28 Feb SPEAK YOUR VUES WITH THE VUES MASTER
TORAH UMESORAH
Dear Vues Master:
Torah U’Mesorah has just released a letter
outlining a plan to have yeshivos end their
zmanim earlier in the summer and begin their
new zman earlier in the fall. The letter states
that the proposal, originally presented at a re-
cent meeting of the Vaad Roshei Yeshiva of
Torah U’Mesorah, would resolve the issue of
there being a very limited Elul zman in years
such as the upcoming one, in which Rosh
Chodesh falls out early. The letter notes that
such a schedule makes it difficult for boys
to properly learn about the Yomim Tovim;
children and parents are on “vacation mode”
until selichos; and there is too much unstruc-
tured time for bochurim after camps end. Did
anybody think about the summer businesses?
By making the summer shorter they will lose
business! I understand that it would be better
for the students but what about parnassah?
EL
Vues Master’s Note: It should not affect anyone’s
parnassah as it will start earlier and end earlier
but will have the same eight to ten weeks!
PRICE CHECK
Dear Vues Master:
Please tell your readers that all non-processed
meat and chicken is kosher for Pesach. Buy
now and freeze for Pesach before prices go
up. (Please note: This doesn’t apply to ground
meat. Large pieces of meat should be rinsed as
the bags that hold them sometimes have corn
starch)
REG
Vues Master’s Note: But what will be with the
meat companies who want to make some extra
money!
HOSPITAL
Dear Vues Master:
A woman called the switchboard of a hospi-
tal and asked how Mrs. Schwartz in room 102
was doing. The switchboard operator put her
on hold for a minute, then came back and re-
ported: “Mrs. Schwartz in room 102 is doing
very well! Why, just this morning her lab work
came back and everything is normal. Her doctor
is pleased and says she will be able to go home
next week.” “Hurray!” shouted the caller. “You
must be a relative to be so happy,” observed the
switchboard operator. “No,” explained the call-
er, “I’m Mrs. Schwartz in room 102. Nobody
tells me anything!”
EP
Vues Master’s Note: This is a sick joke! Hope
this does not happen in real life!
MATZAH
Dear Vues Master:
What did the blind man say when he was given
some matzah? “Who wrote this stuff?”
MB
Vues Master’s Note: This is a frail joke! I can’t
see myself repeating.
CHUSTER ROV
Dear Vues Master:
In Obituary for Rav Shmelke Leifer-Chuster
Rebbe ZTL. He NEVER gave any hashgachas.
You’re confusing him with Rabbi PD Horowitz
ztl – Chuster Rav son of Bostoner Rebbe gave
hashgachas. Rav Shmelke spent his life taking
in Bochurim who didn’t make it in mainstream
Chassidishe Yeshivos – he turned many of them
around and they still love him.
CC
Vues Master’s Note: Thanks for enlightening us!
We appreciate this correction! May his memory
be a bracha
ZAYIN ADAR
Dear Vues Master:
Why do people celebrate the 7th day
of Adar for Moshe Rabbeinus birth-
day in Eretz Yisrael & in America the
only thing we know about the 7th day
of Adar is that we don’t say tachanun?
In Eretz Yisrael they party all day. In
America I’ve never seen someone
have a party for the 7th day of Adar?
KH
Vues Master’s Note: Where we come
from it is a somber day where the Rav
gives a drasha and in the middle ev-
eryone sits on the floor and does tes-
huva!
READY MADE
Dear Vues Master:
The price for ready made Mishloach
Manos this year in candy stores is ab-
solutely insane. I have no idea why
people don’t make their own. You
probably can save 75% or more by
making it yourself.
AJ
Vues Master’s Note: There is obvious-
ly a market for it and people willing
to pay the price!
CHICKEN
Dear Vues Master:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
This question has been bothering
sages for ages. I have some info on
this insight. There was once a chicken
named shnitzel and she had 5 beau-
tiful chicks. One day, she took her
purse, left the house and started to
cross the road. Once she stepped onto
the curb, the world was in shock. She
did her shopping and was ready to go
home, but she didn’t want to because
it would make a big scene. Before she
could say anything, a butcher came
and grabbed her and shechted her.
