01 Nov SPEAK YOUR VUES WITH THE VUES MASTER

Please note that the author of Speak Your Vues is in no way affiliated with the publisher of

this paper. The author of this column is an independent third party contributor. The views and

opinions expressed by this author may not reflect the views and opinions of the publishers. If

one has any issues with any of the views, please write a letter to the Vues Master.

 

FIGHTING ANTI SEMITISM

A group of fans sat courtside at a Nets-Pacers

game in Brooklyn wearing T-shirts reading

“Fight antisemitism.” Men in the group

wore yarmulkes. The display is an apparent

response to Nets guard Kyrie Irving, who

recently promoted an antisemitic movie on

his Twitter account. In his last meeting with

the media this past weekend, Irving stood by

his tweet and was combative with reporters

when asked about it. “I can post whatever

I want,” Irving said when asked by ESPN’s

Nick Friedell why he promoted the movie on

his social media. The Nets released a separate

statement that they” strongly condemn

and have no tolerance for the promotion of

any form of hate speech.” The NBA then

released a statement on Sunday that “Hate

speech of any kind is unacceptable and runs

counter to the NBA’s values of equality, inclusion

and respect.” -Yahoo Sports Why do

the Brooklyn Nets keep this guy? He’s only

been a trouble maker. Yes, he has tremendous

talent. No one argues with that. But now he

is clearly an anti-semite!!! I don’t care how

much talent he has. Get rid of him.

Vues Master’s Note: This time he went over

the line! I love the picture & it’s a brilliant

move. Get rid of him. We don’t need a person

like him in Brooklyn or the NBA!!

INFLATION

Dear Vues Master:

Last week I went shopping in two different

local grocery stores & I couldn’t believe how

expensive a bag of romaine lettuce and one

honey dew were. They were both over $10

each. This inflation business is really driving

me crazy! When is it going to end?

KP

Vues Master’s Note: Inflation is here to stay

it will keep on growing until we get a Republican

White House and Republican Senate

and Congress!

ZELDIN

Dear Vues Master:

All the local rabbonim have backed Lee

Zeldin for governor because they think he

can help with the yeshivas. Can he really? Is

that his job?

KN

Vues Master’s Note: Of Course! The governor

appoints the education chancellor! But

more so, how about fighting anti-Semitic attacks

on a daily basis by imprisoning hate

crime perpetrators with high bail not springing

them out before thy have a chance to

contemplate their crimes. There is no cooling

period these violent criminals are back

on the street within eight hours of being arrested!

HOCHUL

Dear Vues Master:

Why does it feel that Governor Hochul has

been in hiding for the last month? Why has

she not been speaking to the orthodox media?

New York historically votes democratic

& it appears that she is losing ground everyday.

DR

Vues Master’s Note: Simple she does not

like us she is Cuomo’s protégé. Remember

during Covid how we were singled out? She

was part of the problem not the solution.

Look, is she doing something for the Yeshivos?

At least Zeldin claims he will help! That

is a start.

 

IDOLS

Dear Vues Master:

Do you think that we should care what Kanye West or Kyrie Irving think about Jewish people? I don’t even want to write this letter because I feel like I’m giving them the attention that they want. But who are they? Do I really care what a musician or a basketball player thinks? But can we just stay on the sideline when someone is an antisemite and just ignore them?

MK

Vues Master’s Note: Yes! Because many of our children follow these athletes and actors! We need to stop these attacks and let people know that the Holocaust could happen again!

HEIGHT

Dear Vues Master:

I’ve always been the shortest kid in my class. Both my parents are short people. New studies show that incomes rise for men for every inch of height by approximately $1000 per inch. Taller people also have higher average earnings for men and for women from the National Child Development Study (NCDS), a British birth cohort study of children born in 1958; the British Cohort Study (BCS), a birth cohort study of children born in 1970; and the Panel Study of Income Dynamics, a longitudinal study of U.S. households. (For both men and women, the relationship is striking: a one-inch increase in height is associated on average with a 1.4 percent to 2.9 percent increase in weekly earnings, and a 1.0 percent to 2.3 percent increase in average hourly earnings. The Thompson Elevator Shoe Company took these studies and rounded it off to $1000 per inch on average. Should I be worried that my children are going to have a hard time finding a shidduch because they are short & are bound to make less money than a tall person?

