14 Sep Speak Your Vues

SPEAK YOUR VUES WITH THE VUES MASTER

Please note that the author of Speak Your Vues is in no way affiliated with the publisher of this paper. The author of this column is an independent third party contributor. The views and opinions expressed by this author may not reflect the views and opinions of the publishers. If one has any issues with any of the views, please write a letter to the Vues Master.

 

BLUE LAWS

Dear Vues Master:

Though blue laws (laws forbidding stores

from being open on Sunday) have been

ruled constitutionally allowed by the biased

Supreme Court, they are a blatant attempt

to keep Jews and other non-Christians

out of town. Therefore, we should

either lobby for a federal law banning

them, or as Jews, boycott New Jersey’s

Bergen County (especially Paramus) and

other places that forbid doing business on

Sunday.

KY

Vues Master’s Note: I am not sure why

having both Sunday and Shabbos off is a

problem?

UNIFORM

Dear Vues Master:

I am very confused. As a young girl, I

went to a school that did not have a uniform

but did enforce basic tznius rules.

One of those rules was a ban on wearing

shirts or sweaters with words printed on

them. Now my daughter attends a school

with a uniform, but part of the uniform is

a sweater with the name of the school on

it. Plain sweaters are not allowed. How

is this supposed to make sense?

CF

Vues Master’s Note: If it is a Uniform and

it is part of conforming to the school rules

then it is good. I don’t think having the

name of your school on your sweater is a

tzniyus issue? In Shulchan Aruch there is

no halacha that a woman should not wear

a sweater with words on it. You may not

feel comfortable with it but I don’t think

it is fair to call it a tzniyus issue. Sounds

like Chava telling the angel we are not allowed

to touch the tree when all that was

forbidden ways to eat from the tree.

WATERED DOWN

Dear Vues Master:

The חסידים†of an אדמור†who was planning

his son’s wedding were told by

his שמש†that anyone who wanted to attend

the wedding had to bring a bottle

of wine and pour it into a cistern that

had been prepared especially for that

purpose. One of the חסידים†thought to

himself,

הרי†התורה†חסה†על†ממונם†של†ישראל†and

since thousands of חסידים†will be coming

to the wedding and will be bringing

thousands of bottles of wine, if I bring

a bottle of water it will be מבטל†in all

that wine and no one will taste the difference.

Unfortunately, the other חסידים

had the same מחשבה†and as the wedding

day approached, the cistern was full of

water. When the אדמור†became aware of

what occurred, he had the waiters fill all

the guests’ cups with the water from the

cistern and said:

אשרינו†שנתקיים†בנו†ושאבתם†מים“

”.בששון†ממעיני†הישועה

MB

Vues Master’s Note: I would have done

the exact same thing.

WOMAN GOVERNOR

Dear Vues Master:

The fact that Kathy Hochul will be the

first female governor of NY is shocking.

Maybe one day she’ll also be the first

woman elected to the position. But why

has no woman ever been elected?

Master’s Note: Maybe because we had

flops with Hillary running for office!

FLU

Dear Vues Master:

With flu season approaching, we should

all start putting on masks again to stop

the spread of the flu. Flu kills an average

of over fourteen frum Jews a year, not to

mention countless others.

LL

Vues Master’s Note: Also stop getting into

cars. Do not fly on an airplane and only

eat carrots!

MINHAGIM OF TOCHACHA

Dear Vues Master:

There is a Minhag*, not to face the האירק†לעב†(standing in front of the המיב) when he Leins (reads) the החכות. *Another Minhag is that the הלוע†before the החכות†leaves the המיב†immediately after his Aliya and doesn’t wait for the end of the next Aliya to do so. In some Shuls during the year when the Gabai wants to give an Aliyah to the האירק†לעב†he doesn’t call him up by saying פ”ב†ינולפ†דומעי†since he is already standing there. All he does is point at him to take the next Aliya. Hence this is how the Minhag started for the

האירק†לעב†to get the החכות†since there is no need to call him up. **The original Minhag was to put it in the contract that the שמש†needs to take the Aliya of the החכות. The א”מר†writes to call up

הצריש†ימ†דומעי†(no name) Whoever is willing to take this Aliya. The םייח†רוקמwrites that the הצריש†ימ†is a בויח†to be הלוע†on the first day Rosh Hashana and on the first day Shavuos. ie: The הצריש†ימ†is being compensated by getting an Aliya on the first Yom Tov after the החכות

MF

Vues Master’s Note: It is a long time to Parshas Bechukosai I hope I can remember all this!

