28 Mar SPEAK YOUR VUES WITH THE VUES MASTER
LESSON
Dear Vues Master:
R’ Shimshon Aharon Polansky, known as the Tep-liker Rav, was one of the geonei Yerushalayim,and the most accomplished talmidei chachamimin the city came to learn from him. A few days before Pesach, he came into the full beis medrash and looked around. He stood up in front of the aron kodesh and announced that he had a list of local women who were making Yom Tov alone and were in need of help with some basic tasks. The Rav asked if any of the men were prepared to close their Gemaras and have a share in this great mitzvah. Almost as one, the young men lining the benches stood up, each of them understanding the magnitude of the zechus. “In order to protect their privacy,” the Rav said, “I would ask each of you to approach me separately and I will give you apiece of paper with an address and instructions. ”They lined up and approached, one at a time, and each one received a paper with… their own address, and a very clear message about what their role was on that day.
RB
Vues Master’s Note: Ha! I missed that day. I think I was on the basketball court playing!
MOTHER’S LETTER
Dear Vues Master:
So proud of this mom’s letter to her kids-Dearest Children, ‘שיחיTa and I are looking forward to hosting everyone for Pesach, BeH. KAH, you are a big, wonderful and growing group. Last year, things were a bit difficult for me and I’d really like to avoid someof the stresses of the past and enjoy your company. To that end, in order for things to not be overly stressful for me, here are some guidelines, which I would appreciate if everyone would follow: 1. Each parent is responsible to clean up, right away, after their child(ren) have eaten. This means table, highchair, chairs, floor, dishes, etc.1a. Please clean up toys bf going to bed for the night and bf leaving the house. 2. Dirty diapers are to be thrown out in the green bin outside but first put into a cheap plastic bag (i will buy a roll)3. Smelly diapers should be changed in your room. It isn’t fair to everyone else sitting around to change it in a public place. Please be consider-ate. 4. On erev Yom tov days there will be many people who want to shower. Therefore, I ask that the children be bathed the night before or in the morning and that the men shower at the mikveh. This will help a lot. 5. Chol Hamoed: Planning activities and trips in advance of Pesach makes a lot of sense to me. I think this will help to get people moving earlier in the day and be more organized, so you don’t end up doing nothing but going to the park…. Please discuss it amongst yourselves and figure out a fun filled week. 6. On big trips, you can take fruit, matza, cheese for the kids or hamburgers etc. to eat lunch while you’re out and I won’t serve lunch that day. 7. Generally, last year, the women were up early feeding their children and they ate then too. Some oft he men, got up late, went to shul late, and then wanted eggs and potatoes etc. at 11-12:00. While I can’t tell you when to get up and what to do, this is still my house, so I can say that no one, absolutely no one, will be allowed to cook breakfas t after 11:00am in the kitchen. If you want eggs and potatoes for breakfast, you’ll have to be finished in the kitchen by 11, so you need to start much earlier. No exceptions! 8. I will prepare BeH, in advance, most of the food for lunches and dinners for Chol Hamoed. This will include soups, mains and some sides. But, everyday, I would like1 family/group to be responsible for making salad or any sides that are needed. I also want schnitzel made fresh for one night dinner. So please dis-cuss between yourselves, in advance, who will do what Beh and on which night. And who will do the lettuce on erev pesach, please. 9.Bathroom: many people are using the same bathroom so please be consider-ate and clean up after yourself, replace finished tissues or toilet paper etc. 10.If there is anything you will need for yourselves or the kids please let me know soon so I can get it early. This includes the food you will need for your kids. Ie: Greek yogurt, cheese, milk, etc. Each family should send me their own list and quantities and I’ll add it up and buy what’s needed iyh. Thank you all for your understanding, cooperation and assistance in making this an enjoyable yom tov for us all!
Love, Ma
Vues Master’s Note: I heard that most of this family stayed home and said to their parents you come to us!
CLEANING
Dear Vues Master:
I once asked a young boy what he does to help out for Pessach? He told me that his mom told him to go out to the park. That would be the greatest help. He came back early saying I’ve helped enough. I once put on easy off on the stove and stood there with the kitchen hose like a fireman hosing down the oven till it was completely water-logged! Well at least it was Kosher Lpessach Mehadrin min hamehadrin.I also tried to surprise my wife when I told her how I bought a new recliner from the furniture truck that camedown the block. I also told her not to worry, since I had asked the African American workers to take down the old recliner to the garage. Uh oh she keeps her jewelry in the old one oops! Sorry. I sat down on erev Pesach to clean out the vacuum bag of chometz. It did not have a bag. I tried cleaning out the dust & chometz from the vacuum cleaner but the ceiling fan was blowing everything all over the place.I took the entire vacuum cleaner and chucked into the sanitation truck! B”H Yom Yom! Chag Kasher V’sameach
RMS
Vues Master’s Note: And then you woke up!