MB

Vues Master’s Note: My grandmother used to say that you got to be tall enough to reach the floor. There are ladders to make you taller but one can’t get shorter in any way! Everything is from Hashem he will take care of your children’s shidduchim!

LIARS

Dear Vues Master:

I never enjoyed politics. I honestly believe all politicians are corrupt. They all promise the world & rarely deliver. I think the system is really the issue. If someone gives a candidate money, isn’t it obvious that the candidate, if elected, will do everything to help that person or business. What about the little guy that can’t afford the donation to the candidate?

BL

Vues Master’s Note: At least the little guy is not disappointed when the politician messes up the rich donors! They never keep their word; they are almost as bad as shadchanim!

MULTIPLE WIVES

Dear Vues Master:

Your comment to my last letter is similar to what most men think of now in regards to marrying more than one wife. The common response to that idea is that “one wife is enough.” Yet, if someone had two wives he would only hear half of his wives drama than normal. If he had 4 wives he would only get 25% of it. Even then it would incentivize his wives to behave properly to get his time and not take him for granted like what happens to most men these days. Fellas, next time you get home from a long hard day at work would you rather have a wife who greets you at the door with a nice cold beer or one that scolds you the minute you walk through the door and demands you do 100% of the household chores two day ago ? Think about it.

AB

Vues Master’s Note: Or maybe you get scolded four times as much! They are called tzaros in the Gemara for a reason! We are not meant to handle multiple wives! As women are not apt to share a man it just causes tzaros!

YERUSHA AND TZEDAKA

Dear Vues Master:

Two poor brothers who lived on tzedakah were regular visitors to the Rothschild mansion where, once each month, they were given 100 marks each. When one of the brothers died, the other made the usual call alone. The family treasurer who disbursed funds to the poor handed him the usual 100 marks. “Excuse me,” he said, “where is the other 100?” The treasurer replied: “Your brother is dead. Your share is 100 marks.” “What do you mean, my share?” the schnorrer said. “Who is my brother’s heir – me or Rothschild?“

MK

Vues Master’s Note: I don’t know if my father in law in Yerushalayim promised me his route in the USA to collect money. He was very generous!

DOUBLE TALK

Dear Vues Master:

Eila Toldos Noach Noach These are the generations, leisure. The word noach means comfortable; doubling the word, noach-noach, amplifies it to mean very comfortable or leisure. For example, Dak means thin and Dak dak means very thin; similarly, gal means wave and gal gal means circle. With that in mind this is how to read the next parsha, Lech Lecha – (And G-d said) to Avram, hasten! Lach means “go to” and lach-lach means “go from.” To “go to” means going to something like making a goal; making a goal takes time and thought. However, to “go from” means going from something like a bad crowd; leaving a bad crowd should take no time and no thought. Another way of understanding the double wording is when we put all our eggs in our offspring we end up sit on our laurels and bring the flood; however, having alacrity, like Avraham, we role model and bring b’nai Yisrael.

DG

Vues Master’s Note: : I read this letter quickly!

LESSON

Dear Vues Master:

Every year, at this time, I recognize someone in the world who puts themselves on the line for others despite the repercussions. I call it the “Noach Award” because even according to the opinion that Noach was only great in his generation he’s still distinguished for breaking the ice, for being the first person to rebuke the public. Last year’s award was James O’Keefe of Project Veritas and this year it is Chaya Raichik of Libs of TikTok. With that said, here is an example of the challenges of doing the right thing. I went with my father-in-law to get his car back from Kings Auto Group Collision Center. We went with our wives as I expected they weren’t going to give the car back so easily. It took close to two hours, $1,500, raised voices and some body slamming into me before we got it out. We are going to file a complaint and get our money back. Let’s learn from Avraham and Chaya Raichik about, sur mira vasa tov, leave bad and do good. The first step to leave is always the hardest.

DG

Vues Master’s Note: Great opportunity to work on patience!