TROPICAL FOOD

Dear Vues Master:

The Jewish Vues printed a meme showing a lawn chair that fell down, with the caption “I’ll never forget Henri 2021.” I found this insensitive. While Henri was no Sandy, it was still pretty bad. All the tomatoes in my garden split from the heavy rainfall. My basement flooded. UPS delivered a computer I’d ordered in the middle of the storm, and it got water damaged. All those losses are manageable, but others have lost more, totaling about twelve billion.

SF

Vues Master’s Note: Us Jews survive on the fact that we are able to find humor in all situations. I myself had damage but I still found it funny! You gotta find humor in everything!

HOMEWORK

Dear Vues Master:

It’s not fair for students to have homework every day. School time is for school. How would the teachers feel if parents sent students in with dishes to wash or other housework? Keep everything in its designated time.

JW

Vues Master’s Note: I don’t get it it is called “Home work “ therefore must be done at home if the class would be home ec then you can send dishes!

AHAVAS CHINAM

Dear Vues Master:

I read this poem over 25 years ago and it stuck with me until today. I changed some words to make it applicable for today’s time

“A Poignant Poem”

Modified from the Original “Moshiachs hat”

By Anonymous ben Kolonymous

‘Twas the night of the Geulah,

And in every single Shtiebel

Sounds of Torah could be heard

Coming from every kind of Yeedel.

This one in English

Some in Hebrew, some in Yiddish.

Some saying P’shat

And some saying a Chiddish.

And up in the heavens

The Aibishter decreed:

“The time has come,

For My children to be freed.”

“Rouse the Moshiach

From his heavenly berth.

Have him get in his chariot,

And head down to earth.”

So Moshiach got dressed

with a heart full of glee,

Went down to earth and entered

the first Shtiebel he did see.

“I am the Moshiach!

Hashem has heard your plea!

Your Geulah has come!

It’s time to go free!”

They all stopped their learning;

This was quite a surprise.

And they looked at him carefully,

With piercing sharp eyes.

“He’s not the Moshiach!”

Said one with a grin,

“Just look at his face,

We don’t see a mask from his nose to his chin.

“That’s right!” cried another

With a grimace and frown,

“Whoever heard of Moshiach,

Who won’t mask up when people are around”

“Well,” thought Moshiach,

“If this is the rule,

I’ll put on a mask

Before I go to the next shul.”

So he walked right on over

To the next shul in town.

Sure to be accepted,

Since his mask was no longer down

“I’m, the Moshiach!”

He stepped forward and did state

But the yidden stopped him

“Before you come in, did you vaccinate?”

“We need to see your card!”

They cried out in fright.

“You can’t possibly be Moshiach

If the certificate isn’t right”

Wearing his mask and holding his card

Moshiach went out and said:

“No difference to me,

But It shouldn’t be this hard”

So he went to the next shul,

For his mission was clear,

Though he was getting frustrated

With the Yidden down here.

“I’m the Moshiach!” he cried,

And they all stopped to stare,

And a complete eerie stillness

Filled up the air.

“You’re the Moshiach?!

Just imagine that at last!

But Whoever heard of Moshiach

Wearing a mask?”

“Here, I’ll take it right off!”

The Moshiach then said unabashed

So he pulled it right off

And plunked it into the trash.

Yet, the shul started laughing,

As one yid did say

“Where’s your appeal?

You can’t have Moshiach

With a vax, that’s not real”

“If you really are Moshiach

And want to be accepted in this town,

There should be no mask on your face,

And throw that vaccination card down!”

Moshiach turned, walked out, and said:

“I guess my time hasn’t really come.

I think I’ll just return

To where I came from”

So he went to his chariot,

as he began to enter,

All sorts of Jews appeared

From the Left, Right, and Center.

“Please wait – do not leave.

It’s all their fault!” making their case

As they pointed to each other screaming

“There is, there isn’t a pandemic in place.”

Moshiach just looked sad

And said, ” You really don’t understand.”

As he started up his chariot

To get out of this land.

“Yes, it’s very wonderful

That you all learn Torah,

But you seem to have forgotten

A crucial part of our Mesorah.”

“What does he mean?”

“What’s he talking about?”

As we all looked bewildered,

As we all began to shout.

Moshiach looked back and answered,

“The first place to start,

Is to shut up your mouth

And open your heart”

“To each of you,

Another yid Seemed too Frum or too Frei

But all Yidden are beloved

in the Aibishter’s eye.”

