24 Mar YOUR 15-STEP PROGRAM TOWARD INNER LIBERATION THIS YEAR, LET YOUR SEDER YEAR BE TRANSFORMATIVE

The Jewish father
calls his son a
couple of days
before Passover
and says, “David, I
hate to ruin your
day, but I must tell
you that your mother and I are divorcing –
forty-five years of misery is enough.”
“What are you talking about?” David screams.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other any
longer. We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick
of talking about this, so you call your sister
Shirley and let her know.”
Frantic, the son calls Shirley, who explodes on
the phone. “No way are my loving parents
getting divorced!” she shouts.
She calls Dad immediately and screams – –
“Dad, you are not getting divorced! Don’t do
anything until we get there. I’m calling David
back and we’ll be there tomorrow. Do you
hear me?” and she hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to
his wife. “Great,” he says, “they’re coming
home for Passover and paying their own
way.”
An Opportunity
The Passover Seder is an opportunity that
provides us with the energy to access freedom

in our personal and collective lives. It consists
of an intense fifteen-step program, a blueprint
toward psychological, emotional, and spiritual
liberation. Below is a brief description of the
meditation, consciousness, and inner work
reflected during each of the fifteen steps.
Kadesh — reciting Kiddush, designating the
time as sacred:
Designate a space in your psyche that is
sacred, pure, innocent, curious, and child-like.
Without this step, there is too much static in
your life to allow for real listening,
introspection, and growth.
Urchatz — washing the hands:
Remove your hands from any involvement in
impurity. Cleanse your life of active lying,
cheating, betraying, immoral relationships,
destructive addictions, etc. No liberation is
possible without this step.
Karpas — eating a vegetable dipped in
saltwater:
The vegetable growing low from the ground,
on which we make the blessing, “He created
fruit from the ground,” symbolizes the body,
created from earth (Adamah). The prerequisite
for spiritual liberation is recognizing that your
body and all its dispositions are a means to an
end; they must be submerged in the waters of
inspiration and Torah. Do not allow your

cravings and appetites to define you; you
must define them. Do not allow them to
take you hostage, but see them as a
means for your journey. They are here to
be defined and explained by you.
Yachatz — breaking the middle
matzah:
Humility and vulnerability are the
messages of this fourth step. You must
have people in your life with whom you
are completely open, honest and
vulnerable. The false sense of “I am
whole,” is the greatest obstacle to
genuine liberation.
Magid — reciting the Haggadah:
Tell the story; teach the story. Study, learn,
and learn some more. It expands your
horizons, challenges your ego, and brings you
to a deeper place inside of yourself. Do not let
a day pass without some serious learning
time.
Rochtzah — washing the hands:
Wash your hands again. The arrogance that
may arise after study is very dangerous. This
is the “religious” and “scholarly” pompousness
of “I know it all,” and I am “holier than thou.”
Remain humble, real, and authentic.
Motzei — reciting the blessing HaMotzi,
“He extracted bread from the earth”:
Extract. Now you are in the position of
extracting the opportunities, the “sparks,”
in everything you have or come in contact
with. Judaism does not promote withdrawal
from the world or asceticism; rather, it calls
on us to use our gifts fully and draw out the
meaningful, constructive potential within
them.
Matzah — reciting the blessing on the
matzah and eating it:
The Talmud describes Matzah as “bread of
poverty.” Extract the possibilities in your
life, but maintain perspective and balance.
Do not live as a self-indulgent person who
believes they must maintain a life of
constant luxury. Even if you were blessed
with wealth, cherish simplicity, refinement,
and modesty. If you are not wealthy, do not
feel pressured to mimic your neighbors or
friends. Do things according to your
capacity. Let your dignity shine from
within. Don’t try to impress; be comfortable
with yourself internally, and people will
love you much more this way.
Maror — eating the bitter herbs:
Empathy. Now you can begin to discover
the greatest gift of life: To truly be present
for another person—to look them in the
eyes and say, “I am here for you,” and
genuinely mean it and live by it.
Korach — eating a sandwich of matzah
and maror (in ancient times, together
with the Passover lamb):
Life is a roller coaster. Pesach teaches us
through the matzah and maror and bitter

herbs —moments that are rich, flat, and bitter.
True liberation comes when we learn to weave
all these experiences into a single, unified
mosaic. Life is one journey that holds every
dimension within it. Like a skilled surfer, we
must learn to ride its waves.
Shulchan Orach – setting the table, eating
the festive meal:
Cultivate a genuine love for welcoming guests
and helping others. When they leave, don’t
scrutinize or judge them. Remember: your
children will not grow to host others if they
sense how much you truly resent having
guests.
Tzafun — eating the hidden afikoman:
At this stage of the Seder, we partake of the
hidden Afikoman. So too in life: there are
hidden layers within us that may still emerge.
Like an onion, as one layer is peeled away,
another is revealed. Do not be afraid or
discouraged. On the contrary, the very fact
that these deeper elements surface now means
you have grown enough to face them. Embrace
the challenge. This, too, is a reminder of our
need for G-d.
Beirach — reciting grace:
Now you can begin to bless G-d for every
moment, encounter and experience in your
life.
Hallel — reciting psalms of praise:
Now, you begin to express praise for every
moment. Nothing is taken for granted. Every
breath you take and every move you make is
an opportunity for praise and thanksgiving.
Nitrtzah – Our service is pleasing to G-d:
But really, does anybody care? In the big
picture, are we not smaller than specks of
dust? Why the bother?
The answer: Nirtzah. G-d’s desire in creating
the world is that we cultivate a personal,
intimate relationship with Him, transforming
ourselves and our surroundings into a dwelling
place for the Divine. We may have many
questions, but ultimately, this is our purpose.
Nirtzah!—embrace it, and learn to love it.
Next Year in Jerusalem!
* This article is based on the Hagadah of the
Chida and on various writings of Mussar and
Chasidism. My thanks to my brother Rabbi
Simon Jacobson for his “15 steps.”