21 Jun SPEAK YOUR VUES WITH THE VUES MASTER

Please note that the author of Speak Your Vues is in no way affiliated with the publisher of

this paper. The author of this column is an independent third party contributor. The views and

opinions expressed by this author may not reflect the views and opinions of the publishers. If

one has any issues with any of the views, please write a letter to the Vues Master.

 

COUNTRY

Dear Vues Master:

I am so excited. This is my big week. I’m going

back upstate this week. My family has been going

to the Catskills for over twenty five years. I look

forward to this all year round. I go to sleepaway

camp next week but this week I get to hang out in

my parents bungalow colony. I hang out with the

same chevra that I’ve had since I was a little boy.

I’ve been looking forward to being outdoors surrounded

by trees and hanging out with my friends.

Ma Rabu Masecha!!!!

YS

Vues Master’s Note: Nice….

COMPLAINERS

Dear Vues Master:

Every year when we start reading these parshas I

get depressed. Bnei Yisrael are always complaining.

Throughout our history, until this very day we

are never satisfied. We must have Hakaras Hatov

to Hakadosh Baruch Hu for what we have & stop

complaining. There are so many things that are

great in this world & people always like to stress

the negativity.

GH

Vues Master’s Note: Sounds like you are complaining!

VOTING

Dear Vues Master:

You can’t make this stuff up! Israel appears set to

head back to the polls after a “change coalition”

has failed to hold its razor-thin majority, barely

a year after its formation. Elections are likely to

be held on Oct. 25, just after the conclusion of the

Yomim Tovim.The elections would be the fifth in

just three-and-a-half years. Meanwhile, according

to the coalition’s complicated rotation agreement,

Alternate Prime Minister Yair Lapid will tentatively

become a caretaker “transitional” prime minister

with limited powers until a new government

can be formed after elections. In this role, Lapid

would meet with U.S. President Joe Biden should

he visit the region as scheduled in July. We are living

in crazy times!!!

JF

Vues Master’s Note: Israel loves going to the polls!

HIGH

Dear Vues Master:

When the Rebbe entered the bathhouse, he asked

the attendant to place his gold watch in a high spot

where the “Tzadikkim” wouldn’t be able to reach it.

After a few moments, he returned to the attendant

and said he was still concerned about his watch and

it would be best if he could place it higher, where

even Baalei Teshuva couldn’t reach it.

KL

Vues Master’s Note: I guess he did not like living

on borrowed time!

SODOM

Dear Vues Master:

Last week, the New York County Supreme Court

ruled that Yeshiva University must recognize a

campus alternative groups pride group. Judge Lynn

Kotler directed the Modern Orthodox university to

provide the YU Pride Alliance “full equal accommodations,

advantages, facilities, and privileges

afforded to all other student groups at Yeshiva University.”

This is a sign of the times. What is this

world coming to? Alternative lifestyles are clearly

against the Torah. I really do not know what Yeshiva

University can do except go out on its own &

not take the federal money that they get. This is a

Yeshiva NOT a public school!!!

RS

Vues Master’s Note: It all starts when we start

asking the government how to run our education!

Money is not everything! Time to stop taking money

from the government!

 

LANGUAGES

Dear Vues Master:

Chaim Weitzman remarked: Ivrit is Lashon Hakodesh and Yiddish is the lashon of the Kedoshim!

MB

Vues Master’s Note: English is the Lashon of Artscroll!

KORBANOS

Dear Vues Master:

In parshas Naso, the Chofetz Chaim explains why the Torah lists each individual Nasi’s Karbon (gift) instead of summarizing them. He quotes a midrash that says the shevatim (communicated and) agreed to bring identical karbonos to avoid any possibility of jealousy and envy. However, others say they are listed individually because even though they brought the same sacrifices they all had different intentions for bringing them. The two reasons are not mutually exclusive and actually go hand in hand. Since each tribe agreed to make a “shalom bayit kugel” (i.e., adding gifts for the sake of others) they were able to offer their own gifts and fulfill their intentions. Before seeing this midrash I thought each shevit, on their own initiative, overcame not outdoing each other. However, having such a hava mina (base thought) would diminish their greatness. Therefore, I suggest that even without this midrash they would have still ended up bringing the same gifts; however, it would be at the expense of not offering what they wanted. Let’s take a look into the thoughts of the second shevet, “Yes, I want to bring my own personal gifts; however, this will be an affront to Yehuda and make a chillul Hashem; therefore, what choice do I have?” As a result of bringing the same gifts as Yehuda and everyone falling in line they will be jealous and envious of Yehuda for appropriating the karbons. The novelty is that Yehuda understood this could happen and he humbled himself to accommodate those in his charge. As a result, G-d so to speak, humbled himself and instead of being succinct about the gifts was effusive with His words. The true test of a leader is one who foresees the ramification of his actions and is ready to bend down to listen to others.