And on his way up he shouted:

” If you want me to come,

Try working a little harder

On some Ahavat Chinom!”

MF

Vues Master’s Note: What a great Poem! Do you think Moshiach had Covid?

RENT ASSISTANCE

Dear Vues Master:

Last week, State Senator Simcha Felder attended a Senate Hearing examining the rollout of the COVID-19 Emergency Rental Assistance Program. Established as part of the State Budget, the Emergency Rental Assistance Program is tasked with distributing $2.7 billion in rent relief for struggling tenants and landlords in New York State. Over 160,000 New Yorkers applied since applications opened on June 1st, but only $156 million has been handed out to just 12,000 applicants. “The snail pace with which the State is getting this rent relief to New Yorkers is simply unacceptable,” said Senator Felder. “The continued rent moratorium, but lack of rental assistance, means that tenants are getting help at the expense of struggling small property owners who were hung out to dry – and they’ve suffered enough!” said Felder. The Emergency Rental Assistance Program payments are made directly to the landlord/property owner to cover a tenant’s rental arrears. Small property owners in particular have been hard hit throughout the pandemic. State and Federal rent moratoriums mean that some tenants have not paid rents since March of 2020, while landlords are still paying taxes, utilities, and mortgages. Many small property owners need to borrow money to pay their bills

and others are being forced into foreclosure. “No other industry has been treated as unfairly during the pandemic. Not only are many property owners forced to provide free housing to renters, they are still required to pay property taxes, mortgages and utilities or face foreclosure. It’s real “chutzpa!” The rental assistance money is secured and available. It’s desperately needed now!” concluded Senator Felder.

ST

Vues Master’s Note: When people want to describe something that is fast they say it is like the speed of light. If people want to describe something slow they say it goes like the speed of Government!

SHUL

Dear Vues Master:

An סרוקיפא†was asked why he doesn’t go to Shul even on the םיארונ†םימי. He responded: “I may be an סרוקיפא, but I learned ארמג. The ארמג†says:

והכשמ†הז†לוונמ†ךב†עגפ†םא

שרדמה†תיבל, if the revolting one, namely the evil inclination, entices you, draw him into the שרדמ†תיב. The shuls have many םילווונמ†and I don’t want to have anything to do with them.”

BM

Vues Master’s Note: At least his Shul had one less menuval there!

DOING US A FAVOR

Dear Vues Master:

ןימייקמ†ןירוסיהו†תוללקהו

וינפל†םכתא†ןיביצמו†םכתא

ב”י∫ט”כ†םויה†ה”ד†י”שר

R. Elchonon Wasserman HY”D explains the Rashi, when לארשי†ללכ†are םולשו†סח†in need of punishment then Hashem sends םיפדור†to curse & harass the Yidden. By doing so the Yidden become the ףדרנ†and

ףדרנ†תא†שקבי†םיקולאו†even if the ףדור†is a קידצ†and the ףדרנ†is a עשר. Kal V’Chomer when the ףדור†is the עשר†This spares

לארשי†ללכ†from punishment. When the UN condemns Yidden (Israel ז”עלב) with hundreds of resolutions against us, they are actually doing us a favour, turning us into the ףדרנ†and Hashem protects us.

FM

Vues Master’s Note: You know something I don’t want their favors or their help! I would rather they leave us alone!

STOPPED BY POLICE

Dear Vues Master:

A professional juggler was driving to his next performance when he was stopped by the police. “What are you doing with these matches and lighter fluid in your car,” asked the police officer. “I’m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act,” the driver responded. “Oh, yeah,” said the policeman, “let’s see you do it.” So the juggler got out and started juggling the blazing torches. A couple driving by slowed down to watch. “Wow!” the driver said to his wife. “I’m glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they’re giving now.”

NB

Vues Master’s Note: That Juggler must have been on fire with his act!

THIEF

Dear Vues Master:

When a well known בנג†died, the בר†was pressed into delivering a דפסה. People wondered what חבש†the בר†could say about such a man. The בר†said: “The רטפנ†personified the קוספ†which says

םירעש†חתופ†המכחב†and on every occasion he did םידי†תליטנ.”

BN

Vues Master’s Note: I like this hesped. I might steal it!

TZNIYUS

Dear Vues Master:

Public Service Announcement: Girls under the age of 7 should wear pants or leggings under their skirts. This is because at that age, they still sit like boys. At 7, they are more mature and can remain b’tznius without this precaution.

