05 Sep SPEAK YOUR VUES

SPEAK YOUR VUES WITH THE VUES MASTER

Please note that the author of Speak Your Vues is in no way affiliated with the publisher of this paper. The author of this column is an independent third party contributor. The views and opinions expressed by this author may not reflect the views and opinions of the publishers. If one has any issues with any of the views, please write a letter to the Vues Master.

 

GOOD RIDDANCE

Dear Vues Master:

Upon the death of a Jew by the name

of שמחה†, who had been a כופר†and a

מוסר†, the חסידים†in the town cited and

remarked “ ”.שמחה†לארצך†–†ששון†לעירך

Vues Master’s Note: Did they make a

simcha out of it? I hope they had a good

Kiddush!

BE AND SEE HUMBLENESS

Dear Vues Master:

In (Sukkah 45b) mentions the deeds

of Yosam the son of Uziyahu, king of

Judea that we can take a lesson from

before the Day of Judgement: Yosam

was a righteous man, whose humility

exceeded that of all other Israelite

kings. Yosam’s great merit derived

from the extraordinary self-sacrifice he

displayed in honoring his father, Uziyahu.

Uziyahu was a metzora and he

was accordingly banished from Jerusalem,

and could not fulfill his duties as

king. During the years of his father’s

affliction, Yoseam ruled in his stead

but to preserve his fathers honor, did

not take the title of king, and issued all

his decrees in Uziyahu’s name. Yosem

is thus the exemplar of the sentiment

expressed in the verse (Malachi 1:6) A

son honors his father. – ArtScroll The

following could conceivably be added

to Yoma 35b: And if an estranged son

comes before the heavenly court, the

members of the court say to him: Why

did you not honor your father? If he

says: He didn’t listen to the rabbis and

he did his own thing, they say to him:

King Uziyahu didn’t listen to the Kohen

Gadol and eighty priests; he was

arrogant, corrupt, trespassed against

God and was a metzora until his death

and nevertheless Yosam honored him?

I’m sure Yosam’s success was helped

by having a humble wife and mother

who didn’t go the way of Jezebel and

Athaliah. Besides all this, fathers are

devalued so this is the time to buy low.

D G

Vues Master’s Note: Wow! My kids

don’t devalue me. Yes I am a father.

None of my kids Roshei Yeshiva have

told them to devalue me. Is there something

missing here? Do we not have the

full picture?

FREEDOM

Dear Vues Master:

Being forced to wear a mask isn’t losing

your freedom, it’s running into

a situation where one of the many

things y0u are forced to do or forbidden

from doing does not align

with your wishes. The US has been a

nanny state for a hundred years, since

the start of Prohibition. You can’t

even make your own hand sanitizer.

You can’t run a lemonade stand without

a business license, a food service

license and a whole bunch of other

nonsense. You had no freedom. You

had a fortunate coincidence in which

the things you wanted to do were the

same as the things you were allowed

to do, and now you lost that. Join the

club.

NF

Vues Master’s Note: You are defining

Socialism and Communism which is

where this Country is headed to. As a

matter of fact 

LEG UP

Dear Vues Master:

The יבר†ראמטאס†suffered from pain in his legs. His doctors told him not to dance on

תרצע†ינימש†and הרות†תחמש. But he did not listen to them. Citing

ומצע†ינפב†לגר†ינימש.

MK

Master’s Note: I hope he did not defeat the purpose of not having use of his feet. Since that was no easy feat.

BIDEN

Dear Vues Master:

As we all know, this week marks the tail end of our twenty year conflict in Afghanistan. When Bush II first proposed invading in 2001, those who were opposed in Congress were almost non existent (there was only one solitary NO vote between both houses). At the time, the main objective was the destruction of Al Qaeda and the capture of Osama Bin Laden. With the Taliban providing refuge to our enemy #1, the objective also included the removal of the Taliban from power in Afghanistan, and punishing them for harboring the terrorist organization. The Authorization for Use of Military Force (AUMF) that was approved by Congress, gave Bush II the power to proceed at will in Afghanistan (It subsequently also allowed him, and Presidents following him, to deploy our military in other regions and countries all over the world in unrelated military operations). We walked into this conflict the same way the US had entered regrettable military conflicts in the past, without a clear exit strategy, an understandable oversight given the high emotional state of the post 9/11 US. This was one of the main criticisms of the AUMF by Barbara Lee, the lone member of Congress to vote against it. Ten years after our entrance in Afghanistan our main objectives were achieved, Bin Laden was dead, Al Qaedia was decimated, and the Taliban was no longer in power. At that point the justification for our continuance in the conflict was arguable at best. Our exit was long overdue, and after spending over a decade training Afghan’s to fend for themselves, providing billions of dollars in military equipment, and paying their salaries, it’s incredibly counterproductive to keep them on training wheels. When all is said and done the most deserving of blame for this messy exit in Afghanistan are the Afghans! Biden was 100% right in his speech a few weeks ago, ‘if they’re not willing to fight to preserve their government why should we?’ To all those reading this who chant ‘America First’, exiting out of a long overdue conflict costing taxpayers trillions of dollars and American lives is putting America first, to those that chant ‘Make America Great Again’. an America at peace, something that hasn’t happened in twenty years is what making America great again looks like, to those that claim that they stand by our veterans and military service members, there’s no better way of supporting them then to get them out of harm’s way. There will always be those that hate Biden and Democrats, at times without reasonable justification, as is vice versa, but if you find fault in Biden’s withdrawal you also need to find equal fault with Trump who negotiated the peace deal with the Taliban that led to this withdrawal. Historical perspective is also important here, when we exited Vietnam we had to fend ourselves from enemy fire, and we were only able to evacuate a fraction of people compared to the evacuation effort in Afghanistan so far. There was never going to be a perfect exit, just like there will never be a perfect war. Now is the time to take solace in the fact that we’re finally at peace and can refocus on America instead of foreign wars. To the veterans out there who served in Afghanistan, this was not a war that was fought in vain. As a combat veteran said in a recent televised interview – ‘we successfully gave a generation of girls the opportunity to go to school and get an education, now contributing to the world in ways that wasn’t possible before, we decimated Al Qaeda, and we captured Bin Laden. This was not regrettable’ may God bless all those who served!

Sincerely,

A Voice of Reason

Vues Master’s Note: Wait, I think Biden fell asleep in the middle of reading your letter. My Pillow guy must have given him some really

good pillows.

WORST

Dear Vues Master:

(תוחילס®†םע†לכמ†ונמשא

We are the guiltiest of all nations. Are we ו”ח†worse than the Nazis, Palestinian terrorist ש”מי, etc.?

1)םע†לכמ†ונמשא†– is not part of the יודיו†it is pleading with Hashem that we are being punished as if we were Ch”v the worst nation. (R. Zalman Sorotzkin zt”l)

2) ונמשא†– our sins, םע†לכמ– is the fault of all the nations. They are the cause of our sins. (R LY. Barditchever zt”l)

3) םע†לכמ†ונמשא†– We are the guiltiest of all nations doesn’t mean we are Ch”v the evilest of all nations. We have תווצמ†ג”ירת†and they have only seven. We are guilty for more תוריבע†in numbers than all the nations. However, their תוריבע†& crimes are millionfold worse than ours

MF

Vues Master’s Note: Thanks for sharing. It really gives us a

different perspective on that part of davening. Sometimes these parts of Tefillah seem to bring out the worst in us so it is nice to see a light in the darkness.

NEXT

Dear Vues Master:

When Joey went to family weddings, his uncles and aunts would tease him and say “You’re next, Joey.” They stopped doing it when he began doing the same thing to them at funerals.

JL

Vues Master’s Note:That is funny. What did they do during a Bris?

HAIR

Dear Vues Master:

To Jews who hate their curly hair: curls are beautiful. I know many people with curls who are under the impression that curls are not manageable, but they actually are just not aware of how to care for them properly. First of all, avoid all shampoos with sulfates. Even people with straight hair should avoid sulfates (which I personally believe are placed in shampoos to dry people’s hair so they use more conditioner), but they are devastating to curls. Second of all, you do not need to shampoo your hair daily. Once a week is plenty. You can even shampoo less frequently and do more co-washing (using a conditioner to wash). A third tip: use products geared toward African-Americans. Many of those products are just good products for any curly or textured hair. If you subject your hair to a constant barrage of sulfates, you will end up with frizz. The shampoo companies are as bad as Big Pharma. They just want to ruin your hair health so they can sell you more hair products.

NJ

Vues Master’s Note: I say about hair that is here today and gone tomorrow. I never have a bad hair day. I do get into hairy situations. I usually escape like a hare.

COLOR

Dear Vues Master:

Robins’ eggs are blue because of the pigment biliverdin. This is the same pigment that creates the blue green color in bruises. That means that the same thing is responsible for the beauty of new life and the ugliness of injury. Take this as a lesson: the good and the bad may very well be the same thing on a deeper level, a chemical level. Good night, birds of Boston. Good morning, humans of New York.

