29 Sep YOM KIPPUR: STARTING WITH MIDOT

The Rambam (Rabbi

Moshe Maimonides,

1135-1204), in Hilchot

Teshuba (7:3), alerts us to

the fact that repentance is

required not only for specific sins that we

commit, but also for our negative character

traits. He lists traits such as anger, jealousy,

gluttony, greed and the pursuit of honor.

Unfortunately, when we think of Teshuba,

we think only of ritualistic matters such as

Shabbat, Kashrut, prayer and the like, all of

which are undoubtedly important and

integral to Torah life. But we forget

something far more basic and elementary –

our Middot, our characters. Teshuba is, first

and foremost, about character refinement.

This point was developed by the great

Kabbalist Rav Haim Vital (1542-1620), in

Sha’ar Kedusha. He writes that the

“fundamental principle of Judaism” is that

we must exercise greater care with regard to

our Middot than to observance of the

Torah’s commands. Needless to say, this

does not mean, G-d forbid, that we may

neglect the Torah’s commands. Rather, it

means that we must focus more on

improving our character traits than on the

other areas of Torah observance. The

reason, Rav Haim Vital explains, is that

once we have refined our characters, Misva

observance will naturally follow. If a person

has bad Middot, Rav Haim writes, he cannot

be a religious Jew. In truth, this point was

made already by Hazal, in the Gemara. The

Gemara teaches that expressing anger is

akin to idolatry, and arrogance is akin to

heresy. If a person does not have proper

character traits, he cannot be considered

religious. In other words, a person can come

to pray in the synagogue three times a day,

wear several pairs of Tefillin to satisfy every

opinion, sway back and forth with his eyes

closed throughout a 20-minute Amida,

adhere to the strictest standards of Kashrut

and spend hours a day learning – but still not

be religious. If he does not speak kindly and

patiently to his wife, children and

employees, he is not religious. As shocking

as it sounds, this was said by Rav Haim

Vital, the foremost disciple of the Arizal and

one of the greatest Kabbalists of all time. It is

truly a shame that we find this shocking.

Today, our minds have been programmed to

associate the word “religious” with study

and ritual, not with refined character. And so

we have Jews who are “religious” but are

dishonest in their financial dealings. And we

have Jewish drivers with Kippot honking,

shouting and cursing at other motorists. We

have lost our bearings, as well as our

understanding of what it means to be

“religious.” To a large extent, this is a

function of the society in which we live. In

contemporary American society, people are

evaluated based on meaningless, superficial

criteria such as their net worth, fame, the

type of clothing they wear, and the kind of

house they own. They are not evaluated

based on their nobility of character. This

superficial value system has been carried

over to the Jewish community. We, too,

evaluate people – including ourselves –

based on superficial criteria such as

appearance and which Kashrut agencies we

trust or don’t trust. We have forgotten that

the most important criterion is our Middot,

whether we act with dignity, integrity and

consideration. I recall once at a wedding

seeing a “religious” fellow push his way

through the crowd at the dessert buffet and

fill his plate with a huge piece of cake and

then adding cookies to cover the empty

space that remained, stacking them in a large

tower. He then came over to me and asked if

I knew whether the dessert was made with

“Yashan” flour. This is a perfect example of

how our priorities have become skewed.

He’s concerned about “Yashan,” but not

about pushing past people or about eating

without restraint. Of course there’s nothing

wrong with enjoying a tasty dessert. But

indulgence in physical gratification – even if

the food is strictly kosher – is directly at

odds with the spirit of Torah life. Rav Haim

Palachi (Turkey, 1788-1869) writes that

refining one’s character is the “cure all”

remedy for all spiritual ills, and is “a

priceless pearl.” There are many areas in

which we should endeavor to improve on

Yom Kippur, but before anything else, we

must focus on our Middot. This is the first

and most crucial step that we need to take in

an effort to draw closer to Hashem and

resemble the Heavenly angels, inching our

way ever closer to spiritual perfection.