TR

Vues Master’s Note: Thanks for the advice. I guess this week is the week of tzniyus a lot of letters about it.

GOY

Dear Vues Master:

A bright young boy was asked whether he knows a

הרותה†ןמ†היאר†for the statement ונכשל†יוא†עשרל†יוא. Without hesitating, the boy answered: “Yes. The קוספ†says ≠המירצמ†דריו.”

לודג†≠יוגל†םש†יהיו

NS

Vues Master’s Note: This guy must have mixed up a guy with a goy!

TESHUVA

Dear Vues Master:

The gemora in Rosh Hashanah says that we blow twice before musaf and by musaf to cinfuse the Satan. How, explains the Haflaah that by blowing extra we show our love to Hashem and our teshuva becomes one of ahava, from love which converts our sins to benefits, so the yetzer hara gets cinfused. What should he do? Mention avonos, intentional sins, they will become benefits. Tosfas says that he thinks that the shofar is Meshiach’s shofar, why now? It says הבושת†הלודג

הלואגה†תא†האיבמש, teshuva is great because it brings the redemption and it also says הלודג

הלואגה†תברקמש†הבושת, teshuva is great because it accelerates the redemption. Explains the Ksav Sofer, it says הנשיחא†התעב, in its time it will be accelerated. Why accelerate by its time? There are two times when the redemption can come, in its fixed or in the accelerated time. וניקלא†’הל†תורתסנה†the fixed hidden time, we have no control over it only Hashem but

תושעל†’וכו†ונינבלו†ונל†תולגנה

תאזה†הרותה†ירבד†לכ†תא†but the accelerated time is in our hands by keeping the Torah. Teshuva will be done from fear, forced on us when the fixed time for redemption arrives. However, when we do teshuva from love and follow the Torah, the redemption will come before the fixed time. Maybe, as we said from the Haflaah that blowing extra is considered doing teshuva from love, so the Satan thinks that we are accelerating the coming of the Meshiach and the sound of the shofar is a signal for its coming.

החודש†הבושת†הלודג

הרותבש†השעת†אל†teshuva is great as it overpowers a violation in the Torah. When a woman sways to another man, the first man cannot remarry her but Hashem takes us back even when teshuva is done by fear where asei docha lo sasei only applies when performing the nitzvs from love. See the Ramban in Parashas Yisro. The Klei Yakar explains

ךקלא†’ה†דע†לארשי†הבוש

ךנועב†תלשכ†יכ, you already did teshuva frim fear, turning purposeful violation to unintentional stumblings, now do teshuva from love to get closer to Hashem by turning your sins to benefits and good deeds. The Midrash says ןיקל†ןושארה†םדא†אחכשא†Adam Harishan meets Kayin.

ךנידב†השענ†המ†היל†רמא†Adam Harishan says to Kayin, what happened to your judgement יתרשפתנו†הבושת†יתישע†Kayin answered, I did teshuva and I compromised היל†רמא†so Adam Harishan said to Kayin

הבושת†לש†החוכ†איה†ךכ†is teshuva so great?

רומזמ†רמא†דימ

תבשה†םויל†ריש†so Adam Harishan right away praised shabbos. What is the connection? Adam Harishan was in doubt whether he can keep shabbos as it is sceptor of the King, Hashem which a servant is not privileged to. Teshuva is also a sceptor of the King. When Adam Harishan heard that Kayin’s teshuva was accepted, it proved to him that we are like children to Hashem who can use the sceptor of the father, therefore he can also keep shabbos.

RE

Vues Master’s Note: I hope you all did teshuva and did not blow the opportunity! Yes let us hear the Shofar of Mashiach!

FRAUD

Dear Vues Master:

While I will never understand why people leave their families and Eretz Yisrael to travel to Uman, those I know personally who go and I assume tens of thousands of others are perfectly righteous and more importantly, sincere people. But what kind of a rasha buys a fake COVID negative test, and worse, what kind of person sells them? This type of evil MUST be called out so no one else considers buying these, selling them or creating the next scam that can kill innocent people. Just when you thought people couldn’t stoop lower, someone else comes and shocks you.

RUP

Vues Master’s Note: I wonder if you would have called Jews in Germany who did not wear their yellow star as Reshaim. I am not taking sides on vaccines. But we see the vaccines are not as effective as originally said, and to require people to show proof of vaccination despite the fact they had Covid already with Natural immunity seems to be Government overreach. Let us look for zechuyos not to condemn people. We are all different and need to have a Gut Gebentcht Yohr.