16 Nov SPEAK YOUR VUES
SPEAK YOUR VUES WITH THE VUES MASTER
Please note that the author of Speak Your Vues is in no way affiliated with the publisher of this paper. The author of this column is an independent third party contributor. The views and opinions expressed by this author may not reflect the views and opinions of the publishers. If one has any issues with any of the views, please write a letter to the Vues Master.
NASTY CANDY
Dear Vues Master:
At risk of criticism and judgement, I wanted
to inform our neighborhood that this past
Shabbos was quite traumatic for the Trainer
and Yablok families. Baruch Hashem my
house is very busy on Shabbos and people
come and go. This past Shabbos, edible
candy marijuana some how made it into my
home. The children thought it was candy as
it was unmarked and unidentifiable and ate
it thinking it was part of their Shabbos party.
We are beyond grateful to hkbh that our girls
are home asleep in their beds tonight as last
night it was not clear that would be the case.
The effects were horrific. They ended up in
the emergency room. Some unresponsive for
hours. And even after regaining consciousness
they are not themselves yet. These are
little Children that had 4 times the amount
adults should have. Just because it looks and
tasted like candy. This can happen to anyone.
It is legal and easily accessible now
adays, it is important than if you or anyone
you know possesses it, you carefully mark it
(My husband and myself did not know what
it was) and keep it far away from children.
In addition it is important for everyone to be
aware that this is a problem and to be vigilant
with your children. I hope that this can
save anyone from the heartache we felt and
the repercussions we are dealing with now.
AH
Vues Master’s Note: This is legal? I guess
the liberals don’t care about our children.
What a disgrace!
ZECHUYOS
Dear Vues Master:
The דעת†זקנים†מבעלי†תו”ס†says, the reason
יעקב†feared עשיו†, was because עשיו†had the
זכות†* of living in ארץ†ישראל†. Perhaps, we
in חוץ†לארץ†need to fear the secular Tziyoinim.
They too might have the זכות†of living
in .ארץ†ישראל
MF
Vues Master’s Note: It would be nice if the
Secular Tziyonim would appreciate the land
and not do aveiros in it!
MEDS
Dear Vues Master:
Stimulants such as Adderall can cause symptoms
of depersonalization/derealization in
children. Children have difficulty describing
such symptoms. Basically, it can make your
child’s life a living h*** and you would never
know about it. If your child doesn’t want
to take his medication, there may be a reason
for it.
YYY
Vues Master’s Note: :It’s a good thing I took
my meds today maybe some of my answers
might even be funny.
SENSITIVITY
Dear Vues Master:
I enjoy reading your paper I look forward
to it. I would like to comment on some of the
Vues Masters notes at the end of each letter.
Sometimes they are extremely punny however
not always are they in place.Sometimes there
seems to be a great lack of sensitivity with certain
letters . I’ll give you an example I found
myself very pained by the letter from Miriam
who would like to purchase a grave next to her
parents, yet she cannot because no one could
locate the congregation or the lawyer who took
care of the Congregation Chaim Hagar She
was reaching out asking for help I really felt
her pain. You had a lot of puns in your note
after the letter .It is not always funny to make
cracks and to come up with puns on someone
else’s expense sensitivity gets you much further
I am sure you will be aware of this in the
future. Thank you
Devora Leitner
Vues Master’s Note: :I don’t need my name
in the paper. I am insensitive. I respond in a
way that is to provoke the reader. Obviously
I would not say this with my name signed underneath
it! I don’t need even my initial on
my responses. I say just learn to see the humor
in everything you will live a lot longer
and want to live a lot longer!
WATER
Dear Vues Master:
A tourist rented an apartment in
Israel. When the air conditioner
began leaking water nonstop, he
complained to the landlord:
המשיב†הרוח†מוריד†גשםÆ
MB
Master’s Note: I say it is water
under the bridge, em I mean under
the bed!
RABBI MILLER
Dear Vues Master:
Is it true that Rabbi Avigdor Miller
was a strong proponent of the
practice of writing anonymous
letters?
CMS
Vues Master’s Note:II would
respond to you but only anonymously.
Since we are both not
anonymous I will not tell you
whether Rabbi Miller was an
anonymous letter writer. One
thing is for sure his shiurim and
lectures were not anonymous!
HEALTHCARE
Dear Vues Master:
I’m a Republican, but I want universal
healthcare. Socialist systems
have problems, but what we
have right now is a system that
somehow managed to be capitalist
while also having the problems
that come from a socialist system
without any of the benefits. Once
we’re suffering from socialism
we might as well be able to see
a doctor without paying through
the nose for insurance. Thank
you for coming to my TED talk.