DG

Vues Master’s Note:Interesting!

SCHOOL

Dear Vues Master:

I got a chance to talk to one of my son’s rabbis and asked him, “If it’s okay for a father to have a different opinion than his son?” He said, “The question is whether he can have a different opinion than his father.” I disagree but I was happy he had something good to say about fathers. However, my optimism was short lived as he didn’t look interested in having a conversation with me. Still I persisted and asked him about my son, which he denied being in touch with. However, he retracted and admitted he hosts him twice a year. I thought, “That is 200 times more than me.” I told him my son is on his third year strike of not visiting with me; instead of trying to help me, he accuses me of being too controlling. I was thinking about how he has three fingers pointing back at himself. The conversation naturally ended when he couldn’t support this accusation and couldn’t defend his three year strike. Now I know why the DOE doesn’t listen to the rabbi.

DG

Vues Master’s Note: It is because of self hating Jews like you trying to reinvent the wheel we have the DOE busy trying to implement toevah in our Yeshiva system.

DELAY

Dear Vues Master:

I just came back from a trip to Israel. When I landed in Israel, I had a 3 hour wait to check in at Ben Gurion airport because there was no staff working. 3 hour delay to scrounge up some staff to load luggage on our plane at Heathrow. Major shortage of flight attendants on all flights. Hours waiting to fill out paperwork (one guy at the desk) for aforementioned luggage that didn’t arrive anyway for dozens of passengers. There is a huge shortage of airport workers worldwide. What is going on??

TC

Vues Master’s Note:Biden just wants to ride a bike and fall from it!

BRACHA

Dear Vues Master:

Last week’s Rabbi Berach Steinfeld article on the bracha on Maan was great. My entire family discussed it at the Shabbos table. We love the Jewish Vues. Keep up the good work!!

KP

Vues Master’s Note:Nu! So what bracha did you make on the Manna?

YENTA

Dear Vues Master:

My entire family is going upstate this summer & we are looking forward to the Country Vues. Our favorite edition is the first edition, The Yenta edition. We always like to see what’s going on upstate & that edition really has everything. Have a great summer!!!

CS

Vues Master’s Note: I am curious what part of the paper people like! Please send in your responses!

TORAH

Dear Vues Master:

We are living in a time where expertise is questioned, and ignorance is taken seriously. Over the past few years events, phenomena and standards we took for granted have been opened to questioning. Medical diagnosis, election results and economic truths that have been proven correct for years are now being called into question by people with little to no expertise. Unlike many other religions, Torah Judaism doesn’t reserve Torah study and thought for a specific caste or group of people. One doesn’t need Rabbinic ordination to study Torah, and the Torah demands people without ordination to study Torah. It is the Torah’s aim to engage the Jewish people in its study. Engagement requires critical thinking and part of Torah study is thinking critically and offering novel ideas. The Torah was given at Mount Sinai to all of the Jewish people, not just a select group. In our Post-Sanhedrin period, Torah ideas and study isn’t entrusted to an official institution to determine what are proper and improper conclusions. Debate about Torah is encouraged and differing opinions are seen as positive. There are “70 faces to the Torah,” meaning there are multiple perspectives on the Torah, and although they differ, they’re all equally valid. Yet, while Torah was given to all of the Jewish people, it was entrusted to scholars to teach to the next generations. It is the scholars that are considered the experts on Judaism and Torah. Judaism isn’t a “feel-good” religion, where the metric of valid Jewish practice and ritual is whatever makes you comfortable and feel connected to God. Judaism has objective standards; it considers certain actions, thoughts and positions permitted and forbidden, advisable and discouraged. These standards aren’t open to change. It’s a serious error to think humans can change divine commands based on their changing morals. While wider engagement in Torah study is encouraged, there are three areas the not-yet-scholar must be wary of tackling without sufficient expertise and scholarship. Controlling one’s self in this area requires great humility. (1) Halachik decisions. A non-expert/scholar should never decide halachik practice. Without sufficient expertise they’re likely to make errors without realizing it. (2) Critiquing the Torah as a whole. Drawing disparaging conclusions about the Torah as a whole without understanding the context of the Torah is foolish. (3) Critiquing individuals in the Torah, previous scholars or specific halachot as lacking, immoral or illogical without understanding the context of the people or the background to each halacha within the larger framework of halacha is also intellectually dishonest and arrogant. Torah engagement and study requires a balance that is ensured with proper humility. Taking snapshots of Torah and drawing conclusions about the Torah as a whole demonstrates arrogance more than understanding.

