10 Sep SPEAK YOUR VUES WITH THE VUES MASTER
TRAFFIC
Dear Vues Master:
The traffic is back!! The entire summer I was in
Brooklyn & it was so easy to find a spot in Boro Park.
This past weekend, it took me a half hour to find a spot
on 13th avenue. I guess everyone is back!
KL
Vues Master’s Note: I guess now you will appreciate
next summer that much more!
HOMEWORK
Dear Vues Master:
Homework is like global warming. Many “experts”
are afraid to come out against it, lest they be banished
by the establishment. I believe that homework can
be unhealthy and sometimes traumatic. And the real
question is, where is the data? There have been tons
of studies, and the results are inconclusive. Even the
people who believe in homework admit that below 8th
grade, the benefits are minimal. So why are we making
kids (and parentes and even teachers) suffer, when we
don’t even know there is any benefit? (To be clear, I
am not criticizing hardworking Rebbeim, Morahs,
and Menahelim. I have immense respect for their hard
work and devotion to our children, and the sacrifices
they make. I believe they are following a system, for
the most part a great system. I am questioning one
small yet highly stressful aspect of that system, not
the people who execute it.) The clinical data is mostly
analyzing whether kids bene – fit ACADEMICALLY.
But what about emotional health? Is there a study
that examines whether homework causes stress and
anxiety? (Do we even need a study for this?) Kids
come home exhausted, and then need to do even more
work, rather than relaxing and enjoying life. Bottom
line, we know homework creates stress for families.
Even if there are benefits, is it worth it?
– A parent who questions the conventional wisdom
Vues Master’s Note: It is interesting no one questions
your parental conventional wisdom. Let the schools
and mechanchim decide what is good, not parents who
are only seeing it from the prism of their child!
APPRECIATION
Dear Vues Master: I read the letters each week and
enjoy your responses. While I have never yet written
to you, I felt I must respond to your response in last
week’s paper regarding tips for counselors. Hakoras
Hatov is important no doubt. Tipping is a wonderful
way to show your Hakoras Hatov. However, to say that
the counselor works very hard, does not get paid and
relies on tips is exactly what the problem is and it must
be changed. There is simply no real legitimate reason
that counselors in our camps get paid less then 10%
of minimum wage. There is no job in the USA in any
industry that is allowed to get away with demeaning
their staff with such disgraceful pay then our Frum
camps. They do it because they get away with it. It is
simply despicable. Camps charge a boat load of money
and they are all (perhaps even extremely) profitable.
It is just terrible that our wonderful and talented and
dedicated teenagers who choose to be role models for
our children by being counselors are treated the way
they are. Overnight camps and day camps are all guilty
of this atrocity. Counselors should not be relying on the
mitzvah of Hakoras Hatov. The tip should be extra. An
incentive. A Bonus. Certainly not in lieu of payment.
As well, children should not be involved with tipping.
It is not proper Derech Eretz. Parents should tip the
counselors, not the kids. When you go to a restaurant
do you pay the bill and then have your children give
the waiter the tip? There are many great opportunities
to teach children about Hakoras Hatov and how to do it
properly. Tipping camp staff is not one of those ways.
SDH
Vues Master’s Note: Well you may be right that the
camp is mistreating their staff. As the situation is now,
if parents don’t tip counselors get nothing. This is the
same as a waiter or waitress in a restaurant who works
on tips only. Your issue is a letter to camp directors
who are greedy and look to eke out every last penny.
That does not change the fact that the counselors work
very hard and must be shown appreciation!
HACHNOSAS SEFER TORAH
Dear Vues Master:
There were so many Hachnosas Sefer
Torahs this week in Brooklyn b”h. It’s so
beautiful to 3 in one day especially when
you have 3 shuls within 1 block! We should
continue to have much more.
HT
Vues Master’s Note: It is never enough!
CHESED
Dear Vues Master:
Baruch Hashem, we have many wonderful
chesed organizations always ready to
help Klal Yisrael with all different kinds
of things. Obviously, much precaution
has to be taken to make sure that these
organizations run properly. That being
said, there is Baruch Hashem no shortage
of people who want to join and we can
always use more volunteers. The only thing
is that we want to make sure that the person
is capable of doing his job. Unfortunately,
sometimes we have to reject people. The
problem is that instead of those people
realizing that there is a reason they were
rejected, they go and start their own similar
organization. That defeats the whole
purpose of what these organizations stand
for. Instead of this being about chesed,
you went and turned it into revenge and
competition. Even worse is that people fall
for them. You gotta be stupid to fall for
them. Don’t you realize there is a reason
these people are doing their own thing?
What is wrong with the original? There
is nothing wrong, it’s great! This is not a
business where you can have competition.
It’s about Chesed, and if you’re gonna go
for someone who is running a “Chesed”
organization for competition, then you
got a problem. A big one. Sadly, we’ve
seen that these organizations have gotten
themselves into BIG trouble. These people
were never fit in the first place and were
rejected from the real thing for a reason.
Those people are a lost case, but to those
who still fall for them: Wake up, stop being
stupid, and realize what’s going on before
it’s too late. Once we’re on this topic we
can also mention that when it comes to
Pikuach Nefesh, it is NOT the time to start
being frum. Not all types of people are fit
for all types of work, and it is an issur of
“Venishmartem Me’od L’nafshoseichem”,
to go that route. There is a lot more to the
problem which i’m not gonna get into. I
purposely did not mention the names of
these organizations, but I think I made
it very clear what I’m talking about. It
is serious stuff we’re dealing with, and
if people dont wake up now, who knows
what more can happen.
CF
Vues Master’s Note: Competition makes
everything better!