CC
Vues Master’s Note: I am sure
we are going to love it when the
Socialists decide who is worth to
keep alive and who is not. Just
take a look at that girl in Britain
they literally pulled the plug and
killed her.
GREAT STORY
Dear Vues Master:
I got this email I wanted to share
The Short Vort Good Morning!
Today is Thursday the 7th
of Kislev 5782 and November
11th, 2021 Collect Call The
first time I met Tara, she told me
she was engaged to Heath Eliwatt.
I’m pretty confident that this was
the first time I ever met anyone
named Tara. (Although, full disclosure,
the name Tara did elicit
a far-away memory about an old
film. At present, I don’t remember
the name of this film. Whatever
it was, it’s now gone with
the wind.) I asked, “Excuse me,
what is your Chosson’s name?”
Tara said, “Heath, you know, like
the candy bar, the Heath Bar.” I
looked at her with a blank expression.
I wasn’t sure if she was being
serious or not. Finally, she
said, “Forget about the candy bar.
Yes, his name is Heath.” I thought
they were a nice couple. However,
I better learn their names! Soon
Tara and Heath were married
and became part and parcel of
my Shul. Heath became Shmuli,
and soon he was a regular at the
Daf Yomi and a “steady-eddy” at
morning Minyan. As their family
grew, the Eliwatts fulfilled a lifelong
dream and moved to Eretz
Yisroel. Tara became Miriam,
and Shmuel grew spiritually and
is a well-respected member of the
Ramat Beit Shemesh community.
Shmueli is the person who seeks
out the special Chessed that others
may be hesitant to do. Every
Erev Yom Kippur Shemuli wakes
up before sunrise and makes the
rounds at all of the neighborhood
Shuls appealing for funds for
Lema’an Achai. The organization
is the bedrock Chessed Mossad
in RBS, assisting hundreds if
not thousands of people. This
past Erev Yom Kippur, Shemuli
donned his mask, grabbed his
credit card machine, and headed
out to collect. He planned to begin
at the Vasikin minyan and attempt
to visit as many shuls as possible.
One of his first stops was by the
famed Daf Yomi Maggid Shiur
Rav Eli Stefansky. Shemuli is a
regular at Rav Stefansky’s Shiur,
with dozens who learn in person
and hundreds who tune in through
Zoom. My 12-year-old grandson
Yoel Moshe Eisenman is a regular
at the Shiur. After Shemuli made
his pitch for Lema’an Achai, he
began to leave. Rav Stefansky
stopped and asked, “Where are
you going?” Shemuli answered,
“I’m sorry Rebbe, however, I’ll
have to make up the Daf. Today
is the day I collect for Lema’an
Achai.” Rabbi Stefansky is not
a person easily dissuaded. “Shmuel!”
Rav Stefansky roared, “Sit
down, now it’s time for the Daf.
Open your Gemara, and let’s learn.
Don’t worry about collecting.
Hashem will take care of that as
well.” Shemuli had no choice and
had to heed his Rebbe’s words;
he opened the Gemara and soon
was involved in the sweet sounds
Abaye and Rava. After the Shiur
finished, Shemuli got up and gathered
his envelopes and credit card
reader and was off raising muchneeded
funds for Lema’an Achai.
Yet, as he got into his car, he felt
guilty. After all, the organization
counted on him to raise a large
amount of money on Erev Yom
Kippur. Perhaps, he did the wrong
thing by taking an hour away from
collecting to learn? Shmueli decided
to call Rav Avrohom Leventhal
the executive director, to
inform him of the missed hour of
collecting. As soon as Rav Leventhal
answered the call before
Shemuli could say anything, Rav
Leventhal screamed, “Shemuli,
how did you do that? I can’t believe
you did that!” Shemuli realized
that he had made the wrong
decision. Obviously, he should not
have taken time off from collecting
to attend the shiur. Shemuli
stammered, “I’m, I’m…” before
Shemuli could utter another word,
Rabbi Leventhal said, “I can’t believe
it. During the last hour, we
received the largest pledge of the
campaign from someone in Lakewood.