I left over 5 yesomim. Look how far
klal yisrael has some. All the lashon
hara and motzi shem ra from one
small thing made 5 yesomim. May
Hashem help us and guide us. Stay
tone for the 3 elephants in the bathtub
scenario.
SW
Vues Master’s Note: Oy! You forgot
to include the charidy link and the
matching campaign!
PANTS
Dear Vues Master:
Is this real? An auction house planned
to sell Rav Chaim Kanievskys zt”l
pants, but pulled the trousers off the
block after an inquiry by The Post.
The well-worn black pants belonging
to Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky, known
among his followers as “minister of the
Torah,” were set to go up for auction
March 1 — with a breathtaking open-
ing bid of $3,200. “Pants that belonged
to…[Rabbi] Chaim Kaniesvky…and
worn by him for a long time,” the auc-
tion listing read. I understand if some-
one wants to purchase Rav Chaims
zt”l tefillin or tallis but his pants? That
seems a little crazy!
KS
Vues Master’s Note: Just keep your
pants on or they might sell it!
WOMEN
Dear Vues Master:
I’ve been noticing a lot more women
saying kaddish these days behind the
mechitza when they are in shul. I have
absolutely no problem with them say-
ing kaddish for a loved one but I think
they should not try to be louder than
the men when they daven. It’s very
noticeable when a woman is saying
kaddish & they clearly want the men
to hear them.
PH
Vues Master’s Note: I’m not sure
where you daven. I never saw this in
my life!
THREE DINNER GUESTS
Dear Vues Master:
I absolutely loved Rabbi Goldwas-
sers 3 dinner guests’ answers in the
fun question section last week. Rabbi
Goldwasser said he would invite the
3 boys from Eretz Yisrael that were
kidnapped a few years back and then
killed- the kedoshim Naftali Frankel,
Gilad Shaar, and Eyal Yifrach. Rabbi
Goldwasser’s answer clearly shows
why he is a talmid chacham & loved
by so many.
LS
Vues Master’s Note: Amazing how
many different answers we have re-
ceived and the question never grows
old!
ROTHCHILD
Dear Vues Master:
A Rothschild who wasn’t shomer
Shabbos was asked why he wasn’t
observant like his brother. “What
are you talking about?” he said. “My
brother and I are
fulfills He. מקיימים את התורה כולה
the ציוויים and I the איסורים“.
BM
Vues Master’s Note: It is a combined
effort!
REBBE VS ROSH YESHIVA
Dear Vues Master:
Why the golden Bekeshe & fancy
heavy fur coat? Why is it that the
many Chasidic Rebbes dress fancy
colored Bekeshes, Shtreimels &
fur-lined coats, whereas the Roshei
Yeshivohs wear a plain Frak (long
coat) & plain hats? This question
was asked from the Netziv and he an-
swered, that this Minhag goes back in
history a long time ago Klal Yisrael
had two leaders, one in Torah and one
in Avodah. We don’t find Moshe Rab-
beinu who represents Torah to have
any special clothing. Whereas Aharon
& his children who represent Avodah
had to wear special Bigdei Kehunah.
MF
Vues Master’s Note: I think that it’s a
culture thing.
MEAL
Dear Vues Master:
As two friends who had just eaten
dinner left the restaurant, one asked
the other what he thought of the meal.
“It’s a shame that the creations got
mixed up,” his friend responded.
“What do you mean ‘creations got
mixed up?’ What do creations have to
do with the meal?” The friend replied:
“If the soup had been as clear as the
wine that we drank and if the wine
had been aged like the duck that we
ate, and if the duck had been as plump
as the waiter who served us, it would
have been a good meal.”
VE
Vues Master’s Note: Oh! Stop com-
plaining. Just wait till you get the bill!
MUSIC
Dear Vues Master:
Last week I went to Mostly Music in
Boro Park to have them download my
favorite album of all time MBD Ne-
shama! I paid $20.70 but it was worth
every penny! It sounds like you’re in
the studio System 2. My good friend
Ezzy did it for me (nice guy). It was
arranged by Moshe Monah Rosen-
blum with a 56 piece Israel Orchestra
in 1973, fifty years ago but as good as
today! Mordechai’s voice is Golden
B”H. I’m drumming on my dash-
board! Mishenechnos Adar Marbim
B’Simcha!