ENJOY
Dear Vues Master:
I absolutely love the Yom Tov of Pesach. My family gets together every year for the sedarim. The house looks clean, everyone has new clothing. My wife gets a new shaitel. It’s a lot of work, but it’s all good. The issue that I have is that this year, there is a war in the Ukraine, antisemitism is rampant throughout the world & a lot of people are struggling because of covid & inflation both financially & psychologically. Should I feel guilty that I have it so good, & so many people are suffering throughout Klal Yisrael?
ET
Vues Master’s Note: You sound like a Jewish mama Jewish guilt! Just enjoy!
BEST
Dear Vues Master:
My family absolutely loves the Jewish Vues!! You are definitely the best newspaper for Klal Yisrael. I have friends that are modern, yeshivish syrian & chassidish & we all love the paper. You are really the newspaper of Klal Yisrael!!! I just want to say THANK YOU to the entire staff at the Jewish Vues for all the great work you guys do every week!!!
AH
Vues Master’s Note: Nobody beats our best readrship!
FUND
Dear Vues Master:
I just wanted to tell people how great a job the Matzah Fund in Eretz Yisrael does. I have been reading the Vues for many years & have always contributed toward the Matzah Fund. This year I was visiting a family member for a simcha in Eretz Yisrael & we decided to call up Alan Hirsch from the Matzah Fund & ask him if we can help volunteer to help distribute the matzah, grape juice, wine, chicken etc. to people that live in Yehuda & Shomron. Let me tell you, it was an experience of a lifetime. I will never forget it. We helped distribute any-thing & everything that a family needs for Pesach to families throughout the Yehuda & Shomron. These people, our brothers & sisters in Klal Yisrael appreciated it so much & desperately needed our help. Some of them are living in the most remote locations. I just want to give a big Yasher Koach To Alan Hirsch & all the volunteers at the Matzah Fund. Keep up the great work you do & have a Chag KasherV’Sameach!
DH
Vues Master’s Note: You could still donate by going to matzohfund.com
BUSY
Dear Vues Master:
Is it just me or does it seem that Jewish Brooklyn is back and busier than ever before! The streets have been insane the last two weeks.
FR
Vues Master’s Note: Just wait for July and August!
TRUE SIMCHA
Dear Vues Master:
I’m so excited for Pesach. It’s my favorite Yom Tov of the year! I’m just worried that I’m not going to be able to fulfill the mitzvah of feeling like I left Mitzrayim at the seder. I also have a very hard time being misameach all8 days. Do you have any suggestions for me?
SW
Vues Master’s Note: Just appreciate that you are not a prisoner in your own body like many are!
CELL PHONE
Dear Vues Master:
My ten year old daughter really wants me to buy her a cell phone for her afikomen present. I don’t think she’s ready for one but everyone in her class already has. What should I do?
YT
Vues Master’s Note: Make sure to get her a kosher phone without texting!
RABBI ELEFANT
Dear Vues Master:
Just wanted to let you know how much my family has been enjoying the Rabbi Elefant Pesach Q & A’s in the Jewish Vues. We have been reading them at the Shabbos table every weekend find them very informative.
LO
Vues Master’s Note: Thanks for the positive feedback!
MARRIAGE
Dear Vues Master:
I heard this joke from Rabbi Fischel Schachter. There was once a bachur who went over to his rebbe and asked him what he can do to help him live longer. The rebbe responded that there is something he can do! He advised him to go and get married. The bachur then asked how getting married would help him have a longer life. The rebbe replied that after he has a wife he won’t have this desire to live especially long. I’m thinking that maybe this is not such a joke! Maybe this is the rea-son for the so-called “Shidduch Crisis”! Teenagers today are so thought-out that they are scared to get married. They fear that if they don’t get married to the person who is exactly, as they say, “my type” they will lose their will to live! In truth, the opposite is true. Only when a person doesn’t get married does he make his life not worth living! The velt has to figure out how to use their intelligence the right way!
S K
Vues Master’s Note: My thirty years of marriage feel like fiveminutes…….under water!