He witnessed the entire exchange
between Rav Eli Stefansky
and Shemuli while watching on
Zoom. He wrote that the pledge is
in honor of Shmuel Eliwatt, who
listened to his Rebbe and sat down
to learn the Daf.” I can’t believe
it! Do you know Shumuli what
he is referring to?” Shemuli said,
“Well, you see….” However, Rav
Leventhal had many matters to
take care of before Yom Kippur
and said, “Shemuli, I don’t need
to know how you brought in a donor
from Lakewood; I just have to
tell you to please keep it up.” Shemuli
thought about Rav Stefansky’s
words, “Don’t worry about
collecting. Hashem will take care
of that as well.” Indeed, as He
always does, He did take care of
everything. “If Not Now Then
When?” Hillel Ron Yitzchok
Eisenman Congregation Ahavas
Israel Passaic, NJ
BS
Vues Master’s Note:As we used
to say in camp, time for learning
never ends…
AUTHOR
Dear Vues Master:
A writer of כתבי†קודש†, by the
name of יהודה†לייב†בן≠זאב†was
walking late at night when, seeing
a חסיד†with whom he was
friendly, exchanged greetings
and asked: “Have you said
קריאת†שמע†yet?” Surprised at
the question, the חסיד†said: “Its
midnight! Who says קריאת†שמע
at midnight?” בן≠זאב†answered:
“It’s a גמרא†מפורשת†. It says:
קורין†קריאת†שמע†של†שחרית
”.משיכיר†בין†זאב†לכלב†?אימתי
BM
Vues Master’s Note: I am in the
dark! Why is the chassid walking
around in middle of the night?
DREAMS
Dear Vues Master:
He dreamt and behold In the
40’s while the Nazis were murdering
Yidden in Europe, Rav.
Y.I.Herzog zt”l was in Bnei Brak
and met with the Ponovezher
Rov zt”l. The Ponovezher Rov
showed Rav Herzog a large hill
and told him he plans to build
a Yeshiva for a few hundred
בחורים†on top of that hill. Rav
Herzog responded with just one
word “ חלומות†” (dreams). The
Ponovezher Rov answered back
מען†מעג†חלומען
אבער†שלאפן†טאר†מען†ניט†“
“You are allowed to dream but
sleep, you may not .”
————————————
The ( ספר†חסידים†©תמ”ז†writes,
“if one dreamt a good dream
בשורה†טובה) ) not to tell it to his
wife. She might tell others and
then the dream won’t come true”.
FG
Vues Master’s Note: All you need
is a dollar and a … As long as it
is not a nightmare.
EX-WIFE
Dear Vues Master:
Yaakov drew close to Yitzchak
his father, who felt him and
said, “The voice is Yaaov’s
voice, but the hands are Eisav’s
hands” Genesis 27:22 Rashi
comments on the above verse,
“The voice is Yaakov’s, who
speaks gently: ‘Please, rise
up.’ But Eisav speaks with arrogance:
‘Get up, father!” Rav
Henach Leibowitz asks: How
can it be that Eisav spoke harshly
and disrespectfully to his father?
The Midrash says that Eisav
gave his father more than a
hundred-fold the honor that the
Talmudic sage, Rabban Shimon
ben Gamliel, gave to his father.
When attending his father, Eisav
wore his finest clothing out
of respect for his father. How
is it, then, that he spoke disrespectfully
to him? Rav Leibowitz’s
answer is something
that we should all take to heart.
If a person becomes accustomed
to coarse language, it may become
so much a part of him that
he cannot speak politely even if
he tries. Eisav could change his
clothes, out of respect for his
father, but having picked up the
coarse language of his peers he
was unable to control the way
he talked. – ArtScroll. Peers
may affect how you speak but
superiors can also affect who
you can speak to. A red flag
for the latter is when a superior
tells you not to speak to your
parents. Here’s what the my
son’s RY wrote me and told my
son, We feel that this need is so
paramount for his proper development
that it pushes aside the
obligation to honor his father.
We encourage him to resist you
and stand up for himself. Your
father has very poor judgement.
Your father is heavy-handed
And he said all this without
meeting me. My ex-wife pays
tuition to a school that indoctrinates
my son to turn against me;
however, her husband defends
himself by saying, “I don’t pay
tuition, I give a donation.”
DG
Vues Master’s Note: There is always
three sides to every divorce
the husband side the wife’s side
and the truth!
VORT
Dear Vues Master:
WHO WAS KREINDEL STEIN HARDT?
Kreindel was the sister
of *R. Shaya Pik Berlin and
the wife of **R Yosef Steinhardt
(1720–1776) She was a מלומדת
and מחדש†חידושים† . She was
highly educated in תורה† . Both,
her brother & her husband quote
some of her חידושים† in their
ספרים† . RYPB quotes a Vort from
his sister Kreindel on this week’s
Parsha in his הפלאה†שבערכין
ספר† . The גמרא† says most women
are into witchcraft.
רוב†נשים†מצויות†בכשפים ) ) so
when Rochel told her father לי
כי†דרך†נשים† she was actually telling
him the תרפים† (the (דרך†נשים
are לי† are with me. * He completed
the מסורת†הש”ס† and was
considered the greatest בקי† of his
time. ** מחבר†ספר†זכרון†יוסף† He
was the רבי† of two famous
& תלמידים†הרב†מרדכי†בנעט
החכם†וולף†היידנהיים
NJ
Vues Master’s Note:Thanks for
sharing.