SHALOM BAYIS
Dear Vues Master:
A man and woman had been married for
more than 60 years. They had shared
everything. They had talked about
everything. They had kept no secrets
from each other except that the little old
woman had a shoe box in the top of her
closet that she had cautioned her husband
never to open or ask her about. For all of
these years, he had never thought about the
box, but one day the little old woman got
very sick and the doctor said she would not
recover. In trying to sort out their affairs,
the little old man took down the shoe
box and took it to his wife’s bedside. She
agreed that it was time that he should know
what was in the box. When he opened it,
he found two crocheted dolls and a stack
of money totalling $95,000. He asked her
about the contents. ‘When we were to be
married,’ she said, ‘ my grandmother told
me the secret of a happy marriage was to
never argue. She told me that if I ever got
angry with you, I should just keep quiet
and crochet a doll.’ The little old man was
so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only
two Precious dolls were in the box. She
had only been angry with him two times
in all those years. He almost burst with
happiness. ‘Honey,’ he said, ‘that explains
the doll, but what about all of this money?
Where did it come from?’ ‘Oh,’ she said,
‘that’s the money I made from selling the
dolls.’
HS
Vues Master’s Note: I tried that and lost all
my money!
SHIDDUCHIM
Dear Vues Master:
Over the last month I have found that
three of my friends’ kids and two relatives
got engaged after going out with the first
person they ever went out with. Not only
that, it was the first time the other side
went out with someone else as well. Is that
a little crazy? I know that people do a lot
of research these days before going out on
shidduchim, but don’t you think people
should go out with a few people before
making a commitment like marriage?
GH
Vues Master’s Note: Look, whatever
works. Sometimes it is good that they get
engaged when they are young and ignorant
and grow together. Obviously it is all from
Hashem!
MORE LAWS
Dear Vues Master:
This past Shabbos one of my son’s friends
came over to the house for a play date and
he told us that his Yeshiva does not allow
him to wear clips in his yarmulka because
it’s begged esha. I never heard of this
before and think it’s crazy. What do you
think?
A Flatbush mother
Vues Master’s Note: Every yeshiva has
its own set of rules and families should
choose a yeshiva that reflects their values.
LANGUAGE
Dear Vues Master:
Why do all signs in Israel have Hebrew,
English and Arabic? Why even
accommodate the Arab population? If
they are Israeli they should learn Hebrew
and for tourists the English translation is
enough. Why the Arabic? Even America
doesn’t have Spanish on signage and there
is a huge Latino population.
RW
Vues Master’s Note: Don’t you know?
Israel tries to please the world but pleases
nobody!
BUILT
Dear Vues Master:
The Imrei Emes admired Rav Kook, whom
he described as Ish Ha-Eshkolot, “A man
who contained everything.” On one of his
five interwar visits to the Land of Israel, he
raised his concern over the behavior of the
irreligious chalutzim. Rav Kook answered
him: “The Holy of Holies was very sacred.
Only the Kohen Gadol was permitted to
enter it once a year, and this annual visit
was preceded by special preparations. But
when the Holy of Holies was being built,
all kinds of workmen went casually in and
out. Similarly, at this stage, the Land of
Israel is being rebuilt and we should not
worry about the practices of those who are
engaged in the rebuilding.”
DS
Vues Master’s Note: May we see it soon in
our time!
HELP
Dear Vues Master:
As a proud member of American
Communities Helping Israel, (ACHI), a
non-profit advocacy organization founded
by five former schoolmates at Yeshiva
University High School, now all in their
70s, I am continually amazed at how
much this sisterhood accomplishes. What
began as a group of grandmothers banding
together in 2004 to help bolster the Israeli
economy has blossomed into an innovative
advocacy organization that keeps adapting
to Israel’s needs. For example, shortly after
the Oct. 7 Hamas terrorist attack in Israel,
ACHI modified its mission of encouraging
Jews to buy Israeli products to focus on
raising money for the immediate benefit of
those impacted by the war in Gaza. So far
this year, we have sent more than $50,000
to Israel. As the war drones on with no end
in sight, Israel needs our help more than
ever. Attacks from all sides, mounting
casualties and international condemnation
are taking a huge toll on the Israeli
psyche, and the number of those in need
of financial and material support is rising.
Please join ACHI’s latest efforts to help
and stop feeling helpless! You can feed
an Israeli family in need by purchasing a
set of “Shabbat Shalom/Chag Sameach/
All Occasion” cards featuring beautiful
designs and photographs by Israeli artists.
Created and sold by ACHI, these cards
may be used as hostess gifts, to mark an
occasion or as artwork to hang on the wall.
Most importantly, each card funds the
cost of a Shabbat/holiday meal donated to
those impacted by the Gaza war. ACHI has
partnered with Lema’an Achai, an Israeli
nonprofit, to use all proceeds from its card
sales for providing Shabbat/holiday meals
to families of soldiers and evacuees, and
to bereaved family members of soldiers
and others who lost their lives on Oct. 7.
So far this year, ACHI has provided more
than 1,200 meals to needy Israelis. Our
latest endeavor, also in partnership with
Lema’an Achai, is to help cater barbecues
for Israeli soldiers. You can sponsor a
BBQ for as few as ten and as many as
100 soldiers. This makes a great tzedakah
project for a group of friends, classmates
or b’nai mitzvah students. To buy cards or
sponsor a BBQ, go to https://achi613.org/
shop. ACHI also maintains The Market,
an online marketplace of more than 300
Israeli vendors. ACHI makes no money
from marketplace transactions; its website
is merely a conduit to the websites of its
merchants, reflecting ACHI’s original
mission of “Support Israel — Buy Israeli.”
A different vendor is featured monthly
on ACHI’s home page, achi613.org.