,
she won’t get a raise; if she’s not friendly,
people won’t call her anymore. But how she
behaves at home where they are stuck with
her is all about whether she is moved to do for
others, and is not simply centered on herself.
This is why, to build a successful Klal Yisroel,
Eliezer looked for just one thing in a wife for
Yitzchak, and that was a passion for chesed, a
love to do for others, for that is the very life
blood of the Torah and a Torah Jew.
So, this Shavuos, as we enjoy the blintzes and
the flowers, as we stay up all night reaffirming
our dedication to Torah study, let’s also
reevaluate how much we do for others without
thinking, “What’s in it for me?” because that
is the true meaning of being a baal chesed.
In the merit of working on cultivating true
kindness, first and foremost in our homes
and then all around us, may Hashem bless us
with long life, good health, happiness, and
everything wonderful.