SF

Vues Master’s Note: I am color blind! I can’t relate. This letter sounds like it was written by a colorful person. Be careful you paint a good word picture!

KOSHER PHONES

Dear Vues Master:

It is a travesty that there are no longer slide-touch feature phones being manufactured. That is the best design for a kosher phone. It allows for easy texting and personal note writing without taking up screen space. The old phones run on the 3g network and service is being discontinued. Good night, sweet LG Rumor Touch. (If you have any connections in the industry, PLEASE GO BACK TO MANUFACTURING SLIDE-TOUCH PHONES! I scream because I care.)

CM

Vues Master’s Note: I feel you. It seems like our society keeps on sliding when it comes to Social Media!

GRAMMAR

Dear Vues Master:

Though I do not consider myself a grammar snob, I do have one pet peeve. It seems particularly common in the frum community for writers to place a comma between the subject and the predicate. The reason this should be classified as a grammatical error and not a benign dialectal variation is the fact that this comma is never represented by a pause in speech.

GF

Vues Master’s Note: I am speechless. I don’t have the correct grammar or correct verbiage to respond to your letter!

ALARM

Dear Vues Master:

I do not mean to sound like an alarmist or a conspiracy theorist, but if indeed the vaccines are not effective against COVID-19, we must assume that is by design. They are not actually COVID-19 vaccines. They are vaccines against the next pandemic, the deadlier one being brewed in a lab. And do you think they want to kill off the compliant people? No. They want to kill off the people who resist, the ones who protest, the ones who question. To the “sheeple,” they give the vaccine that will save their lives. They will live and provide the ruling system with surrogate wombs to bear their children. They will toil so the powers that be can go on living in splendor. But why would those in power want to spare the lives of those who don’t cooperate?

CF

Vues Master’s Note:What is the difference between a conspiracy theorist and a Conservative truth? Just a few months!

LIES

Dear Vues Master:

I heard a group of people asking whether feminism improved women’s lives or damaged them. I pointed out that feminism is the reason it is now illegal for men to beat their wives. They said they didn’t mean that kind of feminism, they meant the Marxist kind. If that was the case, they should have said what they meant to begin with. Otherwise, what they are saying is just sheker.

FC

Vues Master’s Note: This letter perplexes me! What is Marxist feminism?

VIDEO

Dear Vues Master:

I know it’s been a year or three, but I just watched Mach a Bracha! music video for the first time. And yikes. I was pretty shocked to see frum boys and men wearing angel costumes with birdlike wings, which I believe come from Xtian depictions. Also, who eats both oatmeal and cold cereal?

Vues Master’s Note: Is it a music video? Sounds like music to my ears!

BAN

Dear Vues Master:

If indeed all bans just make people want to do the thing more, why ban theft?

JM

Vues Master’s Note: I would ban this letter!

RENTAL ASSISTANCE

Dear Vues Master:

Last week, State Senator Simcha Felder attended a Senate Hearing examining the rollout of the COVID-19 Emergency Rental Assistance Program. Established as part of the State Budget, the Emergency Rental Assistance Program is tasked with distributing $2.7 billion in rent relief for struggling tenants and landlords in New York State. Over 160,000 New Yorkers applied since applications opened on June 1st, but only $156 million has been handed out to just 12,000 applicants. “The snail pace with which the State is getting this rent relief to New Yorkers is simply unacceptable,” said Senator Felder. “The continued rent moratorium, but lack of rental assistance, means that tenants are getting help at the expense of struggling small property owners who were hung out to dry – and they’ve suffered enough!” said Felder. The Emergency Rental Assistance Program payments are made directly to the landlord/property owner to cover a tenant’s rental arrears. Small property owners in particular have been hard hit throughout the pandemic. State and Federal rent moratoriums mean that some tenants have not paid rents since March of 2020, while landlords are still paying taxes, utilities, and mortgages. Many small property owners need to borrow money to pay their bills and others are being forced into foreclosure. “No other industry has been treated as unfairly during the pandemic. Not only are many property owners forced to provide free housing to renters, they are still required to pay property taxes, mortgages and utilities or face foreclosure. It’s real “chutzpa!” The rental assistance money is secured and available. It’s desperately needed now!” concluded Senator Felder.

ST

Vues Master’s Note: Wait and see we are becoming Socialist.