ELECTIONS

Dear Vues Master:

It seems that Israel has at least one election every year. I honestly do not understand their system at all. Do you think that the election process is better in America or Israel?

PN

Vues Master’s Note: Well that

would depend if you like going to

mekubalim for votes or to dead

people for votes. Both election

processes are flawed!

ISRAELI POLITICS

Dear Vues Master:

I’m writing this half in jest and half

in awe. Imagine for a minute you’re

the most skilled politician on Earth.

You know it’ll be decades before

anyone can even approach your skill

level. This isn’t ego or pride, it’s an

assessment of your competition.

You win election after election, and

know just what you can and can’t do

to stay in power. You lead successfully

for over a decade. No wars,

the economy skyrockets, and your

party consistently ranks at the top in

all polls. After a decade it becomes

a little tiresome. You’re not ready

to retire (that would be even more

boring), you love your country and

want to help it grow even more, but

you could use a break. Your house

is in disrepair but you don’t want to

live in a house undergoing a complete

restoration. A sabbatical would

be a dream. Yet, you know a sabbatical

for a world leader is out of the

question. What do you do? Can you

imagine if you were so good, so unbelievably

good, that you could actually

purposefully lose an election

by just enough to get yourself a one

year break and then orchestrate the

politics “just enough” to have another

election one year later…and…

after the country has bought you a

private plane, completely renovated

your house, and gone through just

enough division not to ruin the country

but cause the people to want you

to step back in, you begin earnestly

campaigning to return – refreshed

and ready for another twelve year

run? Welcome to Bibi 2.0

RUP

Vues Master’s Note: Ha! You wish

that was what he did! He lost last

election. Lost it to an incompetent

guy who is not even running again!

MAMA

Dear Vues Master:

This Shabbos is the yahrtzeit

of Rachel Imanu. Mama Rachel

was the quintessential mother.

Mama Rachel was the mother

of all Jews. Her life was one of

hardship, yet she rose above it

all. A true Jewish woman. Mama

Rachel was the mother of us all.

Do you think that she was the

most beloved woman in tanach?

It always bothered me that

she wasn’t buried with Yakov

at Maarat Hamachpela? Being

buried by herself, everyone goes

out of their way to visit her specifically.

FR

Vues Master’s Note: A Mother

knows best! And helps the most!

TROUBLE

Dear Vues Master:

A mother sternly said to her son: “I

received a note from your Rebbe

today.” “That’s OK Mom,” he responded.

“I promise I won’t tell

Dad.

DS

Vues Master’s Note: Are you more

scared of your father or your father

in heaven?

GRAVE MISTAKE

Dear Vues Master:

Two men in a graveyard noticed

an elegant marble Matzeiva upon

which was written outstanding

Praises about the deceased. One

of the men commented: “I never

knew that he was such a special

person.” The other responded: “I

knew him well. If he could read

these praises, he would think

that he was buried in the wrong

grave.”

RS

Vues Master’s Note: This is a

dead issue!

LANGUAGE

Dear Vues Master:

Mr. Friedman had dinner at a kosher

Chinese restaurant and was

surprised to hear the Chinese

waiter speaking to him in Yiddish.

On the way out, as he was paying

the bill, he said to the owner “The

food was great and having a Chinese

waiter who speaks Yiddish

was a special treat.” “Shhh! Not so

loud,” said the owner. “He thinks

we’re teaching him English.”

BF

Vues Master’s Note: But at least

the food was good! How was the

kishka?

BRACHA

Dear Vues Master:

What bracha would someone

make if they win the 1

billion dollar

Powerball lottery drawing?

FN

Vues Master’s Note: Any

bracha on any food he

wants! He now has enough

money to spend!

BAR MITZVAH

Dear Vues Master:

These days even in baal habatishe

circles the norm has become that

the music at a bar mitzvah be djs

playing club style music with

strobe lights flashing. It’s safe to

say that the origins of this type of

scene do not come from the Alte

Heim. Are there any rabbonim

saying anything about this?

LW

Vues Master’s Note: My Rebbe would

say it is more Bar than Mitzvah