SHADCHAN
Dear Vues Master:
AN OPEN LETTER FROM A FRUSTRATED SHADCHAN: It’s so hard to please anyone these days!!! Here is a partial list of m yclients …. I couldn’t even get them one date, and that is why I am final-ly quitting and going into the pickle business. Avraham Avinu: How can you recommend him to my daughter? Wasn’t he involved in a family feud with his father over some idols? Then he left home without a GPS or a viable business plan! Yitzchak Avinu: His brother is an Arab terrorist!!! Rivka Imeinu: Sorry, she seems nice but did you hear about her mishpucha??? Her father’s a murderer and her brother’s a ponzi scam artist… . Yaakov Avinu: Okay, he sits and learns all day… but his brother is a no-goodnik. And any-way, we heard he has a limp….. . Leah Imeinu: Her father’s a con artist, and she has ophthalmological problems. Maybe it’s genetic? Moshe Rabbeinu: Are you kidding? His parents are divorced! And worse.. they remarried! And we hear he’s in speech therapy…King David: How dare you suggest him to our yichusdike family? Our neighbor Yenti told us that his great-grandmother was a giyoret!!! Chava: Do you know anything about her family? We never heard of them. No one knows where she came from and she can’t come up with any referrals!(Please chevra, judge the person for him/herself – you’re going to marry the person, not the family as much. You’re getting married to build your home, not to please your neighbors. And finally, remember that if you are in this world, you are not perfect and neither is your spouse)
PD
Vues Master’s Note: Well if Avraham Avinu would be around today he might not wear a black hat
WATCH YOUR CHILDREN
Dear Vues Master:
Please watch your children. The other day I was driving and I almost hit a toddler crossing the street by himself. The mother came running afterwards! Our children are too precious and jus tbecause the weather is turning nice we still must keep a strong eye on them.
BI
Vues Master’s Note: I feel that anytime I try to lose my child they always man-age to come back. I guess no one elsewants them!
MUSIC
Dear Vues Master:
This letter is addressed especially to music bands of all sizes – whether you play solo keyboard or you are part of a multi-part orchestra. It’s addressed to all the rabbanim of shtiebels and big shuls. It’s addressed to parents with kids from infants to teenagers. And, it’s addressed to all adults, especially the ones who can still hear something. I recently made a wed-ding with numerous guests. We had a seven piece band. I placed a box of earplugs outside the reception hall for people to take. When the band played, not one of my guests wore ear plugs. After the wedding, I asked about 100guests two simple questions – Was the music too loud? Did you feel that you needed ear plugs? Not one person felt that the music was too loud. Many said that this was the first simcha event they attended in decades where they enjoyed the music because it was not overpoweringly loud. My affair is clear evidence that one can enjoy simcha music without it needing to be loud. Yes, it is possible. I’ve written several articles regarding the dangers of hearing loss caused by oud music. I’ve spoken to several rabbis and parents in the neighborhood about this ongoing problem. Several audiologists have told me that during the past decade or so, they have been seeing a dramatic increase in severe hearing loss among toddlers and teenagers in the Jewish religious community. Much of it is caused by loud music exposure coming from music bands and earbuds and headphones. I am outraged that local rabbis, many who attend several simchot each week and know how loud the music is, shrug their shoulders and won’t address the problem one iota. I’m outraged that music bands feel that the only way their music can sound good is to make it loud. A few band leaders have said “This is what the bride and groom /Bar Mitzvah boy / the parents want. ”I’m skeptical that any host specifically came to a band leader to say, “Blast the music until the eardrums break.” Note, incidentally, that many of the band players are wearing headphones. That should indicate something. At my affair, not one band member wore headphones. We plan to fight this outright negligence, and I hope that this letter is merely the beginning of a major change to educate the com-munity about the immense problems of noise-induced hearing loss. I’m strongly requesting any reader to take immediate action on a massive level. Talk to your local rabbis and other leaders and request them to alert their congregants and band leaders about this problem. There are many web articles that discuss hearing loss. You can also email me at dannyfeldman@yahoo.com to discuss this issue. I’m happy to recommend the band that played at our affair, if you contact me. But, I think any band should accommodate the non-earplug volume if you would request and insist on it. If everyone makes an effort, we will succeed in making a simcha not just during the affair, but one that will last a lifetime by preserving your and your family’s hearing.
Daniel Feldman
dannyfeldman@yahoo.com
Vues Master’s Note: What did you say? I could not hear you as I have the music blasting
LOOKOUT
Dear Vues Master:
Please, please, please! Look around your shul, your block, think of your former classmates, and you will likely find an individual, a couple, or teens or people of any age who would greatly benefit from some recognition and acknowledgment that they exist and are an important part of our com-munity and nation. To note, I know an older single who feels rejected by the community. He goes to shul and is hardly noticed. Can the Gabbai give him a kibud? Can he receive a warm greeting? If possible, can he be invited for a seudah? This fellow is polite, pleasant, and friendly. And if he comes for a seudah, allow him the freedom to bentch and leave when he wants. Do not conduct an interview of sorts- bombarding him with questions. Just accept him and make him comfortable. Please do not underestimate the importance and urgency of this situation which is all too prevalent. Thank you and Chag kasher v’someyach!
DY
Vues Master’s Note: I am always on the lookout! Hopefully there will be no more lonely people!