RUP

Vues Master’s Note: Sounds like a whole Shtikkel Torah!

IDIOT

Dear Vues Master:

The village idiot was standing in the market prattling off all kinds of nonsense to an amused crowd. When his wife came by to take him home, he wouldn’t stop speaking until she spit in his face. The next day, when he returned to the market, people asked why he stood still as a Golem when his wife spit at him. “What was I supposed to do?” he asked. “You should have said birchas tal umatar,” a man answered. The Shota clapped his hands and began dancing. When asked what he was so happy about, he said: “Now it’s clear to me why Birchas tal umatar was placed in Birchas hanashim.”

HS

Vues Master’s Note: Oy! What planet is he from as women are from venus and men are from mars!

SHOES

Dear Vues Master:

Seeing a look of pain on a man’s face, his friend asked him what’s wrong. “My shoes are pinching my foot,” he replied. Surprised, his friend asked why he didn’t go and buy another pair. The man replied: “My wife is cranky, my children are sick, my business is going under, and the only pleasure I have each day is when I come home and take off my shoes. And you want me to give up even this small pleasure!”

SB

Vues Master’s Note: I would pinch his cheeks!

SIGNS

Dear Vues Master

I was on the corner of 16th ave & 45th st when I noticed a few kids tearing down signs to put up their carnival signs! I told them it’s stealing, and they answered; We spoke to Mrs Beis Din! Well Rabbi Bes Din took immediate action and drove right over to the address that was on the carnival sign to complain to the parents. I also noticed their older siblings who wouldn’t miss an opportunity to get their younger brothers in trouble! Please speak to your kids about this. Thanks

RMS

Vues Master’s Note: Must be a gonev min Haganev as it is illegal to hang up signs!

NEW RABBI

Dear Vues Master:

When a community was looking to hire a Rav, some of the residents objected that he wasn’t enough of a Talmid Chacham for them. One of his defenders said: “He’s perfect for the position. He will serve us faithfully and we won’t have to be concerned that perhaps he’ll take shochad. As it is said: Hashochad ye’aveir einei chachamim and this Rav won’t even try. As it is said: Shommer pesaim Hashem.”

Vues Master’s Note: Money Talks!

PREGNANT

Dear Vues Master:

An elephant and a dog became pregnant at the same time. Three months down the line, the dog gave birth to six puppies. Six months later, the dog was pregnant again, and nine months on it gave birth to another dozen puppies. The pattern continued. On the eighteenth month the dog approached the elephant questioning, “Are you sure that you are pregnant? We became pregnant on the same date. I have given birth three times to a dozen puppies and they are now grown to become big dogs, yet you are still pregnant. What’s going on?” The elephant replied, “There is something I want you to understand. What I am carrying is not a puppy but an elephant. I only give birth to one in two years. When my baby hits the ground, the earth feels it. When my baby crosses the road, human beings stop and watch in admiration, what I carry draws attention. So what I’m carrying is mighty and great.” Don’t lose faith when you see others receive what seems like record time. Don’t be envious of others’ testimony. If you haven’t received your own, don’t despair. Say to yourself “My time is coming, and when it hits the surface of the earth, people shall yield in admiration.” Do not compare your journey to anyone else’s. “Comparitis” is dangerous & takes away from your full, beautiful, true potential.

EF

Vues Master’s Note: Oh my this elephant has a long memory!

GAS

Dear Vues Master:

What will be? People are taking money out of savings for gas? Is it a normal ting? What is the federal government actually doing about it????????

TRT

Vues Master’s Note: We need a Republican in office!