COMMON CORE
Dear Vues Master:
With all due respect, it is naïve
of the Vues Master to think that
a mother nowadays can do her
child’s homework. The Common
Core curriculum has made
the material very confusing for
Gen X and Millenials. Parents
are stuck. There are literally engineers
who can’t do Common
Core math.
RF
Vues Master’s Note: Ha! You
can’t get an answer wrong in
common core so long as you explain
your reasoning you are OK.
GREETING
Dear Vues Master:
Before he began writing his
books, שלום†עליכם† was a successful
businessman. Ultimately,
his business failed and he turned
to writing, at times struggling
to make ends meet and relying
on גמילת†חסדים†. Once, when a
friend asked how he was doing,
שלום†עליכם† replied:.
אני†יושב†על†התורה†ועל†העבודה†ועל
גמילת†חסדים
SA
Vues Master’s Note: All I can
think of saying is Aleichem Sholom.
BURIAL PLOT
Dear Vues Master:
The פסיקתא†זוטרתא† gives another
reason the מקום†קבורה
of משה† was unknown, to prevent
the Yidden from building
a בית†המקדש† at his grave. The
חזקוני† gives the reason so the
דורשי†מתים†won’t all flock to
the קבר† of משה†רבינו† I was just
wondering if
רשב”י¨†ר’†נחמן†מברסלב¨
ר’†ישעי†קרסטירר†זצ”ל†ועוד
would have preferred for the
same reasons that their קבורה
מקום† would also have been
לא†ידע†איש†את†קבורתם† and not to
have grave festivals and strange
עבודות† being practiced there.
KF
Vues Master’s Note: I feel that my
burial plot should come with Wifi
so my children will come visit.
BIDEN
Dear Vues Master:
THANKS BIDEN!
GDP growth at record 5.7%.
Stockmarket at all-time highs.
Real estate values at all-time
highs. Average earning us 4.9%.
6 million new jobs created. Unemployment
rate at 4.6% Trump
never came close to these numbers.
Biden’s infrastructure plan
passed with bipartisan support
and hailed by Mitch McConnel
will invest in ports and roads so
that Americans don’t have supply
chain shortage filed inflation
that is due to the inability of current
infrastructure to handle the
demand. If only Trump and Republicans
had invested in infrastructure
while in power perhaps
our ports wouldn’t be backlogged
and unable to unload goods purchased
by Americans in our
booming economy.
CK
Vues Master’s Note: Feel good he
gave you stimulus for your kids.
Despite the fact that this money
is worth much less and has much
less of a buying power!
Dear Vues Master:
Chizkuni, Genesis 22:19:1
וישב†אברהם†אל†נעריו† , “Avraham
returned to his lads;”
where did Yitzchok go? According
to Midrash hagadol,
quoted in Torah shleymah item
204 on our verse, he proceeded
to study Torah during those
three years in the academy of
Ever. (B’reshit Rabbah 56,11)
Learn from here that Avraham,
the father, had determined that
Yitzchok successfully graduated
from his homeschooling
and chose which yeshiva to go
to. It is inconceivable that
Yitzchok told his father, “Okay
dad, it’s time for me to move
on and to go to this yeshiva.”
See from here how important
the relationship is between father
and son. Anyone who puts
a wedge between them is going
against the Torah. ***** The
Gemara (Rosh Hashanah 17a)
asks: The rebellious Jews who
have sinned with their bodies,
who are they? Rav said: …
and those who cast their fear
over the land of the living,
who are they? Rav Ḥisda said:
This is referring to a communal
leader who casts excessive fear
on the community not for the
sake of Heaven. Rav Yehuda
said that Rav said: Any community
leader who casts excessive
fear on the community not
for the sake of Heaven will be
punished and not see any Torah
scholar among his sons, as
it is stated: “Men do therefore
fear him; he sees not any who
are wise of heart” (Job 37:24).
One who brings others to fear
him will not merit having wisehearted
people in his family. –
Sefaria Commentary: Even
if he does not thereby cause
them to sin, but, to the contrary,
guides them along the proper
path, for the people’s intentions
is to serve him rather than G-d
(Shaar HaGemul p. 266). See
Shaarei Teshuvah 3:162-67 for
additional reasons for the severity
of this sin. – ArtScroll
DG
Vues Master’s Note: Seems like
your letters all have the same flavor.
Your child can make his decision
as to which Yeshiva he wants
To go to!