RMS
Vues Master’s Note: Nobody beats
MBD!!
PARENT
Dear Vues Master:
Shemos 21: 15-17
15: And he that strikes his father or
his mother, he shall be put to death
[by strangulation]. 16: And if one
kidnapped a man and sold him, and
he was found in his hand, he shall
be put to death [by stoning]. 17:
And he that curses his father or his
mother, he shall be put to death [by
stoning]. Ibn Ezra: Saadiah Gaon
asks, why was this verse inserted be-
tween He that strikes his father and
he that curses his father? Generally
speaking, it is children who are kid-
napped, and not adults. The children
then grow up away from their parents
and do not recognize them or form
a close relationship with them. This
then presents the possibility of a child
cursing or hurting his parents, which
otherwise would be unthinkable. –
Gutnick The most frequent form of
kidnapping is abduction by a parent
or family member. The three telltale
signs that a child is kidnapped are the
following behaviors: hitting, alienat-
ing, or cursing a parent. Furthermore,
the verses above also reveal the three
levels of kidnapping: The first level is
when he is living at home and can hit
his parents. The second level is when
he is abducted by the “alien-parent”
and alienates the other parent. The
third level is where the parent knows
his whereabouts and tries to reach out
to him but gets cursed instead. Even
though hitting a parent is more egregious
, as there is physical assault, it
nevertheless gets a lesser punishment
because the child is at least at home.
However, the other two cases get
stoned because he is away from home
and separating a child from a parent
is like separating him from G-d. Even
though a person is supposed to dis-
tance himself from a wicked person
this doesn’t apply to a father and son
as the wicked son is expected to be at
his father’s Pesach table.
DG
Vues Master’s Note: You are consis-
tent. But you are getting nowhere as
you keep on being mevazeh Talmidei
Chachamim!
THE HALF A MILLION DOL-
LAR HOUSE
Dear Vues Master:
The first laws of Mishpatim are those
of the eved ivri, the Jewish bonds-
man. The bondsman is a person
who was sold by the beis din (Jew-
ish court) so he can pay back what
he stole. The question is, why would
the Torah want to start the section of
laws by dealing with a thief? The
Sava MiKlem answers that had the
Torah been written by man, it would
have started with honorable laws of
kindness and benevolence rather than
with a lowly thief. However, Hashem
gave us the Torah, and we are all His
children. When one has a troubled
son, all his thoughts are on him and
how he can help him turn his life
around. The good son doesn’t need
all that attention. That’s why Hashem
started with the thief: to find ways to
rehabilitate him, such as having him
move in with a good family to learn to
mend his ways. – Yitzy Adlin There
are two kinds of sons: A son that the
beis din has to separate him to make
restitution and the other son who
separates himself and causes resent-
ment. When a son separates himself
from his father, he causes the father
to make bad decisions and become
resentful. Case in point, I passed
up an unbelievably valuable house
that was well kept and in an extreme-
ly good neighborhood. I would have
had first dibs. However, my mind was
on my son and even though I thought
dozens of times about buying it, I
froze. Some of the thoughts I had that
nixed me from using my frontal lobe
(reasoning) is who is going to inherit
me, I have “no” son? My son refused
my money and all I need is for him
to refuse this, that would hurt. Would
the religious neighbors who were
nice to my aunt and me reject me if
I chose to buy it? The neighbor said
she doesn’t want it for investment but
for her own children. Ah, that’s so
nice, she has a relationship with her
kids, how can I stop that? Had beis
din sold my son I would have been
planning for the day he would be free
but when he sells himself freedom is
only a dream. Had he been with me
he would have been married and liv-
ing in the house but now it’s water
under the bridge.
DG
Vues Master’s Note: You are going
nowhere!
SMART PHONE
Dear Vues Master:
I believe that today unfortunately
more people if you observe closely
look more at their smartphones than
in seforim!
RMS
Vues Master’s Note: Maybe their
seforim are on the smartphone! Dan
L’kaf Zchus!